Embarrassing dad stories

phelixoflaherty · 08-12-2012 11:54AM

Top notch concert.
Ron Sexsmith played too

vicwatson · 08-12-2012 12:03PM

castletownman wrote: »

My sixty year old father is currently trying to pull off the leather jacket look some thirty years too late. Insists on wearing it everywhere in public. Fecking mid-life crises!

Mid life at 60?. Wtf

Skerries · 08-12-2012 12:12PM

ah sure death is the new 60's

vicwatson · 08-12-2012 12:18PM

This thread has made me laugh, cry & laugh with tears.

Brilliant boardsies well done. Some comments are just too funny.

Super thread op.

Drakares · 08-12-2012 12:32PM

My dad is as racist as they come. He comes from a generation where it's borderline forgivable.

He actually has no problem with black people and he's never say something directly to one, but he can't help but make a comment on one he sees crossing the road.

He calls them "spades" as in the black ace of spades in a cards deck.

One day while driving, some black dude was on his way somewhere, and my dad goes "Look at the fúckin' spade on his way down to the dole office!" - While my black buddy was in the car with us.. It was cringeworthy to say the least.

bluecode · 08-12-2012 12:54PM

My Father is dead 21 years now. So I missed out on a lot of potentially embarrassing situations with him.

I can only remember a few. One day he decided he must teach me how to cross the road properly despite the fact that both my Mother and the school had drummed it into us. He dragged me to the side of the road and gave me the whole, look left, look right lecture. At this point he decided to demonstrate what not to do and spying our neighbour Mr Wylie coming around the corner in his car. He leapt out in front of it. The look of horror on Mr Wylie's face as he screeched to halt remains with me. I was mortified! Mr Wylie was traumatised. To be fair, I've never deliberately jumped in front of cars since!

But I'm a Father myself now with two boys. So I'm sure I'll embarrass them regularly from now on. But you'll have to wait for their stories.

anncoates · 08-12-2012 01:02PM

It's great fun embarrassing your kids. The more they get mortified, the funnier it is.

Ruski · 08-12-2012 01:07PM

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Twas my 11th or 12th birthday and my dad brought myself and a few of my mates to the cinema to see Groundhog Day. My dad regularly gets names of things and people confused sooff he went up to the ticket office and asked for 5 tickets to "Hedgehog Dog". Scarlet so I wuz back then but now it makes me smile and warms the cockles of my heart. Where did he pull that one out of!

Wouldn't be as bad as when my dad ordered "cock porn" at the cinema lobby.

lukesmom · 08-12-2012 01:12PM

Mam sent us to buy a top my brother wanted for Christmas and dad asked the sales assistant for a 'Tommy Hiflyer' top

castletownman · 08-12-2012 02:03PM

sheikhnguyen wrote: »

He's having his mid-life at 60? Do us all a favour and ask him what his secret is.

Actually yeah. He's having that twenty years too late too

pappyodaniel · 08-12-2012 02:06PM

kraggy wrote: »

Sorry to tell you, but it was a great day. Pissed rain but a special memory in my own life. Had just finished the Leaving and saw what are still one of my favourite bands just as they were getting really big with The Bends.

Neneh Cherry (remember her?) and the Bluetones also played and can't remember who else.

Great day.

No worries, I actually made it and I still remember it very well. They also played Lucky from the as yet unreleased OK Computer which was a great taster.

I'm pretty sure The Cardigans and The Divine Comedy also took to the stage that day. Plenty of rain as well but in fairness, it was in Galway!

I took great satisfaction in telling my dad a few years later of how I sneaked off to Galway one morning and returned late that night and they were none the wiser.

All because I wanted to see RADIOMAN.

NoQuarter · 08-12-2012 02:18PM

MY dad had an old banger Honda 50 years ago to get him around etc... One day I walked out from school (6th class) and there he was waiting for me. I was distraught!

Now I'd find it great craic to have a go on one of those things!!

bigneacy · 08-12-2012 02:25PM

dttq wrote: »

One of my own most embarrassing was at a gathering involving friends and relatives.

fasttalkerchat · 08-12-2012 02:29PM

lukesmom wrote: »

Mam sent us to buy a top my brother wanted for Christmas and dad asked the sales assistant for a 'Tommy Hiflyer' top

My girlfriend remarked that Tommy Hillfinger is a strange brand name.

emer_b · 08-12-2012 03:03PM

My dad made it his mission in life to embarrass us as kids. One of his party pieces at weddings was to dance on tables with his trousers rolled up to his knees. He doesn't even drink!!!
He did it again at my wedding a few years ago for old times sake, loads of people joined in

When going on the annual school tour in primary school he would wait with the other parents at the bus to wave us off. Just as we were leaving he would pull out a big hankie and start "pretend" crying to see us go while following the bus waving the hankie!!! All the kids on the bus "oh your dads so funny ha ha". Me, bright red, mortified.

cantdecide · 08-12-2012 03:46PM

Whenever my dad meets anyone German or with any connection to Germany, you know it's only a matter of time before words like Jew or Gas will come along.

I'm 31 and he still mortifies me as much as possible and loves EVERY SECOND OF IT!!

Canard · 08-12-2012 04:52PM

God, I could write books on my dad.

Some that come to mind are how he sometimes mixes words together for no real reason and it's usually of no consequence, e.g. "I'm off to the doctor shmocters". Sometimes, though, he says things like "shooby boobies" in front of my friends. :pac:

Not even embarrassing as such, but one time me and my sister laughed at him because his texts sound so monotone with no smilies in them. The next day he sent us some random text like "be home soon" and then it was like

:):):):):P:P:P:P:):P hahaha.

MitchKoobski · 08-12-2012 05:48PM

All the families on my street moved in around the same time, so they've all been friends ever since. They've taken to shouting abuse at each other for the craic whenever they run into each other in the neighbourhood. Always gets a laugh and some weird looks from people driving by that are new to the area.

My dad has always made attempts to have a conversation with anyone he thinks he recognises or even stands next to somewhere. Majority of the time he's right and does know them, other times it's just the typical Irish thing of talking shiet with someone you don't even know.

One day he was giving me a lift home from school and starts to pull the car in towards the side of the road and shouts "Hey scumbag!" to the guy on the footpath. I have no idea who this guy is and assume it's one of dad's friends. Dad proceeds to have a 10 minute conversation about the school, the guy's parents and kids and how they're getting on these days etc. All at the side of the road outside someones house. Then the guy eventually turns and goes into the house. Dad drives off.
Me: "Who was that?"
Dad: "I have no fukking idea. I thought it was Charlie from down the road but it by the time I realised I couldn't pull the car out straight away."

He's done this at least 4 times since.

DazMarz · 08-12-2012 07:01PM

One time watching the Gold Cup race with the father, and he had a wedge on some horse (ended up winning it, can't remember the name) but it only won by a nose. The whole last 30 seconds of the race consisted of:

"Come on, you fúcking bitch! Get up there! Come on, t'fúck! Get in there, you fúcking bitch! Come on! Up-aaah! Come on, you fúck..." ad nauseum. Anyone walking past the house... god knows what they thought was happening. Also the mad, ballistic roar when the horse won.

Another time, he was watching a race and looking the newspaper. My mother was talking to him, but he's not paying a blind bit of attention. At a suitable point, just after she asked him a question, he mumbles "You fúcking bitch" at the television. That was an interesting evening...

Brendog · 08-12-2012 08:16PM

brought my girlfriend home to meet the parents around this time 3 years ago. unfortunately they had a few drinks and were fairly drunk.
first thing my dad said was "jesus, you must be freezing. come I'll put your head in the microwave and heat you up."

Thank god she could take a joke!

morton · 08-12-2012 11:27PM

Back in the 1980's, my dad went to the chemist to buy some Rubex tablets-
the vitamin tablet you dissolve in water and drink.

Back then, condoms were only beginning to be openly sold in chemists and were on display. When my dad walked in, there was a display of durex condoms on the counter in front of him. The chemist approached him and asked him what he wanted.

Surprised by the open display of condoms in front of him, my dad said " yeah I want a packet of durex " ( he meant to say 'tube of Rubex ). The chemist replied "yes, which type " . My dad replied ' you know the orange flavoured ones you plop into water and they go fizzy'.......

bluecode · 09-12-2012 12:03AM

Thought of another one but not so much embarrassing as typical. My sis discovered that you could cover the 'clothes horse' with a blanket and make a tent. She decided to sleep out in the garden under the 'tent' overnight. I was dragged in as big brother to protect her, much to my disgust. After a few very uncomfortable minutes something hit the tent. Then another and another. Delighted I suggest we beat a retreat to the house. But my sister wasn't fooled and said 'It's only Daddy'.

And it was. He was trying to scare her into the house but it was a waste of time as she was just like him. But he really had a soft spot for her.

He was lurking in the back lane lobbing stones at us. At some point a woman walking a dog came around the back lane and loudly said 'What's going on here' much to our amusement. Here was a man acting suspiciously in the middle of the night in a back lane in Dublin. Typical Dad it ended up with a long conversation covering a range of topics.

In the end they parted the best of friends. Eventually he came into the garden and said 'Come on, time for bed'. Was I ever relieved. Never was a bed so comfortable. My sis protested but years later she told me she was relieved.

It's a fond memory.

morton · 09-12-2012 12:21AM

I've another one too.

Any time my dad was driving me and my sister in the car, and he saw a garda walking on the street, he would stick his two fingers up at the garda.

Now he would only do it when the garda couldn't see him (the garda would be in front with their back to us)and the windows would be closed in the car. Now picture 2 kids on the back seat of the car screaming at our dad to stop because we thought we'd get arrested for what he was doing, and my dad sticking his 2 fingers up, shouting "Hiya garda, I've 2 little girls in the car with me, 2 little girls". He thought it was so funny. We were dying on the back seat.

Poutbutton · 09-12-2012 12:49AM

My Dad used to do an Incredible Hulk impression every time my friends called at the door. The impression was quite good except he kind of mixed it with a bit of The Hunchback of Notre Dame....so he plain & simple looked nuts and stomped around like a gorilla! Once he did it while my mates were waiting on me to come out and he had his eyes closed making this weird face when my school headmaster walked up the drive to give me a prize for fundraising....he found it funny I was mortified. Did I mention my Dad did this until I was at least 17? It's a fond memory now

UglyBolloxFace · 09-12-2012 12:58AM

westendgirlie wrote: »

You know what, bowing out of this thread. Lighthearted and exaggerated story from me and my dad isn't and does not deserve to be called a ****.

C'mon..what did you expect? What your father did was, in all accounts, cuntish. Not calling him a cunt, merely pointing out that what he did is typical of what a cunt would do.

The Royal Scam · 09-12-2012 01:01AM

cantdecide wrote: »

Whenever my dad meets anyone German or with any connection to Germany, you know it's only a matter of time before words like Jew or Gas will come along.

I'm 31 and he still mortifies me as much as possible and loves EVERY SECOND OF IT!!

We used to drive around europe on holidays when I was a kid. Everytime you had to deal with officialdom at the german border he would be muttering into us in the back "Don't mention the war!".
it was'nt at all funny when he used to príck around going over the border up the north though. we got the car searched twice because of his muttering and messing going through the checkpoints

UglyBolloxFace · 09-12-2012 01:06AM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

My father was the best example of a parent I could ever find, he financially supported me true every stage of my education and life. I couldn't think of an embarrassing story to tell. I still love to hang out with my dad and listen to the likes Zeppelin, Stones and The Who with slabs of G and youtube

I love my mother also but not her early carry on, I don't respect a person who beats a child to unconscious and then buys them a toy to make sure they don't tell Daddy that they went to be hospital.

http://images.wikia.com/adventuretimewithfinnandjake/images/2/24/Boy-that-escalated-quickly_zps178aa246.jpg

superblu · 09-12-2012 01:07AM

I was playing under 12 rugby and my owld lad took it upon himself to come on at half time and give the team talk.

ToddyDoody · 09-12-2012 01:20AM

Quote my friend "the jokes are funny because they are SO bad"

4zn76tysfajdxp · 09-12-2012 01:23AM

I heard once that during an under fifteen Gaelic football match between my village and our neighbouring village, one kid's dad went into the opposition team's dressing room at half time to confront someone on their team who had been a particularly rough tackler. It quickly turned physically violent and the younger lad ended up kicking the shit into the older fella.

I'd be very embarrassed if that happened to my dad, even if it had ended with him giving out to the kid, never mind him being beaten up by a fourteen year old.

Embarrassing dad stories

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