The Thread of Sex Adventures

corktina · 09-04-2012 10:12AM

Defiler Of The Coffin wrote: »

I had sex once with a bird with nice long legs and a good long neck. It was an ostrich.

Yeah? more likely a Cockatoo.:rolleyes:

smcgiff · 09-04-2012 10:23AM

mardybumbum wrote: »

She was trying to get rid of you.

That was no kid - it was Frodo aka irishgeordie

Defiler Of The Coffin · 09-04-2012 10:25AM

corktina wrote: »

Yeah? more likely a Cockatoo.:rolleyes:

A cockatoo?! That's perverted! What the hell is wrong with you?

09-04-2012 11:13AM

I accidentally the whole fleshlight.

cloptrop · 09-04-2012 11:19AM

Caught my younger brother watching gay porn , I was so disgusted I bent him over and proceeded to horse him out of it right there screaming is this what you want you homo. Thatll teach him to stay straight .

cassel16 · 09-04-2012 11:31AM

We were having it out in the kitchen.... long story short, she went at me mickey with a cheese grater.

Speedsie · 09-04-2012 11:37AM

cassel16 wrote: »

We were having it out in the kitchen.... long story short, she went at me mickey with a cheese grater.

Ah, yes, the old 'Lioness on the Cheesegrater' position, so beloved of the ancient Greeks.

holystungun9 · 09-04-2012 11:41AM

Gummy Panda wrote: »

I had sex with a girl and we snuggled afterwards. I was big spoon. I like snuggling.

The end

Did you cry too?

Gummy Panda · 09-04-2012 11:51AM

holystungun9 wrote: »

Gummy Panda wrote: »

I had sex with a girl and we snuggled afterwards. I was big spoon. I like snuggling.

The end

Did you cry too?

No. I fell asleep. She said I snored but I say they were sleep growls.

AckwelFoley · 09-04-2012 01:02PM

Ive been a virgin since I got married

The Snipe · 09-04-2012 01:13PM

Sex is fun. I want to have sex. I wander if that hooker is out of prision yet?

Fiona · 09-04-2012 09:24PM

I went home with a fella one night, he said he was 'doing security' for two houses that were being built on Glasnevin Ave a good couple of years ago.

Fell out of the taxi and went around the side of the house to the back. There might have been a bit of a 'racket' (

) going on outside before we made it into the house via the back door.

The 'activites' followed on inside in the hall and then there was a flash light coming in via the front door, somebody called the Garda to report a disturbance

There were no blinds on the window, I hope I didn't scar them for life

:o

Kidchameleon · 09-04-2012 09:28PM

some random drunk wrote: »

I've mentioned it on here before, but I once went back to this girl's house after a night out and went to the bathroom. Came back out and she was breastfeeding her child in front of me. Her child was 5 years old!

That would be a major turn on for me.

Seriously

Jen Pigs Fly · 09-04-2012 09:58PM

No thanks I'm fine

Potential-Monke · 09-04-2012 10:26PM

I remember when i was in the Free Clothes Association, i was after breaking up with my missus, and we went off to the range for the day. We were all 16/17. After the day, we all got off in the local village, and decided to get some booze. There was 5 lads and 4 wimmen. We got the booze, and i convinced the brother to let us drink in his house, he fooked off with the missus and kids to allow us some peace.

So we immediately began with spin the bottle, and one of the girls had to strip down. "Rules" were made after that, which meant no immediate stripping. Boo. So each spin of the bottle, if it landed on the opposite sex it started with a kiss, then a kiss and a feel of boob, or a quick flick/pull. Clothed lapdance was next.

This went on for a while, then a few left, and it was down to me, another lad and 2 girgils. After a while and down to the underwear. Yurt! It was so heading towards a happy ending when *DING DONG* and the brother returns home. Scramble to put back on the uniforms, and that was the end of that...

Never, in my life, have i had so many tugs when i got home!

HenryChinaski · 10-04-2012 03:09AM

That moment right at the end of a devil's threesome where me and my mate made eye contact when both of us were just after popping on her tits was one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life.

Also had a bird once with one boob significantly bigger than the other. Has anybody ever seen that before because it freaked me out? But not enough to stop me from taking care of business.

I'm partial to a bit of rimming.

ToddyDoody · 10-04-2012 03:27AM

Confab wrote: »

There's no point, every story here will be a complete lie.

for the record, i've never posted a lie here. (I also dont get too many thanks) thats all i really want to respond to but now i have to add a mediocre story.. Probably aged three when me and the girl neighbour discovered the fun of spreading mr freezes (the cheap icey treat) over each other's bare bodies. I nearly passed out from the sensual delight

Cavehill Red · 10-04-2012 03:54AM

She was half-Greek, half-German, doing her year's study abroad in Ireland. For some reason she took a shine to me in the bar, and I brought her home. Flatmates were briefly warned no shenanigans as I was on a (rare) promise, and we retired to my pit boudoir.

I'm not proud of what happened, not proud at all. It just sort of slipped out. I didn't mean it to. I never meant to cause any offence. After all, we were in my bed, and about to be intimate.

But when she removed her top, even though I knew the obvious answer, I just blurted it out: 'Why do you only have one tit?'

Somewhat astonishingly, we still had sex, once she'd stopped crying and explained about her cancer hell and subsequent mastectomy. I had no problem keeping my eyes on her face the whole time.

Royal Irish · 10-04-2012 07:27AM

I met a girl out clubbing in Bangkok. We exchanged numbers and a couple texts and a few days later she called round to my room.

She had a bag with her as if she was going to stay over night, which I was cool with.

But she went into the bathroom with the bag and came out wearing thigh high leather boots, leather bra with small chains hanging from it, a fecking leather whip in hand, and no knickers, and just a big erect penis pointing straight at me. :eek:

suicide_circus · 10-04-2012 07:36AM

Nice.

Eroticfishcake · 10-04-2012 07:43AM

Royal Irish wrote: »

I met a girl out clubbing in Bangkok. We exchanged numbers and a couple texts and a few days later she called round to my room.

She had a bag with her as if she was going to stay over night, which I was cool with.

But she went into the bathroom with the bag and came out wearing thigh high leather boots, leather bra with small chains hanging from it, a fecking leather whip in hand, and no knickers, and just a big erect penis pointing straight at me. :eek:

You bang cock? btw very believable story

Gummy Panda · 10-04-2012 07:44AM

Royal Irish wrote: »

I met a girl out clubbing in Bangkok. We exchanged numbers and a couple texts and a few days later she called round to my room.

She had a bag with her as if she was going to stay over night, which I was cool with.

But she went into the bathroom with the bag and came out wearing thigh high leather boots, leather bra with small chains hanging from it, a fecking leather whip in hand, and no knickers, and just a big erect penis pointing straight at me. :eek:

You got your ass stretched by a Thai ladyboy HA HA

senordingdong · 10-04-2012 07:52AM

Gummy Panda wrote: »

I had sex with a girl and we snuggled afterwards. I was big spoon. I like snuggling.

The end

Don't believe it.
Pics or GTFO.

Royal Irish · 10-04-2012 08:28AM

Gummy Panda wrote: »

You got your ass stretched by a Thai ladyboy HA HA

Lets be honest here, if you had to have it stretched you would rather a Thai ladyboy do it than some bearded farmer from Wexford called Seamus.

CardBordWindow · 10-04-2012 09:22AM

A friend of mine recently emigrated to Canada. After a while, he started going out with a Canadian girl. Anyway, he stayed over at her place one night, after a feed of pints. It was only his 2nd night in the apartment. During the night, he got up to use the bathroom, and in a sleepy drunken state, went into the wrong room, and hopped into the bed with the housemate. He was just about to spoon her when he realised his mistake, apologised and went back to the girlfriend.

Most people would find the event amusing. Not her. She phoned the police!
Crazy canadians.

The Thread of Sex Adventures

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