I find it really hard to know what to do with my life?

effluent · 08-04-2011 08:10PM #1

Ok so I'm nearly finnished college but I still find it hard to know what to do. To be honest, when was doing my LC we were pressured into getting a qualification, if not that then you were more or less a bumb. So I went for a degree, just for money and the sake of having a career. Now that I nearly have the degree I feel it is not enough. I think there is something missing from my life. My friends back home didn't go to college and work with their parents in a garage or work at construction. As juvenile as it sounds, I envy them though, they are care free and enjoy themselves whenever they want. I feel as if I've taken life way too seriously and haven't done anything that I want to do.

I feel there is so much I could do in my life, but their is so little time to do so. I'm pretty multi skilled and do anything if I put the effort in. I don't realy

I have an idea of doing a stint in a military (FFL) to do a bit of character building and the adventure, then possibly train as a secondary school teacher. But I have a high marks and a lot of people don't know why I don't go further in college like masters ect. The truth is I'd probably achieve it, but I don't like the career after (being a pencil pusher)

Am I the only one who feels like this?

SparkyTech · 08-04-2011 09:37PM

effluent wrote: »

Ok so I'm nearly finnished college but I still find it hard to know what to do. To be honest, when was doing my LC we were pressured into getting a qualification, if not that then you were more or less a bumb. So I went for a degree, just for money and the sake of having a career. Now that I nearly have the degree I feel it is not enough. I think there is something missing from my life. My friends back home didn't go to college and work with their parents in a garage or work at construction. As juvenile as it sounds, I envy them though, they are care free and enjoy themselves whenever they want. I feel as if I've taken life way too seriously and haven't done anything that I want to do.

Life has only begun for you! However much you may feel having the degree might have hindered you, its better to have it in your back pocket then not. More then likely, You will have a better starting salary then your peers who never went to college. Esp given the current labor market so fair play for sticking it out. Have you talked to friends/good lecturer/ carearrs service/counselling on Campus etc? Everyone needs a bit of advice form 3rd parties to make an informed decision!

I have an idea of doing a stint in a military (FFL) to do a bit of character building and the adventure, then possibly train as a secondary school teacher. But I have a high marks and a lot of people don't know why I don't go further in college like masters ect. The truth is I'd probably achieve it, but I don't like the career after (being a pencil pusher)

Am I the only one who feels like this?

Don't do a masters ''just for the sake of it''. Take some time out, travel, do your stint in the military, volunteer etc...the worlds your oyster. Come back to the masters when you have a better idea about where you want to go in life (not to mention the added life experience for your CV) and if further education will have you achieve that practicualr goal. Lots of finance involved in doing a masters, as well as the emotional constraints. Its a whole different world to an undergraduate degree.

You are being too hard on yourself. Some people take years to find their path in life, you don't have to plan it down to a tee. Life should have some definitive goals, but by all means allow some of it to unfurl of its own accord

Best of luck

HugoDrax · 09-04-2011 12:09AM

Lots of people go through their entire life never knowing what to do.
The most interesting people are people who are in old age having achieved so much in their life, still don't know what to do.
Take Clint Eastwood as an example.
The guy grew up poor, he wanted to play jazz, then he joined the Air Force, almost went to Korea to fight in the war but survived a plane crash and never went in the end. Then he tried acting and he had bit parts in crappy movies and television shows before he made a cowboy movie in Italy and suddenly he was world famous. He dated and slept with loads of women, got married and divorced, had kids, starred in lots of cop movies, lots of good movies and lots of crappy movies. Then he drifted into directing and now he is in his 80's and he has suddenly got a massive creativity infection and is making movies like his life depends on it as he approaches the end of his life. He would never have dreamed he was a living legend today and he questions why people have any interest in him at all.

Marlon Brando became a world famous movie star, made love to every women he could lay his hands on and in later life became obese and fathered dozens of children on a South Pacific Island.
He got scripts sent to him every day and used to put them in his freezer and blow them apart with his shotgun for sport. He once was the greatest living movie star and he forsake it because he thought Hollywood was phoney.

You are not alone. Successful people never know where they are going and the thirst for a direction never stops.

effluent · 09-04-2011 10:34PM

SparkyTech wrote: »

Life has only begun for you! However much you may feel having the degree might have hindered you, its better to have it in your back pocket then not. More then likely, You will have a better starting salary then your peers who never went to college. Esp given the current labor market so fair play for sticking it out. Have you talked to friends/good lecturer/ carearrs service/counselling on Campus etc? Everyone needs a bit of advice form 3rd parties to make an informed decision!

Don't do a masters ''just for the sake of it''. Take some time out, travel, do your stint in the military, volunteer etc...the worlds your oyster. Come back to the masters when you have a better idea about where you want to go in life (not to mention the added life experience for your CV) and if further education will have you achieve that practicualr goal. Lots of finance involved in doing a masters, as well as the emotional constraints. Its a whole different world to an undergraduate degree.

You are being too hard on yourself. Some people take years to find their path in life, you don't have to plan it down to a tee. Life should have some definitive goals, but by all means allow some of it to unfurl of its own accord

Best of luck

I'm not sure if anyone thinks about this, but in recent years I have come around to the reality of dieing someday, that we only get one life/chance, and that there so little time for us on this earth to achieve our goals. This is what pushes me the achieve high marks or carry out taks to perfection. I told a friend about this, and he just thought I sounded very depressed, which I'm not. I try to live life to the full (within reason), try new and interesting activities ect. But it just seems I'm surrounded by people who are quite happy to stick to a cushy job and make lot of money for the rest of their life.

To be honest I have never spoken to a careers councilor in my life. I am worried about discussing this with my parents. They gave me support in college, and I thought about dropping out half way through the degree. But I thought it would be best to make the most out of four years by erning a good degree instead of wasting two years in college. So I horsed through the final years to get to where I am right now, but I didn't tell anyone how I felt. My parents seem to think that the most important thing in life is to make money and have a career. When ever they ask me what I'm going doing after college I just say I'm looking into it but that there might not be much luck, even though I have no intention of persuing a career directly related to my degree. Albeit it is important to make money, I just feel there is so much more to life than that

I have seriously thought about doing internation charity work soon enough. The senso of vocation and being placed in extremely demanding situations is what makes the military (French Foreign Legion) really appealing to me. When I get old I want to look back on my life with pride and say I acomplshed something and enjoyed it. Though the very few people I talked to about this don't believe I will go through with this or just think I'm totaly daft, and this puts me off telling my parents and family how I really feel. They are expecting me to go further in college, but I don't want to and I don't want to disapoint them.

I sorta feel like I'm going through a crisis in that I've wasted time in college and that I'm getting too old to be doing this (I'm 22). Does this sound daft to anyone? How should I tell my family how I really feel?

I know this isn't the worst of problms on here but this is really bothering me, and thanks for the replies so far and thanks for reading this:)

MissMiami · 09-04-2011 10:59PM

Fair play to you for sticking at your course and getting good grades. Really well done!

I'm kind of in the same boat as you in that I don't know what I want to after college. I was accepted into a Masters course in the UK but then realised that was definitely what I didn't want to do. So I've decided to take a year out and go travelling for a bit. Experience new cultures, etc.

You really shouldn't do a Masters just because that's what you think people want you to do. I'm pretty sure your family and friends just want you to be happy so don't feel pressurised in to staying in college. Do you have much interest in the course you did and can you see yourself working in that area when you are older? Would a Masters be useful for your career? There's no reason why you can't do a Masters in a few years either.

If your heart isn't really in it, take some time out. Go inter-railing or volunteering or something. Why not join the military like you want? Have some life experiences.

You definitely seem like a really hard-working person who can achieve anything you want when you put your mind to it, seeing as you got top marks in a course you didn't like. I would absolutely recommend talking it over with a guidance councillor as they may be able to provide you with more options that you may not have known about.

And by the way, 22 is a very young age when you're looking back when you're 60! You still have your whole life ahead of you!

Best of luck with whatever you decide!

effluent · 09-04-2011 11:42PM

MissMiami wrote: »

Fair play to you for sticking at your course and getting good grades. Really well done!

I'm kind of in the same boat as you in that I don't know what I want to after college. I was accepted into a Masters course in the UK but then realised that was definitely what I didn't want to do. So I've decided to take a year out and go travelling for a bit. Experience new cultures, etc.

You really shouldn't do a Masters just because that's what you think people want you to do. I'm pretty sure your family and friends just want you to be happy so don't feel pressurised in to staying in college. Do you have much interest in the course you did and can you see yourself working in that area when you are older? Would a Masters be useful for your career? There's no reason why you can't do a Masters in a few years either.

If your heart isn't really in it, take some time out. Go inter-railing or volunteering or something. Why not join the military like you want? Have some life experiences.

You definitely seem like a really hard-working person who can achieve anything you want when you put your mind to it, seeing as you got top marks in a course you didn't like. I would absolutely recommend talking it over with a guidance councillor as they may be able to provide you with more options that you may not have known about.

And by the way, 22 is a very young age when you're looking back when you're 60! You still have your whole life ahead of you!

Best of luck with whatever you decide!

Yeah I'm thinking of doing a bit of traveling and/or doing international charity work, I've never been abroad before. I really need some time to get my head straight. It's just that everyone is asking me what I will be doing and telling me about what they are doing, it just makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. The course I did wasn't all that bad, but I just can't see myself getting up every morning to do it, if that makes any sense. I like the idea of being a secondary teacher, it might be an option after the military. I only need to do an extra year in college to do it. I guess having life experience would look good on your cv.

I don't think I'll ever do a masters, really don't like the studying or reaserch part, I don't think it would benefit me that much. Who knows, I might do it in the future if I want to.

LittlemsSkelly · 12-04-2011 07:18AM

Hi OP,
Congrats on sticking with the degree and its completely normal to have that sense of fear and trepidation about the future. I did pharmacy after the LC because it was what someone else wanted and I was miserable. I left after two 2 years of trying to force myself to enjoy a passion that just wasn't there, so find whatever your passion is and go with it. Think of all of the cumulative experiences of your life so far, now imagine the same time period but working a job that you despise because you have to?
This country's educational system is a joke, no 17/18 year old is either emotionally or intellectually ready to make a decision about their future and put it down on a form with no real world experience. There was recently a paper published, (i think Australia, Il try find the link) saying that scientists had discovered that human brains did not reach full maturity until our late 20s, and that it was rational to expect some bad decisions and experimentation (not a promotion of drug use!!!) .
22 is not to old to do anything else, have a root around boards, there are people in their mid- late 30s doing medicine and dentistry, people change their lives all the time, and if doing a phd is YOUR decision, go for it. If not, there is no shame in doing another course.

Best if luck in whatever you do!

thecookingapple · 12-04-2011 09:09AM

You seem quite bright and thoughtful, these traits can be heaven or hell......you dont want to be a pencil pusher? so dont be, there is plenty of things you could do, so do plenty of things.

Permabear · 12-04-2011 11:12AM

This post has been deleted.

discus · 12-04-2011 09:05PM

I've nothing to add really, you seem to know yourself what you want. All I can say is watch out for the parents - mine went ape**** when I decided to throw in the towel at the beginning of a good, well paid job to apply for the military. You know what you want, don't let anyone sideline you.

Am I the only one who feels like this?

Hundreds do, but few follow through. My doctor is the one person who pushed me to do it. Told me it'd ground me for life.

I find it really hard to know what to do with my life?

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