help

I was abused when I was small, that person is dead now, but it has left such an awful mess.
Trying to come to terms with what happened and the aftermath, I am finding it very difficult at the moment, I feel quite alone. I am 25, female, Ive never had a boyfriend and am unable to be intimate with a man, emotionally or otherwise.
I am trying my best to move on with my life, I have been working, starting a new course soon, and hoping and trying to make things work for myself, but sometimes it can be such an awful struggle, I am just having a bad few days at the moment. I have lovely friends in my life, and love my family, I have a lot of good things going, but this is such a private thing, it seems like such a hurdle to get over. My friends are moving on and having fun, seeing boys/girls, having relationships, seeing different people, it's fun and lighthearted, and I feel just utterly stuck.
I have lost so many years that I cant get back, my childhood, late teens and early 20's I feel like they have just been struck off the map because of the pain this abuse has caused me. I have spent the last 7 years working in an entry level job because I was unable to get a degree due to on and off depression in relation to the whole thing. I am much better now, and I'm hoping when I go back to study I'll achieve it this time, but sometimes I just get so sad about the loss of all of this time, a lot of things that could have been, all these years that have been taken from me. I feel much older than I actually am. Sometimes I look at my life and I cant believe that this has happened to me, I am just so sad, so sad.