Thursday Funnies

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3.

The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.

Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson; "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'"

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
_________________________________________________________

Making a speech against the proliferation of X-rated videocassettes, the mayoral candidate said,

"I rented one of these cassettes and was shocked to find by my count five acts of oral sex, three of sodomy,
a transsexual making love to a dog, and a woman accommodating five men at once.

If elected, I vow that tapes such as these will no longer befoul our fair community."

He concluded the fiery denunciation by asking, "Are there any questions?"

Five people shouted in unison, "Where did you rent the tape?"

_________________________________________________________


A man walks into a Podiatrist's office and places his penis on the counter.

The nurse exclaims" That 's not a foot!!"...

the man replies quickly... "No ,.. but it's a good 10 inches!!"