Destroying my phone

MadPatrick · 07-04-2013 10:48AM #1

I hate my Samsung Nexus S, a viscous hatred that seeps into my bones. So I'm getting a new one after 22 months of bullspit. It's the only source of stress in my life. It's painfully slow, I get error messages asking if I want to close the app or wait, I wait because I know it's coming. When my alarm goes off and I pick up the phone to snooze just before I press snooze the screen flips 90 degrees and the snooze button goes where the dismiss button was and vice versa.

I was planning on using my old phone till it upset me and then either flake it a the ground with all my force, or indeed just snapping the fucker, at least trying.

But there must be a better way, there's gotta be something that will give me the satisfaction of destroying the damn thing while also being more devastating than just breaking it. What say you??

Problem123456 · 07-04-2013 10:50AM

Give to me?
My phone fell into the toilet

PogMoThoin · 07-04-2013 10:50AM

MadPatrick wrote: »

I hate my Samsung Nexus S, a viscous hatred that seeps into my bones. So I'm getting a new one after 22 months of bullspit. It's the only source of stress in my life. It's painfully slow, I get error messages asking if I want to close the app or wait, I wait because I know it's coming. When my alarm goes off and I pick up the phone to snooze just before I press snooze the screen flips 90 degrees and the snooze button goes where the dismiss button was and vice versa.

I was planning on using my old phone till it upset me and then either flake it a the ground with all my force, or indeed just snapping the fucker, at least trying.

But there must be a better way, there's gotta be something that will give me the satisfaction of destroying the damn thing while also being more devastating than just breaking it. What say you??

Calm down, just do a factory reset. Android slows and gets buggy over time just like windows. A factory reset and it will be like new.

Matt Simis · 07-04-2013 10:54AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBpyEJ9Y5sE

krudler · 07-04-2013 11:24AM

you know you can lock the screen rotation so it doesnt flip right? and if your apps are slow either do a reset or clear a bunch out you could be low on memory, having a million of them open at once will slow everything down as well, closing an app doesnt fully close it it just puts it in the background unless you wipe all your open apps.

--LOS-- · 07-04-2013 11:37AM

sounds like a case of a bad workman and his tools

just delete some stuff off your phone and turn off auto-rotate. Bam! brand new phone

irish bloke · 07-04-2013 11:39AM

MadPatrick wrote: »

It's the only source of stress in my life.

I wish mine was the only source of stress in my life.

Peregrine · 07-04-2013 11:46AM

I'd like to know the results :cool:

Edit: Oops didn't see Matt's post

Ruu · 07-04-2013 11:48AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4HqI1s8Xgs

Truncheon Rouge · 07-04-2013 11:50AM

This thread makes me think of windows 8.

Peregrine · 07-04-2013 11:51AM

Truncheon Rouge wrote: »

This thread makes me think of windows 8.

Ah just get rid of Metro and it's graaandd

damagegt · 07-04-2013 11:54AM

Connect it to a weather balloon and send it flying.

Hamiltonion · 07-04-2013 12:17PM

Shoulda bought an iPhone;)

jimthemental · 07-04-2013 01:25PM

Dig a hole in your garage then put the phone in a safe and bury the safe in the hole. Then you move house and watch hilarity ensue.

Ishmael · 07-04-2013 01:58PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DHCd-M4258

MadPatrick · 08-04-2013 07:27AM

No, the thing's fucked. I get all the latest updates, deleted all my pics and most of the apps and still no change. It drops calls and shits itself every couple of days so I have to restart it. I don't live in a cave away from civilisation so I got told all the solutions suggested here.
I got my Galaxy 2 today so I might take a hammer to it. I don't have a blender

Ando's Saggy Bottom · 08-04-2013 07:31AM

You seem like an in appropriately angry man OP.

gavindublin · 08-04-2013 07:32AM

Strap a banger to it and stick it up a cat's... Aw sorry wrong day

demanufactured · 08-04-2013 07:37AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DbUPjEbIvA&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Op is this you??

recyclebin · 08-04-2013 08:21AM

Complete factory reset?

MadPatrick · 08-04-2013 09:34AM

Not a complete factory reset. My bad.

I really don't see how a factory reset will destroy it though

paulbok · 08-04-2013 12:59PM

Bring a fold up chair with you, drop the phone in the middle of O'Connell St, Shout out at the top of your voice that there's a big wrap of heroin inside it. Now sit back and enjoy your own remake of "Dawn of The Dead" as all the nearby junkies tear it apart to feast on the supposed goodness inside.
If you've gotten your new phone by then, record it.