Tuesday Funnies

A beautiful woman goes to her dentist for the first time in years.

After poking around in her mouth for awhile, he says,

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Jones, but it looks like you need to have a complete root canal."

She winces and says, "Ugh, I think I'd rather have another baby."




He says, "Well, OK, but I'm going to have to adjust the chair."

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A cowboy walks into the town saloon and gets a drink.

Aside from the bartender, he's the only one in the place.

Cowboy asks the bartender, "Where's everybody."

Bartender replies, "They're out to watch the hangin'"

Cowboy says, "Who's hangin'?"

Bartender says, "Brown Paper Pete."

Cowboy shakes his head and says, "Brown Paper Pete?! What kind of name is that?"

"Well," says the barman, "He always wears a brown paper hat, brown paper coat, paper pants, and paper shoes."

"Weird," says the Cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"




Bartender says, "Rustling."

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A snotty woman is at a party.

The only reason she is there is because she is the wife of the local bigwig.

Nobody actually likes her.

Going on a tirade she notes how her first husband was a loser who she divorced.

"He was an alchoholic who took 30 years but eventually drank himself to death after I left him".

A fellow party goer replies " I don't believe that"

Snotty woman "Its true!"

Fellow party goer " I still don't believe it. Nobody can celebrate for 30 years straight!"