Whats the 'worst' pet you have ever had?

A red-rumped parakeet called Noddy.

We adoped him after our incredibly sweet, gentle cockatiel died, because his owner at the time said he was hand-reared and that meant he was tame and comfortable with people.

Except red-rumped parakeets are fúcking psychos to other birds so the only thing keeping people safe from them is their innate fear of humans.

Which hand-rearing removes.

I think you can see where this is going.

The little guy was completely insane; he'd fly in your face and try to eat your eyeballs, all you could to was bat him away as much as you could with your hands. He fell in love with a yellow duster. He'd sit and sing to it for hours on end; if you were foolish enough to actually use the duster for anything, well... Noddy would LOSE HIS TEMPER.

Transcript from post-duster-using Noddy encounter:

"I've finished the dusting , so I'll just put the duster and Mr. Sheen away will I?"
"Yeah, sounds good to me"
"Oh shít, the cage is empty - where the hell is Noddy?"
"I dunno, he's sitting up in the window I think"
*Sound of fast flying from the corner of the room*
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
*Frantic hand-waving to deflect enraged tiny parrot*
*Sound of footsteps fleeing the room*
*Parrot settles down with discarded yellow duster and starts singing love songs to it*

Fortunately we were able to rehome him with a man who has big outdoor aviaries and as far as I know he settled in perfectly.

A ferret. Adopted him from somebody when he was old enough to have developed bad habits. He had never been kept in a cage and was allowed the run of the house with his old owners, so whenever we tried to put him in the big ferret cage we had he would gnaw on the bars and whack himself around like a furry wrecking ball until we let him out. Eventually we decided it was easier to just let him have the run of the place.

He smelled so strongly, you could whiff him as soon as you walked into the house. He scent marked everything. Left lines of pee everywhere he went, like little slug trails.

Sometimes you'd walk into a room and he'd just bound out from under the couch or table and latch onto your ankle or foot. The only way to get him off was to push a pencil against his tongue or put a lemon at his face. I'm not even exaggerating, like we got so used to it that at random points throughout the day one of us would be walking around the house with the ferret hanging from our hands or dragging from our legs, casually searching the presses for a pencil.

He was allowed into the garden (that's where he went for his toilet needs) but he burrowed everywhere. Chewed the back gate so badly we had to replace it, same with the shed door. Bit the neighbour's dog once, when it was foolish enough to poke its nose through a gap in the fence.

Would go missing for hours at a time, only to turn up a while later asleep in the clean clothes.

On the bright side, he would kill any rats or mice that were around in the winter and he could be a real sweetheart when he wasn't playing at being the anti-Christ. But I really think the cons outweighed the pros in this case. He smelled so badly. I know I already said that, but wow. He really stank.