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Help building a support network for widow

  • 27-12-2011 06:58PM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭


    To put this bluntly, my mam, like many of her age, is a hard woman.

    She's been a through a lot in life, she's a widow and would certainly not be described as a friendly or cheerful person. She's ultra conservative, does nothing but complain and has a very different world view from most people. Outside of her immediate family (which is just me and my brother) she has maybe 3-4 friends who would occasionally contact her.

    As life for all of us has progressed, this has become an increasing burden on me. I live far away from home and travel a lot for work. If I don't call my mam she can go for days without speaking to anyone. She's deeply unhappy and lonely but there's only so much I can do from a distance. I'd really like her to have more friends and people around her to have people to talk to and interact with. However, I can't make friends for her, just like I can't make her try new hobbies or activities (I've tried to suggest these before).

    When you have a personality that only a son could love, how do you find other people to surround yourself when they're not around?

    Suggestions? Personal experience?


Comments

  • #2
    Acoshla
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,729 ✭✭✭Acoshla


    Do you know that she is lonely, has she said she is? My mother lives alone 4 hours from me, I'm an only child, she has about 3 friends and 2 siblings living relatively near, never really socialises with people other than meeting someone for a chat every couple of weeks, but is perfectly happy like this. She would easily go a few days without talking to anyone but me, that's the way she likes it. So I just want to be clear that your mother is unhappy with this situation and it's not just you unhappy with it.

    What age is she? Voluntary work is a great way to meet people. My mother volunteers (to fill her cv, not because she likes to meet people :p) and she maintains that it's a great way for people to get out and make new friends.


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