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So the GF dumped me :(

  • 30-07-2012 11:52PM
    #1
    srm23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭


    <Edited at OP's request and g'em's annoyance>


«1

Comments

  • #2
    mauzo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,033 ✭✭✭mauzo


    Ring her and fart down the phone


  • #3
    Praetorian Saighdiuir
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,968 ✭✭✭✭Praetorian Saighdiuir


    Hmmmmm isn't it obvious?

    Keep sending her poo parcels, shes bound to come around.


  • #4
    BornToKill
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,053 ✭✭✭BornToKill


    The internet broke it and now you think the internet will fix it again? Hmmmm ...


  • #5
    scudzilla
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,012 ✭✭✭✭scudzilla


    Go round to her gaff in the middle of the night, break in, shit on her chest and leave, she'll love that


  • #6
    kirving
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,305 ✭✭✭kirving


    Febreze?


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  • #7
    El Guapo!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,447 ✭✭✭✭El Guapo!


    For some reason I think this never happened...............hmm...........


  • #8
    EoghanIRL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,080 ✭✭✭EoghanIRL


    Seems legit


  • #9
    Miss Lockhart
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,639 ✭✭✭Miss Lockhart


    lol OP, the Inbetweeners is not supposed to be used as a guide to dating!


  • #10
    ft9
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,408 ✭✭✭ft9


    srm23 wrote: »
    Hey all,

    I had met this great girl a while ago on a night out we exchanged numbers & i knew she was a classy type who wouldn't be up for anything on the first night.

    I contact her & we went for a few dates, on the third date i couldn't help but notice the sight of condoms, ribbed for her pleasure, in her purse so i knew it was game on :cool:

    a couple of weeks later & we were officially going out, but there was still a shyness or trepidation in our behavior towards each other unless drunk.

    One morning in her bed i was thinking of how i could put her at ease in my company & try to take the nervousness out of our budding romance, i had it! or so i thought

    I threw out a vicious, obnoxious fart in bed and then held her head underneath the sheets, i thought it came across as playful as i read about it on the internet, but she vomited all over the sheets :eek: the sight/smell of this combined with the odour of my own fart made me vomit on her!

    .........how can i win her back? :o

    First thing you need to do is realise that this never actually happened.


  • #11
    Diego Maradona
    Closed Accounts Posts: 769 ✭✭✭Diego Maradona


    Trololol


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  • #12
    EoghanIRL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,080 ✭✭✭EoghanIRL


    Dean09 wrote: »
    For some reason I think this never happened...............hmm...........
    Don't feed the trolls


  • #13
    Supersiderman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 117 ✭✭Supersiderman


    Plenty more fish in the sea.


  • #14
    mikemac1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,395 ✭✭✭✭mikemac1


    Sleep with her sister
    She'll be jealous
    She will want you back


  • #15
    srm23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭srm23


    benwavner wrote: »
    , shes bound to come around.

    i think she is still passed out from the fart


  • #16
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    F*ck her sister.
    take pictures.

    Bítches love pictures


  • #17
    mrwhimwham
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 114 ✭✭mrwhimwham


    scudzilla wrote: »
    Go round to her gaff in the middle of the night, break in, shit on her chest and leave, she'll love that

    I thought I was the only person who likes to tarmac birds! :P


  • #18
    Ghandee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,653 ✭✭✭Ghandee


    xxxJennyxxx wrote: »
    F*ck her sister.
    take pictures.

    Bítches love pictures

    Me too, giggidy....


  • #19
    PizzamanIRL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,147 ✭✭✭PizzamanIRL


    Go asleep OP, stop making stupid threads.


  • #20
    Chagan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,017 ✭✭✭Chagan


    Take it a step further: She dumped you, You take a dump on her


  • #21
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    Ghandee wrote: »
    Me too, giggidy....

    Sure he may as well just put the pics up on one of those "We hate (insert some random sluts name here)" that were popular a few years ago.
    Everytime you share another picture becomes available.

    defo win your gf back then


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  • #22
    OMARS_COMING_
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 320 ✭✭OMARS_COMING_


    This is easily resolved.

    Start following her around,to keep track of where she goes and who she is with.After a few days start trying to peek into her windows to see what she is up to,taking a few pictures if possible.

    Send her a poke on Facebook,then message her telling her that you are a changed man and you made a mistake and ask for a date.

    If she says no,call to her house and pin her to the ground and tell her the devil is coming for her.

    She will love you more than ever before.


  • #23
    yizorselves
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 353 ✭✭yizorselves


    Well she'll never find you attractive again. Everytime she see's you she'll be reminded of that eggy turnipy stench you subjected her to


  • #24
    spagboll
    Closed Accounts Posts: 283 ✭✭spagboll


    if OP is serious then OP is a legend


  • #25
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    instead of a putrid dutch oven go the whole hog and give her a devils banquet


    edit: if the story is true then the op is a legend


  • #26
    Richard Hillman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,033 ✭✭✭✭Richard Hillman


    Have a posh **** everyday and send the condoms to her in the post saying you only thought of her during them. She'd love it.


  • #27
    ITS_A_BADGER
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,232 ✭✭✭ITS_A_BADGER


    Fart in a perfume bottle and send it to her, make her relive the horrible experience!


  • #28
    crazy cabbage
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 738 ✭✭✭crazy cabbage


    As you can see OP after hours is not the best place to ask for personal advice ;)


  • #29
    srm23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭srm23


    crazy cabbage wrote: »
    As you can see OP after hours is not the best place to ask for personal advice ;)

    i dont think these posters get it, its as if they want me to make the situation worse :confused:


  • #30
    jimmycrackcorm
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,358 ✭✭✭✭jimmycrackcorm


    Classy you say? Classy girls don't puke when you fart.


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  • #31
    LoYL
    Closed Accounts Posts: 235 ✭✭LoYL


    Thinly veiled "I want to talk about my farts, s***, rectum" thread.


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