Worst/most embarrassing bout of vomiting you have ever endured?

Jev/N · 13-09-2010 09:48PM

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

There was sick everywhere in his place. It was the most I ever threw up but still a great night.

LOL, reminds me of a Simpsons quote...

It was the most I ever threw up, and it changed my life forever.

-- Homer Simpson
Homer Goes To College

I'll post my story later

Adam · 13-09-2010 09:51PM

kowloon wrote: »

Got a bad case of something and had to rush to the porcelain throne, had just started to go when the cramps got too bad and I started getting lightheaded.
I couldn't get off the toilet to get sick in it so I ended up vomiting straight forward into my jocks and trousers which were around my ankles.
I continued to squirt out both ends for what seemed like a lifetime, I felt like a tube of toothpaste that had been squeezed empty.
Had to spend the night lying in the bath, the bout continued for another two days.

strokemyclover wrote: »

I had the great misfortune to see a mate absolutely hammered taking a dump in an open stall in a nightclub in town. The poor bastard was so plastered he forgot to close the door while sitting on the throne so we all got a great view when he totally lost control of all bodily functions and ended up getting sick into his trousers which were conveniently placed around his ankles.

Sure enough, he had to pull them up and stumble home. I don't think we ever told him the full story as he thought himself to be quite the drinker at the time!

???

ringadingding · 13-09-2010 09:53PM

Years ago when i was about 17, i went back to this girls that i worked with parents house We were pretty pissed and were proper horny, no jonnys, so i offered a deal that i get a BJ and after i go down on her, stupidly, she agreed. I got my BJ in the living room of her parents bungalow and it was time for me to go down on her, well i went down and put my head right in there, and man what a smell of pungent smoked fish, i threw down some seriously spontaneous vomiting all over her poont@ng, legs belly, everywhere, she started screaming and her auld feller came booting out of the bedroom to find his 16 year old daughter naked, being puked on by some random guy, he chased me around the garden before slipping over in the mud and giving up.

I had to face her in work the next day.

Saw her on facebook recently, she's a right munter.

titan18 · 13-09-2010 10:03PM

I was about 8 or 9 when this happened to me.Not sure what I ate or drank either.

Was asleep at night when my stomach decided to projectice vomit all over my bedroom.Ceiling,floor,curtains,walls,me all covered in vomit.Woke up when my dad came in.He had to clean it up after :eek:

Despite all the cleaning and everything, my duvet, a very nice Manchester United one, had a UFO shape right at the end of it afterwards and would never come off.

threein99 · 13-09-2010 10:04PM

Puked in a crowded lift when i about 12, I never seen as many people scatter with no where to go in my life

nachoman · 13-09-2010 10:24PM

It was after I consumed a flagon of vodka mixed with coke and large amounts of snacks in the cinema
that I began to feel a little queasy.
When I got the bus home initially I began to feel heavy and bloated.
But the hot weather that day combined with the stifling heat on the bus triggered it.
I began to fill a paper Easons bag to the brim with puke on the stairs of a crowded bus.
When the sick began seeping through the thin paper I began to panic,
so I quickly deposited the bloated bag of sick on the stairs avoided eye contact with the passangers and
quickly legged it off the bus - the smell must have been all over the bus on a humid swelting day like that and
I can only imagine some poor victim slipping and sliding on that puke bomb left on the stairs - teehee.

Novella · 13-09-2010 10:57PM

Had food poisoning a few years ago. I worked in River Island at the time and the January sales were starting so I couldn't ring in sick. Went to work, shop was insanely busy, really warm, people everywhere etc. I told my manager I didn't feel too well being on the shop floor... so she decided that the best place for me was on the tills...

She was wrong.

Cantona's Collars · 13-09-2010 11:08PM

Puked relentlessly over the wall of the local church on a Sunday morning as everybody headed to mass-it was like a scene from a horror movie,was waiting for the priest to come out and perform an exorcism,it was the last pint that did the damage the night before.(always is)

Saila · 13-09-2010 11:21PM

In a pub drinking jack daniels and pints for about 10 hrs, puked in a big coke container on a table..and staggered out soon after

Agricola · 13-09-2010 11:37PM

Chatting to my mother one sunday morning when I was 17 or 18 after a hard night on the tiles. All of a sudden becoming nauctious, running to the sink and projectile vomiting on top of a load of cups and saucers!

She had a face like the world was about to end.

Son Of A Vidic · 13-09-2010 11:48PM

Halls of Residence in my London days, after drinking the local dry. Didn't we all decide to converge on a room back in the students res. I remember consuming a bottle of pink Vodka, which proved to be the final straw for me. Feeling the 'hurl' coming, I decided the best course of action would be to jump down 4 flight of stairs to my ground floor room. Upon arrival, I rapidly approached the window, opened it and proceded to vomitt like a demon.

Two important points here, which compounded matters.
1) My ground floor room window, opened on to a communal courtyard area.
2) Sure hadn't we lost track of time, so dawn had come and gone. So the courtyard was only full with about 30/40 students, as I hung out my window doing my possessed demon impersonation.

Mint Sauce · 13-09-2010 11:56PM

about 13/14 years old, was a fundraiser concert, closest thing to hand was my baseball cap, didn't even make it out of the row i sitting in.

OPENROAD · 14-09-2010 12:01AM

Sea Sharp wrote: »

I got sick on the floor of a pub in front of a family eating dinner. It was around 3pm in the day. Shouldn't have mixed Guinness and Budweiser.

(I was only 16 in fairness though. )

You shouldn't have been drinking Budweiser full stop.

starlit · 14-09-2010 12:14AM

Had three embarrassing ones. One of which was when I was at a school mass, second occassion was when I was at a nightclub, just sipped a shot and it never reached very far down to my tum but luckily made it to the toliet bowl before I did any damage! Thought I wouldn't make it! Third time was when I was walking down a set of stairs in a hospital had an anesthetic that day. Just got very ill all of a sudden and the unthinkable happened. Any other time was the usual, either bug/alcohol/eating too much/migrane induced!

Aidric · 14-09-2010 12:31AM

In the back of a taxi in the college days. Myself and 2 mates had just polished off a bottle of tequila before getting in the taxi in to town. We were but a couple of minutes from our destination when the hurls came. The drivers overpowering pine of the forest didn't help matters. A good forty seconds of projectile all over the back floor.

He demanded 60 punts and being a student I said I don't have that sort of cash. His next move was to radio and then drive up to Henry St garda station and park outside. A cop came out and we compromised a soiling charge of 50 quid. My mates had to chip in to get it paid.

I haven't touched tequila since.

DazMarz · 14-09-2010 12:36AM

It started out about 4 months before the actual puking... We were in a bar I owned a stake in. A friend of mine was being insulted about getting a shinebox from his house by a guy who had been released from prison. My friend flipped a bit, but returned later, and proceeded to whack the guy in question!:eek:

We had to bury the body way out in the sticks, so the guy's crew (he was connected) didn't find out he was dead.

Then, we get word that they're gonna build luxury apartments where we buried this fúcking guy's body! We gotta go and dig that fúcker back up, and I mean we had to do it now.

So me and the two guys I originally buried the body with went out with our shovels to get to work. They had no problem with the putrifying corpse (that had to be loaded into the back of my fúcking Cadillac, I might add!) but I found myself regurgitating my prosciut' all over the place! How embarrassing in front of the guys!

Spewed all over, while Jimmy and Tommy just laughed it up, asking me if I wanted a leg or a wing! Fúck... that just made me puke harder!

You ain't smelled nuthin until you've smelled a six month old corpse...:(

:rolleyes::cool:

RolandIRL · 14-09-2010 12:38AM

This - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvMduWKHNpY

up for anything · 14-09-2010 01:06AM

Years ago when working in Germany after a night drinking Sekt (at DM1 per bottle you couldn't fault it) an Italian lad made spaghetti bolognese. I wolfed it down and about five minutes later it came right back up again. I was hanging over the sink with spaghetti hanging out of my mouth and the other end still somewhere in my throat trying to spew it up. Eventually pulled it all out with my hand.

lilblackdress · 14-09-2010 01:14AM

^ Quite possibly the funniest story here.... Sick (literally) but very funny!!

sidneykidney · 14-09-2010 02:55AM

up for anything wrote: »

Years ago when working in Germany after a night drinking Sekt (at DM1 per bottle you couldn't fault it) an Italian lad made spaghetti bolognese. I wolfed it down and about five minutes later it came right back up again. I was hanging over the sink with spaghetti hanging out of my mouth and the other end still somewhere in my throat trying to spew it up. Eventually pulled it all out with my hand.

I had to log in just to thank this....lol

xOxSinéadxOx · 14-09-2010 06:31AM

On my way to the train station, bought a can of coke on the way. On the train I can feel that horrible feeling when you know you're gonna be sick, thank god the toilet was in the next carriage, stayed in the toilet puking for ages. then went and sat down out side the toilet, put my feet and bags around me so nobody would sit beside for quick access to the bathroom. next thing these 2 people ask to sit down beside and I'm thinking 'oh no' but I had to say yes obviously. anyways managed to not get sick. then later on that day I'm on the bus and feel the need to get sick, oh no. so I manage to hold it down but get off the bus at the next stop which is o connell street and as soon as I get off I projectile vomit all over the place. people were horrified. holding back sick just makes it worse!

Another time I was on my way to an exam. Had no sleep the night before cos I was in so much pain with my stomach ulcer so I was wrecked and in pain, walking along looking like a homeless person, with a vacant expression, all these kids were on their way to school and I was just puking every few minutes then continuing walking along.

Another time I got up really early cos I had a thing at 9 in college. I never go to this so I dunno why I went this day anyways I ate a banana before I went. Was hungover and thought I was going to pass out on the walk there but I was fine. Anyways was on the way home after that and next thing I just got sick and it was yellow from the banana right in the busiest part of college luckily there wasn't that many people around on a Friday morning.

Then there was ap better get out of the shop so I started walking really quickly to get out of the shopthis one time I was in Dunnes and next thing I started to feel really dizzy and sick so I was like oh cr but I didn't make it cos I felt like I was going to faint so I had to just sit down and I put my head between my knees but then next thing I just vomited. so embarrassing, somebody who worked there came over and then I had to watch a poor girl cleaning up my sick

I did get a free bottle of water though.

Another time I got too drunk during RAG week and I don't remember this but I've been told I got sick in a bucket, then filled the bucket up with water, and shouted at my friend to throw it out the window, which she did.

And I always remember when I was younger I had a bug and couldn't eat or else I'd get sick. but we got this really nice barney drinks so I decided **** it I'm gonna have one. few seconds after finishing it I knew I had to get sick so I ran to the bathroom, made it, but didn't make it to the toilet, had my hand over my mouth and I projectile vomited purple barney drink all over the bathroom. all the sick burst through my hand, like my hand was a fan and made it go everywhere.

chakotha · 14-09-2010 09:28AM

Most embarrassing would be the morning after a party when about 17 yo at a buddy's house after failing to touch the breakfast his mum made us I had to lean out an upstairs window to spew because the toilet was occupied and my buddy's sister and Mum were down in the garden pointing and having a right laugh.

Worst has to be when about 16 or so I had viral meningitis (not the deadly one)
the main symptoms were a blinding headache followed by the most racking few hours of getting sick ever. Talk about the telephone to God! I seemed to get better just after that.

Standard Toaster · 14-09-2010 10:10AM

My mate's father passed away and we all went on the lash on a Friday night, his father due to be cremated on the Saturday morning.
Still rather pissed from the night before, as the coffin was rolling into the furnace, I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen and proceeded to puke on the crematorium floor as my mate and his family watched on crying. Had terrible puke sweats as well to add to the embarrassment.

I felt like jumping into the furnace myself at that moment....

Logical Fallacy · 14-09-2010 10:47AM

When i was about 12 i was quite ill, told the parents and they said grand, stay at home from school. I was sitting at the kitchen table trying to drink some tea and my mother asked me was i okay, that i looked like i was going to get sick. I replied, "nope, i'll be okay" and no sooner had i finished the sentence that i felt the puke rise up, i tried to make it to the sink but ended up puking on the floor, the inertia from my rush to a better place to puke carried me on so i stood on ,and neatly slipped in, my own puke and proceeded to puke on myself on the way down.

Cue me, 12 years old, lying on the floor in a pile of puking, whilst puking on myself and the rents trying their best not to break their **** laughing at me.

Funny.

jackiebaron · 14-09-2010 11:19AM

Woke up after a friday on the lash and needed to piss like a racehorse. Nothing unusual there so toddled off to the jacks. My hangover hard-on was coming down so that was grand and pointed my knob to the bowl. This is where things get messy.
I was wearing an old t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. Now my bladder is full to exploding and the p!ss is clattering away into the jacks. I'm a smoker and obviously the night before I probably smoked forty cigs and my throat and lungs were quite claggy. Cue the cough with disgusting blob undoing itself from my chest. This caused an immediate gag reflex and my whole body convulsed. Remember I'm still pissing. My brain hadn't shut down the urinating function and I can really only describe this as best I can because it happened practically instantaneously.
The shudder from the gag reflex forced a volley of puke to splatter all over the cistern. Because I had forced, the relaxed stream of urine also became pressurised and sprayed all down the back behind the bowl. And the crowning glory was that I filled my toggs at the back-end as well. The end-of-evening shoarma gushing out my rectum and down my legs inside the tracky bottoms.
Luckily the bathroom had a stone floor and a shower that you just walk into. I just turned on the water and got in in my clothes...eventually peeling them of and letting the water wash away all the dung. Had to hose down the cistern too.
Brushed my teeth, had a ciggy and went to the pub to watch the match and embark upon round two :P

NothingMan · 14-09-2010 11:19AM

Worst: Made a nice big pot of chilli for dinner one night. It was delicious, myself and the gf enjoyed it so much that she took some to work and I came home for lunch to eat some more. About 16:30 I knew I didn't feel right but not too bad. By the time I got home I almost took the toilet off the wall with the chilli soup erupting from my burning sphyncter, my gf came home to me lying on the bed pale and weak as a day old kitten. She's not the most comforting of people I found out when she goes "ok, I'll be watching TV". So a while, and many anus obliterating toilet trips, later I felt the puke dizzies. I get to the toilet in plenty of time but, and I don't know if you know this, it is not possible to vomit and control your sphyncter at the same time. Cue me shouting for my gf to bring a plastic bag, she eventually pokes her head in, sees me white as a sheet, toilet plastered in chilli puke and trying to hold by chilli soup soaked cream cords away from my legs, throws me the plastic bag and I quote "make sure you clean up after yourself" and goes back to the TV. I thought women were suppose to be comforting in your time of need?

Embarassing: Either after some "I got dumped" drinking, on a bus home from town after guinness, bulmers, whiskey and the barmans heartbreak special mix I'm hammered. A colleague of questionable virtue and a face like a bucket of smashed crabs decides she'll try her luck, so she's sitting on my lap when I blast an explosion of alcomix chunks all over her. Luckily that was my only body fluids she ever got on her.

Or at my sisters wedding rehearsal. In the Sub in walkinstown ran to the bathroom bro to be and the priest at the urinals as I almost make it to the cubicle and vomit all over the bathroom floor to the sounds of them laughing their heads off.

CreepingDeath · 14-09-2010 11:30AM

Cat Melodeon wrote: »

And on and on it went, like the bloke at the end of The Meaning of Life, my eyes watering and nearly blind, heaving to the extent that I could barely hit the brakes.

Oh God... I had totally forgotten about Mr Creosote in "The Meaning of Life".
Especially the bit where he pukes on the cleaner.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aczPDGC3f8U

themandan6611 · 14-09-2010 12:07PM

A sunny Monday morning after a weekend on the beer. Was on the old 62 bus route into town during summer - far too warm, got off the bus in Ranelagh and pretended to tie my laces as I puked away, the bus was stuck in traffic beside me so I proceeded to walk and puke as the bus slowly moved along beside me:), into work then - think i stopped getting sick around lunchtime

Another one i was knacker drinking with tins of guinness and a naggin of Powers - went home puked in me runner (the left one of a nice pair of suede runners) and all over the bathroom wall - blamed the brother on that one and the folks believed it!

AudreyHepburn · 14-09-2010 12:10PM

Junior cert Sience exam. I had a terrible tummy bug and was in and out of the classroom every five minutes I'd say! Luckily the examiner was very understanding and the loo was only just outside the door.

I was fine the next day although exhausted. And I managed to pass the exam (just about!) which I'm quite proud of because if you saw the state of me!

wolfpawnat · 14-09-2010 12:20PM

I was working at Oxegen in 2008 even though I was 8 weeks preggers. I survived the whole weekend without being sick. I got a bus home 8am on the Monday morn, no bother. Was getting off the bus in my OH's hometown, he didnt get out of my way fast enough, All over him and his bag!!! And of course no one would believe it me when I say I hadn't been drinking!!!!!

Then there was the time I was in a car with our friend (still preggers, but still hadnt told anyone). We were driving around for ages, as soon as she stopped the car, I vommited like crazy for a few min (near on exorist style here) and just turned around and walked off and said "right, whose for ice cream) everyone around thought I was mad!

Worst/most embarrassing bout of vomiting you have ever endured?

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