Captain Graphite? Playpen?? The??? IN???!!!

jefreywithonef wrote: »

Fast and bulbous?

Lawliet wrote: »

If you were a super hero what would your origin story be?
Feel free to include description of powers and costume, visual aids are not necessary but are appreciated!

Dare I say I find superheroes a little dull? Superman is one of the most boring excuses for a superhero saga I've come across, and Spiderman is a wimp in a silly costume. Batman's a little better, and I'm going to see The Dark Knight Rises tomorrow night, but have to watch the first two beforehand 'cause I still haven't seen any Batman film yet! The one superhero thing I really like is X-Men, and that's because the divide between good and evil isn't always so clear. I've always found villains much more interesting than heroes, and frankly if I were a mutant in X-Men world I'd have been on Team Magneto rather than Team Xavier. So my superhero is sort of a villain. And my superpower is a rather sadistic one. Gather round folks, and I shall tell ye a tale:

The young Captain was a shy, socially awkward outcast in the Deep South of America. His bible-bashing mother ran away with the local reverend when he (the Captain, not the reverend) was only a child, his abusive father treats him with scorn and his classmates bully him relentlessly, and he takes it all on his chin because he's too meek to ever do anything about it.

Until one day, he snaps. He becomes so angry with the world that he takes it all out on himself. He beats himself to within an inch of his life. His layabout father, upon discovering his unconscious son on the ground, becomes scared that he'll be accused of being the one who beat him and runs off to arrange an alibi, not even bothering to call 911. Luckily, the irritating and nosey old woman next door calls around to complain for the millionth time about the unkempt garden and happens upon the young man nearly dead on the floor.

Having been revived in hospital, the young man realises that his own self-inflicted wounds are a catalyst that has sparked a hitherto unseen phenomenon to manifest in the intricate workings of his mind. Initially he's still the same old meek outcast as before, but now finds that he is able to transfer his own pain onto others. When a target is in sight, and he uses his mind fully to concentrate, he can make that target feel the pain that he has felt, using only his mind. At first, he is horrified by this dark new power. But when he has returned to school, and being confronted by the same old bullies, he realises that his gift is too tempting not to use. All he has to do is focus, and his former tormenters are left writhing in agony on the ground before him. The strength of his gift increases the more he uses it. It's not long before he begins to unleash this power at anyone who he perceives to look at him a bit funny. And then, inevitably, he loses all control, and sets out to target anyone and anything that has hurt him, pissed him off or is just an easy target. This now dangerous anti-hero will definitely do some good in the world but will go about it in a most cruel and sadistic way.

If my story becomes a movie, then there'll inevitably be ('cause this is how Hollywood works) a brilliant young female neuroscientist who's studying his case, trying to figure out quite how this ability has manifested itself and, inevitably, she will begin to fall in love with him.....however, since he's gay and has turned into a bit of a cúnt, there'll be no soppy love story. Instead she will become increasingly bitter and turn into an insane bunny boiler who begins experimenting on herself to give herself her own super powers. Will she succeed? That's a sequel, bitches, and I'm not spoilering that plot.

Oh and there will be no costumes. 'Cause costumes are kinda lame imo.

Lawliet wrote: »

Interesting, who would your archnemesis be?

Society!

One boring invincible hero or would you need a team to take you down?

Probably a team of boring ones. I'm sure when word got out about my awesome powers I'd have a hit put on me by someone. So I don't need a nemesis, just need to evade assassins.

Also are you a villain/ anti hero in all your escapist fantasy's?
Pretty much. When you have a lot of anger towards the world (and yourself) you kinda wanna be as destructive as possible as a FÚCK YOU. Amazingly I was never like this as a teenager. My angst didn't appear until I got to college.

What's the best board game?

I love Boggle and am quite good at it! Taboo is also extremely fun but you need four people for it so don't get to play it that often.

Ever considered writing a novel?

Yeah, I've thought about it. The above superhero spiel is one of my ideas with a few adjustments (in the novel he's not a superhero, just an everyday common shmuck. And he has to hurt himself in some way every time he wants to use his powers, so there's this whole "how much damage is he willing to do to himself to make others suffer?" question hovering throughout.
Also it will need to involve ninjas somewhere. Haven't quite figured out where that plot arc will go though....

Realistically I don't have the patience or self-confidence to ever actually sit down and write a full novel. I've been told a couple of times that I'm a good writer but I don't know how much of that is true and how much is mere lip service from people being nice to me.

I also hate the idea of submitting a manuscript for publishing and then being told "ok, you need to make these 30 zillion changes before we publish it." If I write something I want it published the way I wrote it, glaring faults and tedious sidestories and all. Otherwise I'd feel like I didn't really write it at all.

What would be your equivalent of Sophie’s Choice?


I'm not sure. Nothing deep or meaningful comes to mind here so it'd be something really shallow like choosing which of my favourite foods to never eat again or something like that.

Worst book you've ever read?

I read the first couple of pages of 'We Need to Talk About Kevin' and couldn't get over how idiotic the whole letter format was.

"Dear husband,
Blah blah blah rambling narrative that completely goes against the general conventions of letter-writing etc.
From wife."

NO-ONE WRITES LETTERS LIKE THAT!!! >____< I may watch the film instead at some point.

Most disappointing book I read and actually finished was probably 'Life of Pi'. I will admit the ending was pretty clever but I found the protagonist immensely unlikeable and irritating.

I honestly wanted the tiger to eat him

Also the whole book was shrouded in this condescending, "you need religion to be truly happy" tone, which I found really grating.

What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?

f(x) = y where x is an aquatic bird of rubbery origins and y is an element of the set of bathtime toys.

The above result is known as Ernie's Theorem. The reader may refer to 'Sesame Street' by Henson, Oz et al. for a full proof.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh85R-S-dh8

PS. Spider man is not a wimp, colour me mildly offended!

Your mild offence is noted. A fúck is not given.

jefreywithonef wrote: »

Nick Cave or Nic Cage?

Despite his lack of avian hair, Nick Cave kicks Cage's ass any day.

Best Velvet Underground album?

It's generally not regardes as the "best" but 'White Light/White Heat' is my personal favourite.
WL/WH > VU & Nico > The Velvet Undeground > Loaded

Speaking of the Velvets, I was sad to find out that Maureen Tucker has turned into a tin-foil hat wearing Tea Party supporter who claims Obama is leading America "towards socialism"! So much for rock n roll, eh? :rolleyes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v30CZ_g2aqQ

Do you listen to any of Lou Reed's solo work? (I'm currently binging on it)

So far I've only ever listened to 'Transformer' and 'Berlin', Thought I had a copy of 'Coney Island Baby' at some point but I can't seem to find it. Haven't quite plucked up the courage to attempt 'Metal Machine Music' or 'Lulu' yet!

Best growl - Beefheart or Waits?

Ooooh, tough one! I'm gonna have to go with Waits, I think. Beefheart's persona was based around being eccentric, whereas Waits's growl sounds more menacing and guttural to me.

Best Tom Waits album(s)?

Unfortunately there is still much of the Waits back-catalogue I've yet to get through. Of his albums that I do have, it's a toss up between 'Rain Dogs' and 'Mule Variations'. The former is the more consistently good though.

Best weird Tom Waits song / best ballad-y Tom Waits song?

Weird: Either "Emotional Weather Report" or "God's Away on Business". The former is the weirder but the latter has that brilliant Cookie Monster version!

Ballady: Have always loved "Hang Down You Head".

Unlikely Tom Waits cover you'd like to hear? my choice, a cover of Take A Chance On Me :cool:

Hmmm not sure he'd do as good a version of that as Brian Butterfield! :pac:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XipRUgmQ40

I'd quite like to hear him do a rambling cover of Alanis Morissette's "Hand In My Pocket" with some of his own lyrics thrown in. I think he'd do a brilliant version of that!

Last Splash or Pod?

'Pod', definitely! There are 3 or 4 songs I'd cut from 'Last Splash' whereas 'Pod' is pretty much consistent from start to finish.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bm3fQZYT8N4