To creche or not to creche,that is the question!!

poconnor16 · 21-08-2013 10:36AM #1

If this has been done to death, my apologies :rolleyes:

I cant decide whether or not to keep my son in creche. Background - he is 8 month old, has been in there 2 months. He seems to like it, has his off days of course. Its very near our house which is very handy and it is reasonable (760 per month, Cork). However, he has been sick an awful lot since going (suspected measles but it wasnt, whooping cough, tonsilitis, number of coughs/colds) and we are trying to weigh up if it is worth it??

We thought about a childminder but chose creche as it was more in our budget and nearer to home. Now when I think of the money spent in the last 2 months on doctors, unpaid leave etc....and also what my poor pet has been through - I'm not sure anymore.

Childminder - I don't think we could afford to bring someone to our house, and am nervous bringing him to a stranger. Plus he will have to re settle, and then there is the cost. I think most quoted us at 950 plus nappies (it would be 8.30 to 5.30, mon to friday).

Has anyone been through this and can you offer words of wisdom? I'm a very upset first time mammy, riddled with guilt for leaving him at all...:(

pwurple · 21-08-2013 11:40AM

Coughs and colds they all get eventually anyway. You can't keep them from other children forever afterall.

The whooping cough and measles I would be much more worried about. Those are quite serious. People shouldn't be sending their children to creche with those in the first place. Do they have a vaccination policy in place? What is their sick policy?

poconnor16 · 21-08-2013 11:55AM

The cough and cold thing I'm ok with, as you say it is the more serious things.
All kids have to be up to date with vaccinations - but of course in the baby room, most would not be fully vaccinated yet. I'm not sure on the sick policy - as in what happens if a child is ill? Last time he had a runny bum (he was teething) they said they would send him home if it continued, so they seem diligent.
The measles was misdiagnosed in another baby in his room, so they immediately informed everyone.
I dont think its a "bad creche". Maybe its my fault for putting him in there too young. I dont think we can afford childcare in our own home, so would have to look at a minder in their home. I just feel like I am sending him away to strangers and am scared at the thought.

How Strange · 21-08-2013 12:48PM

My doctor told me that when they get one bug it compromises their immune system so they just keep picking up things one after another. My son was in crèche from 6 months and was fighting fit until 12 months. He got one virus and it seemed like I had to take at least one day a week off for months on end.

He's over 2 now and he seems much more able to fight these things himself without actually getting sick.

Would you consider a child minder minding in their home?

poconnor16 · 21-08-2013 01:06PM

I think we will have to consider bringing him to someones house, we cannot afford to employ someone in our own home.
I'm just so scared of bringing him to a strangers house. Everyone I know has a grandparent or family member helping, or they knew someone who minds kids etc...I seem like the only person with no options other than strangers. I'm sure I am not the only person in this situation, I suppose I'd like to hear from anyone who has been here.
If either of us have to take leave from work again...well, it wont look good. I'm new in my job so on a probationary period. Himself has taken over a week in leave in the last 2 months.

lazygal · 21-08-2013 01:17PM

We have our child with a local minder we got on recommendations from happy parents. She's got years of experience and as soon as I went to her house for an initial chat I was happy. I would go to local parents and child mornings and ask around. I looked into creches too but for a few different reasons the child care option in the minder's home was what we chose and we couldn't be happier with the care she gets.

Our girl hasn't been sick a day since she started. I attribute this partly to the good immune effects of breastfeeding until one and partly to me and my husband, we rarely get coughs/colds ourselves. No matter where you go though, young children will get sick and that's how they'll learn to battle infection.

poconnor16 · 21-08-2013 01:29PM

Thanks lazygal, that's really helpful.
I do accept that he will get sick, I suppose its just how sick he has been in the last 2 months since going to creche.
We need to weigh our options up. It's helpful to hear that you had a positive experience with a minder. I suppose I could look locally as opposed to websites and using ads. Would be better to get recommendations from people. Was it still hard leaving your bub the first few times?

lazygal · 21-08-2013 01:52PM

It was, we did a phasing in period over two weeks, a few hours each day and then built it up to a full day. But she's really come on since going and the interaction with the other children is great for her. I'm also due number two shortly and the minder is so handy to have so close to us rather than having to trek to a creche.

poconnor16 · 21-08-2013 01:57PM

To be fair, our creche is practically next door to us which is sooo handy. Congrats on your good news! Hope you're enjoying a great pregnancy

:)

Rose35 · 21-08-2013 02:02PM

I also started my baby in a creche at 6 months, and it seemed like he just picked up everything that was going, i couldn't tell you the amount of leave i have had to take over the last 6 months as chose to keep him out of creche a couple of times due to illness, coughs, colds, temps. runny nose, etc. my gp said that the first year is the hardest and yes the close proximity with children means he will of course pick up everything that is going unfortunately, so i feel your pain, i since moved him to another creche, due to it being nearer to our home, he took to the change really well thankfully, i would have a creche over a childminder because i feel a creche can offer more activity and learning and would worry that a childminder minding in her own home would be more concerned with doing her housework, that is just my opinion, i have no experience personally of a private childminder.

poconnor16 · 21-08-2013 02:19PM

Thanks Rose35.....sounds awful but I'm glad to know you have felt my pain!
Aside from him being sick, I am comfortable with him being in creche. I love the social aspect of it and he loves the girls up there that care for him.
My concern with the childminder is similar to yours....are they really going to give that level of attention they say? At least in a creche, there is more "visibility". I really am torn. If I knew that this was just something we might be up against for another few months we'd try to stick it out....

pwurple · 21-08-2013 02:25PM

I started mine in creche at 5 months, I felt I had no choice... she was 2 weeks overdue, so I had a month gone of maternity benefit... and only 5 left after she was born.

There are pros and cons to both. Mine is in creche in the mornings and my mum has her in the afternoons. She loves both, but my mum says she always seems to be having loads of fun with the other children in creche, and she worries she is bored with her.

It sounds like they have a sick policy where they send them home when he is sick.

Rose35 · 21-08-2013 02:27PM

I think you should just stick it out, they get stronger and build up an immunity to most of these things over time, I do think creche is a better environment, i know the creche my one year old is in is just fab, they are constantly painting pics!! going for walks, lots of outdoor activities and the list goes on, Im keeping my fingers crossed too that things improve, it's awful to see them sick every couple of weeks, hang in there!!!

Rose35 · 21-08-2013 02:32PM

pwurple wrote: »

I started mine in creche at 5 months, I felt I had no choice... she was 2 weeks overdue, so I had a month gone of maternity benefit... and only 5 left after she was born.

There are pros and cons to both. Mine is in creche in the mornings and my mum has her in the afternoons. She loves both, but my mum says she always seems to be having loads of fun with the other children in creche, and she worries she is bored with her.

It sounds like they have a sick policy where they send them home when he is sick.

I know policy in my creche is high temp they prefer to ring and see if i can pick him up and it is better if he is home anyway if that is the case.
Or if there is more than one bout of diarrhea or vomiting in the day, but they are ok if its just runny nose or cough or if he is on an antibiotic that is ok too.
Maybe I missed that point OP? do they send him home with minor illnesses?

galah · 21-08-2013 02:34PM

we're in the same boat - absolutely zero family members around to help out (closest competent member would be in Germany, and even they say they wouldn't want to mind kids on a permanent basis ;-))

I asked around in our village, and by word of mouth we found our childminder - she's raised half the village it seems, and she's simply brilliant. Am not regretting the choice. Our son is outside a lot, she's teaching him stuff around the house, and there are other kids for him to play with.

That said - he's also picking up a lot of bugs - I think thyey may just do that anyway, no matter in what type of care you have them. Our childminder doesn't mind when he's a bit sniffly or having a runny nappy - she'll only call us home when he's really really sick - that helps a lot! The only drawback is that she takes holidays (the cheek ;-P) - which means that we also have to take the time off at the same time, or arrange for my parents to fly over, for example.

Also, maybe we're lucky, but she's a LLOT cheaper than the local creche, and a lot more flexible (doesnt mind when I'm stuck in traffic and running late, for example).

But it really depends - we are very lucky, other childminders might not be so good. But then again, other creches may also not be great...Ask around to get the best impression.

poconnor16 · 21-08-2013 02:48PM

No they do react well in fairness when he gets sick - my concern was how often he is getting sick. I expect the cough/cold but we've had 2 antibiotics, one week after the other...tonsils and whooping cough. That got me thinking then on where best to send him...
I think you got the point perfectly! I'm a worried mammy lol

Gmol · 21-08-2013 02:54PM

poconnor16 wrote: »

No they do react well in fairness when he gets sick - my concern was how often he is getting sick. I expect the cough/cold but we've had 2 antibiotics, one week after the other...tonsils and whooping cough. That got me thinking then on where best to send him...
I think you got the point perfectly! I'm a worried mammy lol

I would keep them in the crèche simply for the social interaction they get, although it does feel you are handing your pay packet to the pharmacist.
It does make them more robust in our experience, our little lad has missed one day in 2 years now after picking us every disease known to man:)

lazygal · 21-08-2013 02:56PM

I know children who are home with mum all the time who get sick any time they are around other children too, because they mightn't be exposed to a lot of bugs. From my experience, I think some children just pick up everything while others shake them off. I was rarely sick as a child, and my child seems to be similar to me.

21-08-2013 04:48PM

Some kids just pick up everything going. Obviously being in close contact with other children increases the rate of infection but sometimes it's just bad luck.
My son has been home with me for two years but has been attending toddler groups and play centres since he turned one. He's never had more than a cold and never had an antibiotic.
I'm not counting my chickens yet, most kids go through a run of illnesses at some stage.

My best friend's daughter was also at home with her and breastfed exclusively for 15 months. She's been sick with everything going and hospitalised twice. It's the luck of the draw really.
Don't underestimate hand hygiene. We got into the habit of washing our son's hands with soap and water whenever we came home from an outing.

On the immunity, I never attended crèche. I didn't miss a day of school until third class, so maybe my immunity was just good from the start. Personally I think a school age child catching colds and bugs is easier to handle than a young baby, if the "crèche gives immunity" theory is true.

poconnor16 · 22-08-2013 08:43AM

After much discussion we are going to stick it out in crèche. Unless we see some major illness, then we will of course reconsider.
He loves going, being there and has learned so many new skills. He is very settled. I think the pros outweigh the cons.
Thank you to all who gave their 2 cents. It has helped me so much to know that this is all part of babyhood and I am not alone

To creche or not to creche,that is the question!!

Comments