Powers & Irish Times Short Story Comp

D-FENS · 05-06-2012 08:14AM

This was my entry. As you'll read, I opted to try and follow the cheesy, feel good style of last year's winner and shameless product placement. I'm pretty embarrassed by how it reads now but it's the first bit of writing I’ve done this year so I’m grateful to the competition for encouraging that in me.
Be gentle people

(I didn't title it either)

Chris could hardly believe he had gotten the part as he thanked the director again and left the theatre, the feeling of surprise then followed by relief and happiness. After more than a year of trying, he was finally an employed actor.
As he walked towards Dame Street, arranging by text to meet a friend in a pub to celebrate, he thought of all the failed auditions since finishing drama school. His parents had never shown much interest in what he did. Although he was grateful they had left him to it, he also wished they had encouraged him
However, his opinionated friend Ronan the banker had laughed at his career choice and later suggested that Chris give up what he called a pipe dream. “It’s time to face up to the real world and get a proper job. How much money do you think you can make acting anyway? You would have to be really good at it”.
Chris remembered this as he entered the busy pub and spotted his smug friend, holding court at the bar with some equally loud colleagues from work,
“Ah, here’s the thespian now!” Ronan said sarcastically, with approving laughter from the group. “So, the road to the Oscars starts here”
“Hello, Ronan…Folks” Chris nodded “Well it’s just a start but it’s a part in a play from a really good Irish playwright ...”
Ronan cut him off as he shoved a drink in his hand. “Never really into the theatre, Chris, you know that. Anyway, got you a drink, thought you’d want a Powers, since it’s a celebration. Although seeing you standing there with a whisky and that scarf, I can’t decide if you look like an actor or my Grandfather”.
More snickering from the work crew, but Chris ignored them as the comment seemed to rouse him. He finished his drink, left twenty euros on the bar and excused himself quickly
“Sorry Ronan but I just remembered I have to be somewhere, get the next one on me and have fun, yeah?”
‘Don’t tell me, you’ve realised you’ll have to start rehearsing straight away…” Chris did not hear the rest as he quickly left the pub.
He made his way across town by bus and an hour later walked into his surprised Grandfather’s room at his nursing home, carrying a bottle of Powers.
“Hi Grandad, do you remember you once told me to decide what to be and go be it? Well I did. And I wanted to come tell you all about it”
The elderly man smiled as he stood up to get two glasses.

echo beach · 05-06-2012 11:04AM

D-FENS wrote: »

This was my entry. As you'll read, I opted to try and follow the cheesy, feel good style of last year's winner and shameless product placement. I'm pretty embarrassed by how it reads now but it's the first bit of writing I’ve done this year so I’m grateful to the competition for encouraging that in me.
Be gentle people

As you said it is a tad on the cheesy side and it might have been more realistic if his 'friends' engaged in good-natured slagging rather than open ridicule but there is a good story there. Work at it again without the word count hanging over you and I'd say you'll produce something worthwhile from it.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 05-06-2012 11:15AM

I thought the real challenge in this competition was trying to come up with a complete story, that would hold the readers' interest, in just 450 words. That is very different to simply writing a couple of beautiful paragraphs of prose, which is really what the winning entry is. Therefore I don't think it actually rose to the specific challenge of this kind of competition.

I suspect the writer realised this herself but, instead of reworking the piece to add an extra layer that would turn it into a story, she simply took the easy option and tagged on a clunky last line to try and put some definition on the piece.

In a competition with such a large prize and impressive number of entries, I really don't think the judges should have let her away with this.
Not knocking her talent as a writer, but I just don't think her piece met the criteria for this specific competition.
Call it begrudgery if you like, but that's my honest opinion.

anngee · 05-06-2012 12:08PM

I liked your story D-FENS! It's not unlike my entry which also celebrated with a wee dram at the end. Feels kind of corny now having read the winning entry. I loved her description of the rain on windscreen - totally evoked memories for me and it won on that alone.
Btw does anyone know how I can get hold of long list? Emailed Irish Times to no avail.
Keep the faith D-FENS!

angaryaintjust · 05-06-2012 12:10PM

echo beach wrote: »

As you said it is a tad on the cheesy side and it might have been more realistic if his 'friends' engaged in good-natured slagging rather than open ridicule but there is a good story there. Work at it again without the word count hanging over you and I'd say you'll produce something worthwhile from it.

Yeah! I thought so too D-fens (loving the falling down reference btw) but the character Ronan is very agressive. Is he angry or jealous the protagonist is doing something towards his dream?

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 05-06-2012 12:15PM

D-FENS wrote: »

This was my entry. As you'll read, I opted to try and follow the cheesy, feel good style of last year's winner and shameless product placement. I'm pretty embarrassed by how it reads now but it's the first bit of writing I’ve done this year so I’m grateful to the competition for encouraging that in me.
Be gentle people

(I didn't title it either)

Chris could hardly believe he had gotten the part as he thanked the director again and left the theatre, the feeling of surprise then followed by relief and happiness. After more than a year of trying, he was finally an employed actor.
As he walked towards Dame Street, arranging by text to meet a friend in a pub to celebrate, he thought of all the failed auditions since finishing drama school. His parents had never shown much interest in what he did. Although he was grateful they had left him to it, he also wished they had encouraged him
However, his opinionated friend Ronan the banker had laughed at his career choice and later suggested that Chris give up what he called a pipe dream. “It’s time to face up to the real world and get a proper job. How much money do you think you can make acting anyway? You would have to be really good at it”.
Chris remembered this as he entered the busy pub and spotted his smug friend, holding court at the bar with some equally loud colleagues from work,
“Ah, here’s the thespian now!” Ronan said sarcastically, with approving laughter from the group. “So, the road to the Oscars starts here”
“Hello, Ronan…Folks” Chris nodded “Well it’s just a start but it’s a part in a play from a really good Irish playwright ...”
Ronan cut him off as he shoved a drink in his hand. “Never really into the theatre, Chris, you know that. Anyway, got you a drink, thought you’d want a Powers, since it’s a celebration. Although seeing you standing there with a whisky and that scarf, I can’t decide if you look like an actor or my Grandfather”.
More snickering from the work crew, but Chris ignored them as the comment seemed to rouse him. He finished his drink, left twenty euros on the bar and excused himself quickly
“Sorry Ronan but I just remembered I have to be somewhere, get the next one on me and have fun, yeah?”
‘Don’t tell me, you’ve realised you’ll have to start rehearsing straight away…” Chris did not hear the rest as he quickly left the pub.
He made his way across town by bus and an hour later walked into his surprised Grandfather’s room at his nursing home, carrying a bottle of Powers.
“Hi Grandad, do you remember you once told me to decide what to be and go be it? Well I did. And I wanted to come tell you all about it”
The elderly man smiled as he stood up to get two glasses.

Well written, DFens, but it switched suddenly from Ronan to the Grandad with nothing but a spurious remark by Ronan connecting the two. I felt the last couple of paras felt like they were tacked on from a different story. If you're rewriting it I would stick with Ronan and the pub and bring that to a witty/reflective/stinging conclusion. Personally, I think that would work better.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 27-07-2012 11:32AM

Apparently the book is being launched the second week in October, so we will finally get to read all fifty stories.

kilrush claire · 03-08-2012 02:01PM

Thanks for letting us know.

D-FENS · 07-08-2012 09:55AM

angaryaintjust wrote: »

Yeah! I thought so too D-fens (loving the falling down reference btw) but the character Ronan is very agressive. Is he angry or jealous the protagonist is doing something towards his dream?

I just wanted him to represent someone who has a conventional 9-5 job and does not understand anyone who does not pursue this way of life, but yes he is basically a character who is bitter, jealous and possibly angry at the main character for trying something different, when he possibly did not have the courage or inspiration to do so.
The main character is basically my nephew to be honest, he is an actor and did not get much encouragement from members of my family at the start, who had the attitude of the Ronan character.
Thanks for the comments

D-FENS · 07-08-2012 09:57AM

Lilly Prehistoric Tin wrote: »

Well written, DFens, but it switched suddenly from Ronan to the Grandad with nothing but a spurious remark by Ronan connecting the two. I felt the last couple of paras felt like they were tacked on from a different story. If you're rewriting it I would stick with Ronan and the pub and bring that to a witty/reflective/stinging conclusion. Personally, I think that would work better.

The switch was because I wanted to introduce a character who “celebrated what truly mattered” to the main character, the opposite of the Ronan character. I didn’t really want the Chris character to be someone who would rise to the comments made by Ronan, I felt he did enough to show him he didn’t care what he thought anymore by just up and leaving.
The remark by Ronan mentioning a Grandfather was enough for Chris to be reminded of his own one and realise he should be with him. It was intended to be more or less a “twist in the tale” if you get me and the section involving Ronan was always meant to build up to the introduction of the Grandad character. It felt a bit rushed to me too but as Echo Beach said, I had the word count in mind and just wanted to try and get the point of the story across. Thanks for the comments

angaryaintjust · 07-08-2012 11:13PM

So who wins pickarooneys €2:00 scratchcard? Psicic's is my favourite, probably because I have spent hours listening to jazz and blues with my own father, but they were all good

kieslowski · 28-08-2012 03:41PM

Got a call from the organisers to say that the book launch was on 9th October in Finnegan's in Dalkey. Anyone longlisted get the call? Hopefully it'll be a good night. I plan to get completely wasted on Powers whiskey

Miranda7 · 28-08-2012 06:16PM

Hi,
I was there last year. It was a really great night. Won't be the same this year without Maeve. However, I didn't see anyone wasted so I wouldn't hold my breath there. Congrats on getting on the long list.

kieslowski · 28-08-2012 07:04PM

Did you get a story into the book last year, Miranda? If there is no free whiskey I don't mind buying my own!

Miranda7 · 28-08-2012 08:40PM

Yes I did. It was a great night and there was free whiskey but it ended after about 2 hours. I really enjoyed it and met a lot of the other entrants some of whom I am still in touch with. I think two of last years people got into the long list again but it wasn't clear if they would be included in the book and I haven't heard from them. Who is launching it this year?

kieslowski · 28-08-2012 10:40PM

I don't know who is launching it, with Maeve Binchy no longer with us. The woman on the phone didn't go into much detail except to take my address. Did they post you out an invitation last year? Looking forward to it anyway.

Miranda7 · 29-08-2012 08:41PM

As far as I recall they sent the invitation by email about 10 days before the event but they had informed us by phone about a month before that. When I entered the competition I wasn't aware that there would be a book so the first I knew that I was going to be in it was the phone call. This year everybody knew that there would be a book. I hope you enjoy the night. It was great last year.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 03-09-2012 03:26PM

kieslowski wrote: »

Got a call from the organisers to say that the book launch was on 9th October in Finnegan's in Dalkey. Anyone longlisted get the call? Hopefully it'll be a good night. I plan to get completely wasted on Powers whiskey

Yes, I got an email saying I was being included in the book and that it would be launched on 9th October in Finnegans. They said I would get a more formal invite to follow, but haven't received anything yet.

It's really sad that Maeve Binchy won't be there.

kieslowski · 03-09-2012 04:27PM

Congrats Bella, on your inclusion. I didn't get an email and haven't heard anything since the phone call. Anyway I suppose I can just show up and demand entry on the night!

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 04-09-2012 09:12AM

kieslowski wrote: »

Congrats Bella, on your inclusion. I didn't get an email and haven't heard anything since the phone call. Anyway I suppose I can just show up and demand entry on the night!

Thanks. Congrats to you too. Given that its in a pub I can't imagine there'll be too strict a control on who can get in and who can't.

brog · 06-09-2012 01:44PM

Hi Kiesowski,
My story was also in the top ten but nobody from Powers has phoned me. I e-mailed them after seeing here on Boards that the book would be launched in October. 2 different people from Powers e-mailed me back with very vague replies saying I would be contacted nearer the date. I presumed that all the top ten would be included but your experience with Powers differs greatly with mine so I am a bit unsure now whether my story will be in the book at all.

Well done on your story Bella.
Hopefully I will see you in Finnegan's in October.

kieslowski · 06-09-2012 05:22PM

brog wrote: »

Hi Kiesowski,
My story was also in the top ten but nobody from Powers has phoned me. I e-mailed them after seeing here on Boards that the book would be launched in October. 2 different people from Powers e-mailed me back with very vague replies saying I would be contacted nearer the date. I presumed that all the top ten would be included but your experience with Powers differs greatly with mine so I am a bit unsure now whether my story will be in the book at all.

Well done on your story Bella.
Hopefully I will see you in Finnegan's in October.

I'm sure it will be included Brog. If you were shortlisted in the top 10 it would be a nonsense if you were not in the top 50 included in the book! The competition has been a bit haphazard all the way through, I got a call, others got an email, you got no call then two emails. I'm sure we'll all get confirmation and everything will be alright on the night!

Are you gutted about not winning by the way? I only think about the €10k once every hour these days

brog · 06-09-2012 06:06PM

I was deflated more than gutted. I was on a giddy high after getting the call to say my story was in the top ten and spent the next week feeling like a balloon slowly leaking air until the winner was announced. Ah well. I would only have spent the 10 grand on Cadburys and clothes for my babas instead of furthering my writing career.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 07-09-2012 10:41AM

I'm sure you're guaranteed to be in the book Brog. I'd imagine they only contacted those not in the top ten to let us know we'd made the final fifty. I still haven't received my formal invitation so I presume they haven't been sent out yet. Look forward to seeing you in Finnegans.

[-0-] · 19-09-2012 07:44PM

Nice story D-FENS!

I liked the winning story, too. I only read the short list stories and I also liked Verbose by Hugh Hynes.

brog · 20-09-2012 08:41AM

The book is in Easons. Looks really good. Unfortunately they got my name wrong but at least I made it into print. Congrats to everyone included.

Antilles · 20-09-2012 01:25PM

I just saw the book by the cashier's desk in Eason's Heuston Station. Would have bought it but didn't have the spare cash!

me-skywalker · 20-09-2012 02:19PM

Can anyone link me to the winning piece?

Thanks

kieslowski · 22-09-2012 09:14PM

http://www.irishtimes.com/blogs/powers-short-story-competition/2012/05/19/the-powers-short-story-competition-the-shortlist/

Here you go Skywalker. The winner was Apres Match by Christina Galvin.

Anyone know what stories they illustrated?

brog · 23-09-2012 01:49PM

The 10 illustrated stories are:
The Good Life by Tadhg O'Regan
The Cross Word by Helena Nolan
Plus One by Caroline McCall
Lines Written on a Seat by Joseph Frayne (also cover image)
Heels by Declan McCormack
Harry Ordinary by Conor Williams
Apres Match by Cristina Galvin
Winter Birds by Kieran Byrne
Through a Pane of Glass by Anne Farrell
Together by Ariel di Veroli Silvera

The illustrations are quite nice. In fact the whole production is lovely and well worth buying. I'm a little disappointed they got my name wrong though - not only did they change my gender, they turned me into my father!

Powers & Irish Times Short Story Comp

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