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Do you think the Iona Institute are homophobic?

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Comments

  • #1982
    Clandestine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,466 ✭✭✭Clandestine


    opinionated3 wrote: »
    Certainly wouldn't allow boyfriends or girlfriends into the house. ..
    Don't really agree... but it'd be your house at the end of the day


  • #1983
    Obliq
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,371 ✭✭✭Obliq


    No
    opinionated3 wrote: »
    Not really sure how I'd react if I found out my son/daughter was gay. ...

    I can't imagine how hard it would be, if all your life you have thought (or been taught) that being gay is wrong. I think I would be fine about it because I have never been influenced by religion saying it's wrong to be gay. I have never thought it was wrong to be gay, so I'm guessing I'd react fine. In fact, I said on another thread that it'd cut down on the hair, boobs and 4"heels brigade, so might be a bonus!


  • #1984
    Ghost Buster
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,172 ✭✭✭Ghost Buster


    No
    P_1 wrote: »
    Would you allow a son's girlfriend or a daughter's boyfriend into the house though out of interest?

    Well if by 'traditionalist' the poster means Catholic , I should think not!


  • #1985
    J_E
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,734 ✭✭✭J_E


    No
    opinionated3 wrote: »
    Guess I am something of a traditionalist. Definitely wouldn't kick them out of the home or anything but I guess I would be somewhat disappointed. Certainly wouldn't allow boyfriends or girlfriends into the house. ..
    Nobody says "Yippee!" when a son/daughter comes out. Of course parents feel an inside feeling of disappointment because they have different expectations of their child. You should never be disappointed in them though; they show a huge degree of courage for being true to themselves.

    The idea that you'd show shame in them having a relationship is disappointing though.
    opinionated3 wrote: »
    OK. Fair enough. What am I supposed to do? I don't run around calling gays names or anything like that. I keep to myself.
    That's Ireland's issue at the core really. A 'don't ask, don't tell' sort of attitude.


  • #1986
    opinionated3
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,197 ✭✭✭opinionated3


    OK. Fair enough. What am I supposed to do? I don't run around calling gays names or anything like that. I keep to myself.


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  • #1987
    floggg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,821 ✭✭✭floggg


    No
    RobertKK wrote: »
    If everyone can marry what sex they want, then surely traditional marriage is destroyed by it, given marriage was only between a man and a woman.

    Really?

    I don't know you're marital status, but let's assume you are married to the love of your life.

    How would me getting married to the love of my life three years later in any way affect your marriage, never mind destroy it.

    genuinely interested in a reasoned response.


  • #1988
    opinionated3
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,197 ✭✭✭opinionated3


    P_1 wrote: »
    Would you allow a son's girlfriend or a daughter's boyfriend into the house though out of interest?

    If I approved of them. .. Yes. By that I mean as long as they are not known trouble makers scumbags etc


  • #1989
    lazygal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    No
    opinionated3 wrote: »
    OK. Fair enough. What am I supposed to do? I don't run around calling gays names or anything like that. I keep to myself.

    You could try this newfangled idea called empathy. It's an effective antidote to prejudicial tendencies.


  • #1990
    AerynSun
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 544 ✭✭✭AerynSun


    No
    opinionated3 wrote: »
    Certainly wouldn't allow boyfriends or girlfriends into the house. ..

    Your call. But if you did that I'd hope you would do it knowing that you were effectively asking your children to leave? Because if they could only spend time with the one they love outside of your home... they would have no choice but to go elsewhere... and in time they would be elsewhere more and more often and you would be alone in your gay-free zone, by your lonesome self.

    That would be a pity, really.


  • #1991
    Obliq
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,371 ✭✭✭Obliq


    No
    lazygal wrote: »
    Really? Why?


    I would love them and hope they'd know being gay is not something to worry about.
    opinionated3 wrote: »
    Guess I am something of a traditionalist. Definitely wouldn't kick them out of the home or anything but I guess I would be somewhat disappointed. Certainly wouldn't allow boyfriends or girlfriends into the house. ..
    hotmail.com wrote: »
    You have homophobic tendencies.
    P_1 wrote: »
    Would you allow a son's girlfriend or a daughter's boyfriend into the house though out of interest?
    lazygal wrote: »
    That's incredibly sad.

    If your son or daughter was planning a civil partnership would you go?



    Being traditional is not an excuse for treating gay offspring differently.
    Clandestine wrote: »
    Don't really agree... but it'd be your house at the end of the day
    Ah HERE. YE ALL. What gives?? This person is asking an honest question and I am appreciating that he/she has the gumption to ask it. Give a chance, eh? Not everyone has the benefit of a whole generation of being cool with homosexuality. Chances, please??


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  • #1992
    Bannasidhe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,218 ✭✭✭✭Bannasidhe


    No
    opinionated3 wrote: »
    OK. Fair enough. What am I supposed to do? I don't run around calling gays names or anything like that. I keep to myself.

    So do you think it but don't say it?


  • #1993
    J_E
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,734 ✭✭✭J_E


    No
    Obliq wrote: »
    Ah HERE. YE ALL. What gives?? This person is asking an honest question and I am appreciating that he/she has the gumption to ask it. Give a chance, eh? Not everyone has the benefit of a whole generation of being cool with homosexuality. Chances, please??
    I agree, opinionated3 is obviously not malicious, better to talk to people about the subject than shouting at them or telling them off.


  • #1994
    floggg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,821 ✭✭✭floggg


    No
    opinionated3 wrote: »
    OK. Fair enough. What am I supposed to do? I don't run around calling gays names or anything like that. I keep to myself.

    Ponder why you would be disappointed. Ask yourself is it reasonable or rational? Ask would it make the son or daughter you raised from birth any different from the day before you found out? Ask would you love you less? Ask what do they need from their parents - love and support, and hurt and disdain?

    And perhaps most importantly - try empathising. Put yourself in their shoes - ask yourself how would you feel if you were shunned for who you felt attracted to? Ask yourself if somebody was to tell you that your love of their mother/father was wrong, would you believe it - even if it felt completely natural and right to you?


  • #1995
    opinionated3
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,197 ✭✭✭opinionated3


    lazygal wrote: »
    That's incredibly sad.

    If your son or daughter was planning a civil partnership would you go?



    Being traditional is not an excuse for treating gay offspring differently.
    To be honest. ..... No, I wouldn't attend.


  • #1996
    Piliger
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,741 ✭✭✭Piliger


    No
    Obliq wrote: »
    I personally, am taking Panti's congratulations on only being a little bit homophobic seriously, because it would be SO surprising if we weren't. Considering our overpoweringly homophobic culture that we were raised in...........right?!

    Well neither of us can prove right or wrong - but I disagree completely. But we can leave it and move on :P


  • #1997
    Bannasidhe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,218 ✭✭✭✭Bannasidhe


    No
    opinionated3 wrote: »
    To be honest. ..... No, I wouldn't attend.

    But why?

    How would you feel if one of your parents so disproved of who you are, of a part of you that you were born with, that you did not choose and can not change that they shunned you publicly?

    To add:

    My father once felt like you and to be honest it cost him far more than it cost me because I just got on with my life and reckoned if his love was so conditional he could shove it.

    He missed out on his grandson and nearly missed out on his two great-grandchildren because of it. Now, aged 81 he comes to my house (where I live with my same-sex OH) every two weeks to spend time with his great-grandchildren. Last week he was teaching a 4 year old to peel carrots and he loved it. They call him Grand Dad and run to hug him.

    His disapproval couldn't change what I am and I would not let his disapproval make me ashamed - he risked being an old man cut off from his family because his love was conditional on his children only being something he approved of...


  • #1998
    J_E
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,734 ✭✭✭J_E


    No
    opinionated3 wrote: »
    To be honest. ..... No, I wouldn't attend.
    I think it's important to respect your child's decisions, even if they personally collide with your own interests.

    A very important film to watch in relation to this is Prayers For Bobby.

    opinionated3 wrote: »
    But if i attend am I not a hypocrite..... my offspring would surely know that I am attending against my will? ?
    Hypocrite for what?


  • #1999
    opinionated3
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,197 ✭✭✭opinionated3


    Bannasidhe wrote: »
    But why?

    How would you feel if one of your parents so disproved of who you are, of a part of you that you were born with, that you did not choose and can not change that they shunned you publicly?

    But if i attend am I not a hypocrite..... my offspring would surely know that I am attending against my will? ?


  • #2000
    floggg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,821 ✭✭✭floggg


    No
    opinionated3 wrote: »
    To be honest. ..... No, I wouldn't attend.

    Do you have kids now?

    Would you not want to put their happiness first?

    I'm assuming here you wouldn't be of the view that your disproval might make them change their mind - that won't happen.

    But it would make them feel terrible, ruin their big day and drive a wedge between you both which would likely leave you feeling equally bad.

    as i said, I'd ponder your reservations and ask are they rational, and should they come before your love for your child, if you ever found yourself in that position.

    I'd love if you could do that now too, because you'll soon be given the right to vote over the status of my relationship in a referendum. I would hope that before you cast a vote you'd think about those questions, and ask are you reservations or issue rational and sufficient to deny me equality as a matter of law.


  • #2001
    floggg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,821 ✭✭✭floggg


    No
    Piliger wrote: »
    Well neither of us can prove right or wrong - but I disagree completely. But we can leave it and move on :P

    Did you watch both videos?


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  • #2002
    Obliq
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,371 ✭✭✭Obliq


    No
    opinionated3 wrote: »
    To be honest. ..... No, I wouldn't attend.

    You sound like someone with kids. I think, realistically, you're new to the notion of YOUR OWN CHILDREN being gay. YUP it's a toughie ....as someone just pointed out. We'd prefer that our kids didn't have to go through the mill regarding acceptance for who they are, and it would be a whole lot easier for them if they were heterosexual.

    Or us.

    Not sure who it would be easier for anymore actually...........


  • #2003
    opinionated3
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,197 ✭✭✭opinionated3


    Bannasidhe wrote: »
    So do you think it but don't say it?

    Correct. ... current society dictates tha i am a homophobe who would burn all gays at the stake. .... so I keep my mouth shut. Its easier that way. It would only affect me if my child turned out gay. ...


  • #2004
    Nodin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    No
    opinionated3 wrote: »
    Correct. ... current society dictates tha i am a homophobe who would burn all gays at the stake. .... so I keep my mouth shut. Its easier that way. It would only affect me if my child turned out gay. ...


    What is your opinion on homosexuality/homosexuals? Just so we know, like.


  • #2005
    opinionated3
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,197 ✭✭✭opinionated3


    Obliq wrote: »
    You sound like someone with kids. I think, realistically, you're new to the notion of YOUR OWN CHILDREN being gay. YUP it's a toughie ....as someone just pointed out. We'd prefer that our kids didn't have to go through the mill regarding acceptance for who they are, and it would be a whole lot easier for them if they were heterosexual.

    Or us.

    Not sure who it would be easier for anymore actually...........

    No kids yet. ... It's actually an issue that bothers me. That is why I questioned earlier how I would react. I could be the best father in the world but the disappointment of having a gay so or daughter scares me. Just being honest here


  • #2006
    Bannasidhe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,218 ✭✭✭✭Bannasidhe


    No
    opinionated3 wrote: »
    Correct. ... current society dictates tha i am a homophobe who would burn all gays at the stake. .... so I keep my mouth shut. Its easier that way. It would only affect me if my child turned out gay. ...

    Edit to rephrase as I didn't see your previous post:

    (Do you have a child? - I see now you don't )

    The first time you hold you child in your arms will you swear to mind and protect them - as long as they don't turn out to be Gay?

    If would not just affect you - your reaction would affect your entire family including your child.

    Would you really hate your own child for something they have no control over?

    You really can be the best Dad in the world by loving your children unconditionally especially when you do not approve.


  • #2007
    opinionated3
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,197 ✭✭✭opinionated3


    Nodin wrote: »
    What is your opinion on homosexuality/homosexuals? Just so we know, like.

    As I said on another thread nodin for me its a case of not on my doorstep please. The act of gay love disgusts me andi just don't think it's natural. Having that said I wish no harm on anyone. It's my opinion and not something I'm going to run down the street with a megaphone blaring about. If that is the definition of a homophobe well then so be it. I'll have to live with that


  • #2008
    Nodin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    No
    opinionated3 wrote: »
    As I said on another thread nodin for me its a case of not on my doorstep please. The act of gay love disgusts me andi just don't think it's natural. Having that said I wish no harm on anyone. It's my opinion and not something I'm going to run down the street with a megaphone blaring about. If that is the definition of a homophobe well then so be it. I'll have to live with that


    The sex?


  • #2009
    opinionated3
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,197 ✭✭✭opinionated3


    Bannasidhe wrote: »
    Edit to rephrase as I didn't see your previous post:

    (Do you have a child? - I see now you don't )

    The first time you hold you child in your arms will you swear to mind and protect them - as long as they don't turn out to be Gay?

    If would not just affect you - your reaction would affect your entire family including your child.

    Would you really hate your own child for something they have no control over?

    You really can be the best Dad in the world by loving your children unconditionally especially when you do not approve.
    You see..... You just used the word hate. I wouldn't hate them. I just wouldn't approve of their lifestyle. If anything they would probably end up hating me....


  • #2010
    floggg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,821 ✭✭✭floggg


    No
    opinionated3 wrote: »
    No kids yet. ... It's actually an issue that bothers me. That is why I questioned earlier how I would react. I could be the best father in the world but the disappointment of having a gay so or daughter scares me. Just being honest here

    Have you actually tried to grapple with your issues with homosexuality?

    Wouldn't it be easier to do that then to spend the first 15 plus years of your childs life worrying and to have a question mark over your love from them?


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  • #2011
    J_E
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,734 ✭✭✭J_E


    No
    opinionated3 wrote: »
    As I said on another thread nodin for me its a case of not on my doorstep please. The act of gay love disgusts me andi just don't think it's natural.
    If it makes you feel any better (not sure it will), a sizeable proportion of gay men don't participate in anal sex. I can't comment for women.


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