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Ideal Bedtime routine.

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  • 03-05-2012 10:53PM
    #1
    Deus Ex Machina
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,556 ✭✭✭Deus Ex Machina


    I raised this issue in a thread yesterday in a satirical manner, but after considerable thought I now realise that it is undeniably worthy of further discussion. So here it is:
    i. Run a hot bath, complete with scented bubble bath, and light some candles.

    ii. Pour a snifter of Courvoisier and slip beneath the bubbles, taking in the scent as the cognac breathes.

    iii. Sip the cognac and slip deeper into the warmth so that the water is up to your shoulders.

    iv. Once the drink is gone you can sink lower into the water and take in the scent of the bath once more.

    v. Finish the bath with a cold shower and dry yourself thoroughly with a fluffy towel.

    vi. Place hot water bottle at the end of your bed and allow the heat to radiate throughout.

    vii. Look out bedroom window for a few minutes, watching the rain spatter against the glass and on the road outside.

    viii. Slip into bed and enjoy the warmth for a moment.

    ix. Select your book and lie back enjoying it as sleep slowly approaches.

    x. As your eyes get heavy turn off the lights and recline fully, listening to the rain on the window.

    xi. Sleep.

    You're welcome.


«1

Comments

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    #2
    MickySticks
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,177 ✭✭✭MickySticks


    Food, ****, shower and brush teeth, then bed.


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    #3
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,779 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    Deus Ex Machina wrote: »
    I raised this issue in a thread yesterday in a satirical manner, but after considerable thought I now realise that it is undeniably worthy of further discussion. So here it is:

    1 - Get really really really pissed.

    2 - Sleep.

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



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    #4
    TeddyTedson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,758 ✭✭✭✭TeddyTedson


    1. Sex
    2. Turn over
    3. Sleep


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    #5
    MungBean
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,915 ✭✭✭MungBean


    i. Run a hot bath, complete with scented bubble bath, and light some candles.

    ii. Pour a snifter of Courvoisier and slip beneath the bubbles....

    Sleep well sweet prince.


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    #6
    Cpt. Kelloggs
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23 ✭Cpt. Kelloggs


    Lie down, close eyes...


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    #7
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Deus Ex Machina wrote: »
    I raised this issue in a thread yesterday in a satirical manner, but after considerable thought I now realise that it is undeniably worthy of further discussion. So here it is:

    What happened all your sex dolls you were on about here? :confused:

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=78458193&postcount=8

    and here

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=78459028&postcount=20

    Are they not part of the bedtime routine? :pac:


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    #8
    Deus Ex Machina
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,556 ✭✭✭Deus Ex Machina


    Cpt. Kelloggs wrote: »
    Lie down, close eyes...

    That seems more like a form of non-violent protest than a bedtime routine. You don't even imbibe any alcohol. You'd want to buff up your ideas son.


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    #9
    Deus Ex Machina
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,556 ✭✭✭Deus Ex Machina


    kfallon wrote: »
    What happened all your sex dolls you were on about here? :confused:

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=78458193&postcount=8

    and here

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=78459028&postcount=20

    Are they not part of the bedtime routine? :pac:

    No, because you have to clean them if you use them at night or the next morning they smell like what I imagine the nest of hibernating eggs smelled like at the start of Alien. It is a laborious task best conducted in daylight.


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    #10
    IM0
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,390 ✭✭✭IM0


    deux en machina wrote:
    i. Run a hot bath, complete with scented bubble bath, and light some candles.

    ii. Pour a snifter of Courvoisier and slip beneath the bubbles, taking in the scent as the cognac breathes.

    iii. Sip the cognac and slip deeper into the warmth so that the water is up to your shoulders.

    iv. Once the drink is gone you can sink lower into the water and take in the scent of the bath once more.

    v. Finish the bath with a cold shower and dry yourself thoroughly with a fluffy towel.

    vi. Place hot water bottle at the end of your bed and allow the heat to radiate throughout.

    vii. Look out bedroom window for a few minutes, watching the rain spatter against the glass and on the road outside.

    viii. Slip into bed and enjoy the warmth for a moment.

    ix. Select your book and lie back enjoying it as sleep slowly approaches.

    x. As your eyes get heavy turn off the lights and recline fully, listening to the rain on the window.

    xi. Sleep.

    You're welcome.
    MickySticks wrote: »
    Food, ****, shower and brush teeth, then bed.

    lets play guess which sex each one of us is :pac:


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    #11
    marty1985
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 788 ✭✭✭marty1985


    Take Stilnox.
    Sleep.
    Do all sorts of strange things.
    Buy things on amazon.
    Wake up.
    Go to work.


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    #12
    TeddyTedson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,758 ✭✭✭✭TeddyTedson


    marty1985 wrote: »
    Take Stilnox.
    Sleep.
    Do all sorts of strange things.
    Buy things on amazon.
    Wake up.
    Go to work.
    Stilnoct! Soooooooo bad for you!
    When I had insomnia those things made it so much worse!!!
    What mg are you taking?


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    #13
    marty1985
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 788 ✭✭✭marty1985


    TeddyTedson wrote: »
    Stilnoct! Soooooooo bad for you!
    When I had insomnia those things made it so much worse!!!
    What mg are you taking?

    I was on 10mg for one year, then 20mg for the second. But actually at the moment I still get the prescription but stopped taking them, for the past couple months I have taken none. :)


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    #14
    rednik
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 5,271 ✭✭✭rednik


    Strip
    Give her one
    turn around
    fart
    put up with grief
    conk out
    get a dig about snoring
    conk out


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    #15
    TeddyTedson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,758 ✭✭✭✭TeddyTedson


    marty1985 wrote: »
    I was on 10mg for one year, then 20mg for the second. But actually at the moment I still get the prescription but stopped taking them, for the past couple months I have taken none. :)
    I used to take a few and still not sleep. I just walked around all dopey. A lot of posting on boards all dopey....waits


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    #16
    IM0
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,390 ✭✭✭IM0


    TeddyTedson wrote: »
    I used to take a few and still not sleep. I just walked around all dopey. A lot of posting on boards all dopey....

    but..but......





    obliges..


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    #17
    MJ23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,039 ✭✭✭MJ23


    Allied Irish, Paddy, Johnny Cash, Margaret. 4 - 5 times a week. Leave out Allied Irish and Paddy after being out for pints.


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    #18
    Posy
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Paid Member Posts: 28,279 Mod ✭✭✭✭Posy


    This is my own personal routine:

    Clean teeth.
    Get into bed.
    Just look at laptop for 10 minutes at most.
    I'll just have a quick look at boards.
    Okay, I'll give myself until 1am on boards, then lights out.
    Continue looking at boards.
    Post a few things.
    Read some random forums that usually wouldn't interest me.
    Post some more things.

    4am: Fcuuuuuuuuk
    *switches off laptop*
    Sleep


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    #19
    four18
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 460 ✭✭four18


    kfallon wrote: »
    What happened all your sex dolls you were on about here? :confused:

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=78458193&postcount=8

    and here

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=78459028&postcount=20

    Are they not part of the bedtime routine? :pac:
    I hate when people bother to look up your previous posts, Its kinda shallow nitpicking and therefore they deserve to die !!


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    #20
    FanadMan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,824 ✭✭✭FanadMan


    Normal bedtime routine......

    Put on electric blanket
    Wash
    Clean teeth
    Bed
    Bit of surfing
    Read
    Switch off light/electric blanket
    Listen to relaxing music
    Stare at ceiling
    Switch on light
    Read
    Switch off light
    Stare at ceiling
    Switch on light
    Get up and get dressed
    Make a cuppa
    Watch tv
    Go back to bed
    Rinse/repeat till time to get up in the morning


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    #21
    patwicklow
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,936 ✭✭✭patwicklow


    Before bed i always wash up & tidy the kitchen & set the the table for breakfast
    and squeeze some oranges in to a jug a place it in the freeze so when i come in from my early morning jog i have my orange juice and then prepare breakfast hoping the hens have laid.


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    #22
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Rub belly and drift off to sleep


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    #23
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,424 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    Stare at the ceiling for a few hours.
    Eventually get to sleep.

    Getting better at it now. Not staring at the ceiling as long that is...


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    #24
    Mickey Dazzler
    Closed Accounts Posts: 586 ✭✭✭Mickey Dazzler


    You forgot to mention tearing the box off yourself.


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    #25
    Pandora2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 937 ✭✭✭Pandora2


    FanadMan wrote: »
    Normal bedtime routine......

    Put on electric blanket
    Wash
    Clean teeth
    Bed
    Bit of surfing
    Read
    Switch off light/electric blanket
    Listen to relaxing music
    Stare at ceiling
    Switch on light
    Read
    Switch off light
    Stare at ceiling
    Switch on light
    Get up and get dressed
    Make a cuppa
    Watch tv
    Go back to bed
    Rinse/repeat till time to get up in the morning

    I've been working that regime for years now, except when you are staring at the ceiling, I am cleaning the oven, defrosting the freezer or some such other sh1tty task......I feel about 90 and I am only mid-forties, my life has been so much longer than those who have no problems nodding off. Sometimes I just stand there and watch the OH as he does his best impression of a coffee perculator and I understand what drives some folks to desperate acts!! Funnily enough he was an insomniac for years and now sleeps like a child, I tried everything he did but no joy and, I gave up on sleepers a long time ago.....it was like living your life in a fog:eek:


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    #26
    Nothingbetter2d
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    Pandora2 wrote: »
    I've been working that regime for years now, except when you are staring at the ceiling, I am cleaning the oven, defrosting the freezer or some such other sh1tty task......I feel about 90 and I am only mid-forties, my life has been so much longer than those who have no problems nodding off. Sometimes I just stand there and watch the OH as he does his best impression of a coffee perculator and I understand what drives some folks to desperate acts!! Funnily enough he was an insomniac for years and now sleeps like a child, I tried everything he did but no joy and, I gave up on sleepers a long time ago.....it was like living your life in a fog:eek:

    have sex with your oh to tire ya out.


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    #27
    SunnyDub1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,439 ✭✭✭SunnyDub1


    Brush teeth
    Cleanse and wash face
    Put on face cream
    moisturize
    Put on jammys
    Get into bed
    Look at a few things on my phone - boards,fb,twitter,daily mail
    Sleep


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    #28
    Evelynn Gentle Gymnast
    Posts: 81,308 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Evelynn Gentle Gymnast


    Meh I dont like baths


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    #29
    Pandora2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 937 ✭✭✭Pandora2


    Nothingbetter2d wrote: »
    have sex with your oh to tire ya out.

    That's why he is doing his best impression of a Coffee Perculator......the sleep of the satisfied!!!! Strangely, after sex I like to talk ;):D:D:D


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    #30
    saa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭saa


    Get washed,
    into pjs,
    light some candles and incense to unwind,
    put on some relaxing music,
    wake up on fire.


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    #31
    Deus Ex Machina
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,556 ✭✭✭Deus Ex Machina


    bluewolf wrote: »
    Meh I dont like baths

    But have you ever had a bath with candles, scented bubble bath, music and a delicious drink for accompaniment? I suspect you'd be changing your tune if you tried that, sonny Jim.


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