Your most embarrassing sex story

creep wrote: »

First experience was horrible, she was just lying there and i was on top of her and didn't know what I was doing. It was quite embarrassing and she just left

I then practiced positions with an empty loo role sticking me mickey into it and the next time I brought a girl back I knew what to do.

Please dont judge me :o

seenitall wrote: »

AKA 'the Starfish'. :pac:

efb wrote: »

rimming. farting.

Pixie-Fairy wrote: »

I pulled my friends best friend at her 21st last year. Now I had just moved some crap up from home coz I had a week off. Didn't think I'd pull at all so my room was a bit of a mess.

We got back to mine, all over each other then some how managed to fall over the suitcase in the middle of the floor. We continued that was fine, both condomss ripped, so we switched to the bum, no lube so we used moisturisor. never use it ever.

It didn't stop there, we somehow managed to rip the curtain and curtain holder off the wall and I nearly bit his cock off. He left, next morning I found his boxers still on the ground, my housemate had heard everything and I had to go get the morning after pill. oh and I eh let out a small fart during it :pac:

Possibly the most embarrassing sex story I have. There's others but this is the most embarrassing by far.

Keith wrote: »

A few years ago i was out in a club with a few friends, the night was nearly over, we were all really drunk, when one of them came up, said he pulled and didnt have any condoms so gave him one, a few minutes later i pulled too, ran into the bathroom to get some johnnys from the vending machine and went off with her.
Eventually get back to her place, just about to do it when i reach into my pocket and instead of a condom, pull out a packet of Poppets.

Crooked Jack wrote: »

I posted this before in another thread, so apologies if you've already read it, but it seemed to fit in with this thread. Not that it was exactly embarrassing, as Im pretty sure she didn't know, but still, it's hardly something to be proud of.


There was this girl worked in a bar in uni that i really fancied. She either was, or really looked like, one of the Suicide Girls.
Anyway, one particularly drunken night she eventually succumbed to my witty banter and insightful, uh, insights.
So we're maulin' the faces off each other in the taxi on the way back to her place and practically kept it up while payin the taxi, walking to the door, goin up the stairs etc...
We get to her bedroom and strip off and me lad near smacked me in the face. She had an unreal body. So I head south and go to town on her and after a fairly enthusiastic exchange of genital and oral fluids she cums.
I move up to kiss her and all of a sudden she's "very sleepy," gives me a quick peck on the cheek, says we'll go again in the morning and rolls over to go to sleep.
So I'm left there with this thumping truncheon and I can practically see the ****er pulsating. Basically theres not a chance of me gettin to sleep with this, so i give it a few minutes to make sure yer wan is asleep and then start seeing to the problem myself. It's not what I'd expected but it would tide me over until the morning.
Im about to shoot and I realise I havent thought this through. there's no where for this to go, so I just catch it in my other hand. Now i'm in this strange room, with a handful of jizz, using the glow from my mobile to find somewhere to throw it.
There's no bin or anything or even a packet of wipes and even the feckin floor was wooden.
Im sat there and this thing is becoming more watery and at a real risk of dribblin out of my hands.
THIS is the feckin moment she chooses to wake up and decide she wants to cuddle.
She murmured something about putting my arms round her and I had a split second to act as she rolled over...so I just hoofed it down my throat.
I wouldnt dip my chips in it now but overall i found the taste fairly inoffensive.
Just in case you're curious she had to "rush off to class" when we woke up the next morning and I never got any.
Never got out with her again after either. Should have rubbed it in her feckin sheets.

Smidge wrote: »

I really hate to be a killjoy but please say you still used a condom?

RobFowl wrote: »

When they get stuck like that often end up in AE needing to be put back. Before starting my first job in AE we actually got specific training on how to do it..

PS re Banjo string posts I feel your pain...

The Big Smoke wrote: »

LMAO

Hate when a girl just lies there like a sack of potatoes though, they can do some of the work.

ANXIOUS wrote: »

Killjoy

Blitzkrieger wrote: »

Jebus! :eek:

Thankfully I've never had the problem but I would have thought that as soon as... things calmed down a bit, it'd be no problem to slide it back in place. I'm actually curious about how it becomes an emergency though - is it not just a bit sore? Or does the foreskin cut off the flow of blood away from the penis? Either way I want to hear more from that other user about how it gets fixed; that sounds hilarious and/or excrutiating.