One year old figured out standing in cot - bedtime nightmare!

Mink · 29-07-2013 12:41PM #1

He's just about to turn one and used to be grand going to bed most of the time. Normally could put him down after bedtime routine, then maybe a couple dodie re-insertions (when we'd hear him whinge over the monitor) and he'd go off to sleep himself.

He has just learned to crawl about 2 weeks ago and figured out how to sit and stand up in his cot around the same time. Since then he has gotten worse and worse for putting him down for naps & bedtime. In fact we have scrapped the afternoon nap as it just isn't happening.

You put him down and he immediately wants to stand and throw his dodie out of the cot and then cries if you leave the room. If you stay in the room you could be an hour or more trying to get him to stay lying down and comforting him to sleep. Sometimes he'll just cry at you if you stay in the room.

Last night his eyes were hanging out of his head from tiredness but he just kept trying to stand. Eventually got him to lay still and I sang the one line of a song "Little Donkey" til he went to sleep

.

Don't want to do full on Cry it out method as he starts screaming as soon as you leave the room and we've tried going up to him at 5 min intervals for an hour or two but he just gets hysterical and I don't want to go down that road.

So what I'm asking is, did this happen to anyone else's "good-sleeper" babies and do you have any tricks that worked or did you just stick it out comforting them to sleep til the phase passed. God I hope it's a phase!

I'm a bit unsure if I should be making him lie down.

Luckily he sleeps through so I'm thankful for that.

lazygal · 29-07-2013 01:23PM

Is he in a gro bag type thing? They are a lot harder to stand up in!

I wouldn't leave him until five minutes, I'd think one minute would be the maximum and don't let him get overly upset.

nicowa · 29-07-2013 03:25PM

lazygal wrote: »

Is he in a gro bag type thing? They are a lot harder to stand up in!

I wouldn't leave him until five minutes, I'd think one minute would be the maximum and don't let him get overly upset.

I didn't reply in the cry it out thread, but I agree with lazy gal. The max we let R cry is about a minute.

I know how you feel. When R learned to crawl and turn her naps went bad, and then again when she learned to stand. It's just constantly working at it. I'm sure we'll have it again when she moves to her own bed (rather than a cot).

What we do is bottle, soother, put her down. Leave the room. And if needed, return soother, pat back/put blankets back, leave the room. She's getting the constant attention (with gaps of 30-60 secs) while being told that it is defiantly bedtime and she needs to sleep. Mostly works.

Mink · 29-07-2013 03:57PM

nicowa wrote: »

What we do is bottle, soother, put her down. Leave the room. And if needed, return soother, pat back/put blankets back, leave the room. She's getting the constant attention (with gaps of 30-60 secs) while being told that it is defiantly bedtime and she needs to sleep. Mostly works.

How long on average does it take you to get her down?

Mink · 29-07-2013 03:58PM

lazygal wrote: »

Is he in a gro bag type thing? They are a lot harder to stand up in!

I wouldn't leave him until five minutes, I'd think one minute would be the maximum and don't let him get overly upset.

Yeah five mins feels way too long, I haven't done it often let me tell you.

Funny you should say that re the gro bag, we took him out of it when the heat wave hit as he was far too hot in it (even the 1 tog).

It's cooled down slightly, so might try it again just to see if it helps keep him horizontal

traineeacc · 29-07-2013 05:14PM

We had a week of this when he learned to stand around the 10months mark,we didn't do anything different I think he just got bored and went back to normal! They go through so many phases,he is 1 soon too and started walking this weekend so now we can't keep him entertained during the day wants to run around all the time! Stick with it,the good sleeper will return! It did for us after a week or so

traineeacc · 29-07-2013 05:16PM

Ps-the grobag for us is the night time association,any night we took it off he tossed and turned so much. We put it on in this weather with just vest and nappy,its a 1 tog one

dublinlady · 29-07-2013 09:14PM

traineeacc wrote: »

Ps-the grobag for us is the night time association,any night we took it off he tossed and turned so much. We put it on in this weather with just vest and nappy,its a 1 tog one

Yeah we are just a Nappy & gro bag at the mo - gro bag essential or she just doesn't know it's sleep time!! We just ignored it and it passed - but the gro bag def helps! I'm dreading move to bed...!!

Mink · 30-07-2013 09:10AM

Thanks guys. Stuck the gro bag on him last night but he stood up in it immediately!

Ok, sounds like just need to ride it out. I really hope I haven't gotten him into a habit of needing us in the room to go to sleep, really didn't want that to happen.

Weirdly he's also sleeping less at night (more 10hrs rather than 11/12). He's taking one less nap a day and the nap he does take is only about an hour or less whereas he used to do 2-3hr naps.

He figured out climbing the stairs yesterday and how to pull himself up to standing on something other than the cot. It's all snowballing!

lazygal · 30-07-2013 09:13AM

It sounds like he just wants to practice his new found skills. Our girl started walking at 11 months and there was no stopping her, she went from first steps to running, and became a lot more mobile in her sleep. I'd just try putting him down flat for night time sleeps, you might have to go in 20 times but eventually I'd say he'll get the message that its time for sleep.

Our girl only does one daytime nap of 1 hour max these days, she might sleep a bit more if we're in the car and she's warm, but at home/in minder, we don't have huge naps.

galah · 30-07-2013 09:31AM

oh god, this read like it was us!

E would do exactly the same (but hop on top of that once he had that figured out). He still does, and he's almost 2...
I think one important thing you should teach him/her is how to sit down by himself, safely (and not let himself fall backwards etc). Eventually they'll be tired from the standing and hopping, and go to sleep ;-)

Regarding the shouting (it's not crying, I think there's a difference - crying I'd classify as distress when they're sick etc, shouting is more when they look for attention), we would let him shout for 5 minutes, go in, lie him down, say 'night night' and rinse and repeat every 5 minutes. The first two days we played this game for roughly 2 hours (and it was soooo hard, believe me). But then he learned - he learned we would come back if he really needed us, and he also learned it was futile to keep it up, cause we would win in the end (purely because he'd fall asleep eventually). But again, I'd like to stress that our child is usually shouting, he's not crying. When he actually cries, we respond immediately, every time.

Rather check on them once too often than not enough though...

lazygal · 30-07-2013 09:34AM

You definitely need to differentiate between attention seeking and being upset. If she has a sniffle or isn't in great form she'll get extra cuddles, but if she's just fake crying and then laughing when we go in, all she gets is put back down flat and a pat to indicate its time for sleep.

silly · 30-07-2013 10:08AM

I would go in a put him lying down, without talking......not one word. (thats what supernanny says...)
Also, a mobile or some sort of thing that you can project lights onto the ceiling with music etc?

Mink · 30-07-2013 11:18AM

Someone above mentioned teaching them to get back down from standing, yes must do that as I've never seen him actually sit back down so he might be getting upset as he doesn't know how to do it.

lazygal wrote: »

You definitely need to differentiate between attention seeking and being upset. If she has a sniffle or isn't in great form she'll get extra cuddles, but if she's just fake crying and then laughing when we go in, all she gets is put back down flat and a pat to indicate its time for sleep.

The odd time we've ran up to him hearing him cry and he smiles and laughs at us (a naughty little laugh) when we come in. Past few days though he goes straight to real crying if we so much as look at the door to leave, so we've to stay with him for now.

Mind you he did this for a week when we moved house when he was 9 months (wouldn't let us leave the room) and he did gradually come out of it again. Just the standing throws a spanner in there.

silly wrote: »

I would go in a put him lying down, without talking......not one word. (thats what supernanny says...)
Also, a mobile or some sort of thing that you can project lights onto the ceiling with music etc?

We tried the no talking, but we are sporadic at best. Probably need to look up what she says and give it a go.
We do have a light projection thingy. We took it off his cot months ago as he was messing with it and it seemed to be keeping him up. Might try it tonight though to see does it help keep him lying down and get sleepier faster.
Silly where'd you get the supernanny info? Was it on a TV show or online?

kildareash · 30-07-2013 11:54AM

Do you have a walkie/talkie option on the monitor?

I only used it for the first time last week, she was practically asleep, but a few seconds after I left the room she would cry. Just 'ssshhhed' like I normally would over the monitor (thought it would scare the bejaysus out of her to be honest, as we had never used it before) but only needed to do it twice and she was back down for the rest of the night.

We had to take the projection light off the mobile too for the same reason, but the music on it works sometimes.

Mink · 30-07-2013 12:21PM

No walkie/talkie option on it, wish I had that actually as I know my sis had it with her little one and it worked well.

Yeah the mobile I have, you can't just have the music on, it has to have either the projector lights with it or these crazy bright disco lights coming out the front. Might see if can find some soft music to play on a cd

silly · 30-07-2013 02:43PM

Mink wrote: »

Silly where'd you get the supernanny info? Was it on a TV show or online?

From the TV Show. Used to watch it alot with my daughter.

but found this link that might help:
http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice.aspx

Kurumba · 31-07-2013 09:52AM

I could have written this post myself Mink, word for word!

Little man is about to turn 1, was always a great sleeper but for the past couple of weeks he has been getting seriously upset when i put him into his cot. He's not just shouting, he's properly crying with tears streaming down his face. He's not a real cry baby so i know he's genuinely upset.

Because i work full time and my husband works for himself so it can be all hours sometimes when he comes in, it can be quite hard to get a routine going.
But the past week i've started giving him his last bottle in the rocking chair beside the cot and just chatting to him and not making too much of a thing of it when he cries. He's smiling in between the screams so I know he's not in pain. The eyes can be hanging out of his head and he eventually starts dosing off in my arms.
I'm trying to put him in the cot before he actually falls asleep but for now i'm just happy that he's willing to go asleep in the room without too much of a battle!
He will wake during the night for dody re-inserts but we're down to once or twice a night, where last week it was 5 or 6 times.
When I check on him I can find him asleep in all sorts of positions, even sitting up in the corner of the cot once last week!
I think it's all a phase since they're finding out all these new skills so try so just stick to the routine I reckon.

Sorry i have no advice for you but you are certainly not alone! It seems to be a common occurrence of babies this age from what i hear.
Best of luck with it!

Mink · 31-07-2013 10:20AM

Kurumba wrote: »

I could have written this post myself Mink, word for word!

Little man is about to turn 1, was always a great sleeper but for the past couple of weeks he has been getting seriously upset when i put him into his cot. He's not just shouting, he's properly crying with tears streaming down his face. He's not a real cry baby so i know he's genuinely upset.

Because i work full time and my husband works for himself so it can be all hours sometimes when he comes in, it can be quite hard to get a routine going.
But the past week i've started giving him his last bottle in the rocking chair beside the cot and just chatting to him and not making too much of a thing of it when he cries. He's smiling in between the screams so I know he's not in pain. The eyes can be hanging out of his head and he eventually starts dosing off in my arms.
I'm trying to put him in the cot before he actually falls asleep but for now i'm just happy that he's willing to go asleep in the room without too much of a battle!
He will wake during the night for dody re-inserts but we're down to once or twice a night, where last week it was 5 or 6 times.
When I check on him I can find him asleep in all sorts of positions, even sitting up in the corner of the cot once last week!
I think it's all a phase since they're finding out all these new skills so try so just stick to the routine I reckon.

Sorry i have no advice for you but you are certainly not alone! It seems to be a common occurrence of babies this age from what i hear.
Best of luck with it!

Haha re baby asleep sitting up in cot!
Yeah my guy is the same, as soon as you put the gro bag on him and walk towards his bedroom he starts crying.

Definitely seems to be a phase, yesterday he slept 2.5 hr nap for the mil so that was a change. I was only 10 minutes getting him down last night which was a miracle.

When I put him in the cot, he started roaring so I played with him and did various things to make him laugh and chill him out.
I let him stand a few times and showed him how to sit back down (as I think someone suggested it above). He only did this maybe 3 or 4 times. Then he actually started to settle himself in the cot, ie; lying down and looking sleepy. I left the room and he started crying a minute later, went into him & re-settled. But the funny thing is he lay down himself, like he knew it was lying down time, so I think us repeatedly laying him down before helped get the message across.
Repeated this 3 or 4 times and I was able to leave the room and he was fine and went off to sleep himself. And no renditions of Little Donkey!
Delighted, just hope it continues.

Kurumba · 31-07-2013 10:40AM

Ah that's great, glad it's turning around for you. Persistence seems to be the key alright. It's tiring though I know!

I might have to try putting him in the cot instead of dozing in my arms. I could be opening up a new can of worms by doing this and allowing him to settle in my arms but he really loses all reason when i put him straight in.
Like your fella, he starts crying as we are walking into the room and nothing i do can reverse the tears if i put him in the cot. He's actually distraught!
Am hoping he'll just get used to it and I can gradually start putting him down in the cot to settle sooner.
This little Donkey you speak of, is it the little donkey on the dusty road or is there another magic song i can try him with tonight

silly · 31-07-2013 10:56AM

Kurumba wrote: »

When I check on him I can find him asleep in all sorts of positions, even sitting up in the corner of the cot once last week!
!

ha ha, i have found my 12 m old in that position twice in the last 2 weeks.
dodo in mouth and propped up like a teddy bear in the corner of the cot - or leaning forward, like he is folded in half, sound asleep.

Rachineire · 31-07-2013 02:34PM

My 7 month old has started crawling and pulling himself up and jumping up and down in his cot when trying to put him down. I do the super nanny method, first time putting him down for bed, cuddle kiss good night ect. First time I go in I say it's time to sleep, lay him back down and leave. Any subsequent times I just go back in and lay him back down. It usually only takes going in 5-6 times and he stays down. He gets the idea that this is time to sleep. (I especially know this as it doesn't work at all for day time naps haha!!)

Dacelonid · 31-07-2013 02:42PM

I wouldn't normally reply in this forum, but when I saw the thread title on the landing page I had to pop in and have a look.

Our 2 year old was the exact same when she was around the same age. She would throw the soother out of the cot and cry and cry and cry until we came up the stairs. As soon as we walked into the room she would laugh at us. It even progressed to her hiding the soother down her top, down the side of the cot that was pushed up against the wall, under her pillow, basically anywhere she could to make a fool out of Mammy and Daddy.

As I remember, we started to pick up the soother, and take it out of the room. She would cry a bit, then we would bring it back and tell her that what she was doing was wrong and if she did it again we would take the soother again. It took a while but she eventually got the message and it stopped.

Xidu · 31-07-2013 03:00PM

I tried a way n it worked to my son. They r beginning to understand now, it's called leaving anxiety. Try to put him in cot n say good nite n leave for 3 minus, back in room comfort him n stay for 3 minus, leave again for 6 minus, back for 6 minus...it normally takes 1 wk.

Mink · 04-08-2013 01:29AM

Karumba - yes it's the dusty road donkey. I literally only know the one line and apparently I sing it wrong per my husband.

Well the next night we were nearly 3hrs trying to get him down. Now it's more 30-40 mins. He is settling much faster but can't leave the room. So it's good and bad.

Will leave it another week before deciding if its still a phase or permanent as we are going away next weekend for a week and god only knows what that will do to his sleep!

mlumley · 04-08-2013 01:42AM

When my children were small, I'd take them out in the car, or walk in the buggie. Let the fresh air get to them. Then take them home, put them to bed, and softly stroke their face and head, just one or two fingers. Might take a while. But, never failed. Good luck, and remember, you'll laugh about it next year. Hopefully.

Mink · 08-08-2013 11:52AM

Just an update - we cracked the back of it.

Since I last posted it had gotten way worse. The following night we were nearly 3 hrs getting him down. Then sat and sun night he woke at 11.30 and couldn't get him back to sleep til 2:30, despite bottles and just about every trick in the bag. 80-90% of those 4 hrs I spent standing in his room in the dark waiting for him to settle, sneaking out when he dropped off and then him waking when Ivor to the door. Nightmare.

So after much research and talk with the OH we decided to do the super nanny technique - controlled crying. I know that this is a very debated issue but we felt it would work for us and quickly, particularly as he HAD been settling himself to sleep up until a month ago.

So night one was hard, there were tears! We went into him after 2 mins, 4, 5, 8, 10 and then two mins into the next 10 he went to sleep and slept the night. When all said and done it was 40 mins. He then did a 3 hr nap the next day!

The second night we went into him after 2 mins and he fell dead asleep a minute later, slept through mostly. He woke during his usual witching hour but no crying, just chatting. Went into him twice to make sure he was okay and he went off himself.

Last night was 4 minutes, woke and got himself back in a minute. Then 5 mins to go to sleep for nap today - just a few whinges, shouts and settled when I went into him.

It's not for everyone but I feel it was the right thing as he got back to being able to settle himself. He is much happier now during day as he's getting good sleep.

Just wanted to share in case someone else going through similar with a baby who used to settle. The key is research and really making sure nothing else wrong like not sick, not teething, they are tired enough, well fed etc.

galah · 08-08-2013 12:05PM

Mink wrote: »

Just an update - we cracked the back of it.

Since I last posted it had gotten way worse. The following night we were nearly 3 hrs getting him down. Then sat and sun night he woke at 11.30 and couldn't get him back to sleep til 2:30, despite bottles and just about every trick in the bag. 80-90% of those 4 hrs I spent standing in his room in the dark waiting for him to settle, sneaking out when he dropped off and then him waking when Ivor to the door. Nightmare.

.

THIS is defo a prob (or was for us before we started the controlled shouting - they KNOW that you were still there, and they will sense when you leave and kick off again...

But as long as you make sure they know you will come to them when they really need you, I think you're grand. They're not distressed, they are just pushing boundaries

And I personally think it's good for them to be able to settle themselves, it gives you more flexibility (should you ever want it) and they defo get a better nights rest....

Kurumba · 12-08-2013 03:54PM

That's great news Mink, seems like it has worked for you. Glad you sorted it out.

We were doing great with the new routine but we had people over on saturday night and since then it's all gone belly up.

Last night it took until 10.30pm to get him asleep and woke hysterical at 4am. No settling him.
I wonder with the controlled crying, it's something i would be willing to try but I don't really know how to because if he decides it's going to be 'one of those nights' , then he actually gets quite hysterical when i leave him in the cot. He starts getting short of breath from the crying and seems genuinely distressed. It doesn't build up to that, he actually starts off that way so I don't think i could leave him like that for 3 minutes or whatever it takes.

Back to the routine tonight and hope it works!

One year old figured out standing in cot - bedtime nightmare!

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