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Kicked out of the bed!

2

Comments

  • #32
    we'llallhavetea_old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭we'llallhavetea_old


    Lando Griffin wrote: »
    Myself and the other half respect each other to be throwing each other out. We dont believe in sex before marriage and after ten years together in October are probably the happyist couple on the street. If things start to get out of control we have a saying " What would god do ?" Its the same lesson I will be teaching my two year old when he grows old.

    my sarcasm detector is not working tonight.. you don't believe in sex before marriage yet you have a son? ... yeah... i'm kinda picking up the sarcasm now... i think.. :confused::):confused::o


  • #33
    epgc3fyqirnbsx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,228 ✭✭✭epgc3fyqirnbsx


    we'llallhavetea wrote: »
    my sarcasm detector is not working tonight.. you don't believe in sex before marriage yet you have a son? ... yeah... i'm kinda picking up the sarcasm now... i think.. :confused::):confused::o

    I know this guy, he made the fatal mistake of having a **** and didn't clean under his fingernails the lo and behold....


  • #34
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    we'llallhavetea wrote: »
    my sarcasm detector is not working tonight.. you don't believe in sex before marriage yet you have a son? ... yeah... i'm kinda picking up the sarcasm now... i think.. :confused::):confused::o

    Mary & Joseph never had sex either. Everytime they felt the urge to commit such a "sin", they would think, "What would God do now?".

    So they did what God does. Joseph went and had a cold shower, while Mary had the daylights shagged out of her an Almighty cock.

    Only one of them was really surprised when she fell pregnant.


  • #35
    pow wow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,288 ✭✭✭pow wow


    He said I'd be so much cuter if I lost a couple of pounds. I was a size 10 at the time.


  • #36
    Motley Crue
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,382 ✭✭✭Motley Crue


    Yourself wrote: »
    only ever been with one girl :p

    She really scarred you then....:rolleyes:


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  • #37
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    She was eating crackers, so out she went.


  • #38
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    OutlawPete wrote: »
    She was eating crackers, so out she went.


    why do women do it ? :mad:


  • #39
    Banned Account
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,553 ✭✭✭Banned Account


    Snow-Monkey wrote: »
    why do women do it ? :mad:

    Not just women - I ate a craker once - from Norn Iron she was. I think it went down pretty well ...:cool:


  • #40
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    Snow-Monkey wrote: »
    why do women do it ? :mad:

    ;)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdXy75VrQho


  • #41
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    Fitzcaraldo wrote: »
    Not just women - I ate a craker once - from Norn Iron she was. I think it went down pretty well ...:cool:


    I was trying to derail the thread into a woman hating one........#


    way to go, bambi :rolleyes:


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  • #42
    Banned Account
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,553 ✭✭✭Banned Account


    Snow-Monkey wrote: »
    I was trying to drail the thread into a woman hating one........#


    way to go, bambi :rolleyes:

    Pardonz - should have read "cracker eatin' beeeatches - all of them"

    Must have left the thesaurus on.


  • #43
    WindSock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    Snow-Monkey wrote: »
    I was trying to derail the thread into a woman hating one........#


    way to go, bambi :rolleyes:

    Now it's turned into a traveller one instead.


  • #44
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Got kicked out when I asked the bird I pulled if she was ok if a few of the lads hid in the wardrobe while we did it! I suppose she was prob annoyed that I'd ruined the element of surprised cos if you tell someone they are hiding then they're not really hiding anymore. I think that was the reason she threw me out, I'd ruined the surprise :D

    The lads are normally quiet as mice too in this scenario :eek:


  • #45
    Sanjuro
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,241 ✭✭✭Sanjuro


    Lando Griffin wrote: »
    probably the happyist couple on the street.
    Ignorance is bliss.


  • #46
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    WindSock wrote: »
    Now it's turned into a traveller one instead.


    We all know why your names wind sock don't we :pac: :P

    any way serous discussion here....

    where was I :confused:


  • #47
    fakearms123
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,381 ✭✭✭fakearms123


    i once pulled my girlfriend down under the covers, pulled my boxers down and let out a wet fart on her face, I might of got kicked out of bed and eventually broken up with over this but she got pink eye the next day, dirty bitch!


  • #48
    phill106
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,838 ✭✭✭phill106


    kfallon wrote: »
    Got kicked out when I asked the bird I pulled if she was ok if a few of the lads hid in the wardrobe while we did it! I suppose she was prob annoyed that I'd ruined the element of surprised cos if you tell someone they are hiding then they're not really hiding anymore. I think that was the reason she threw me out, I'd ruined the surprise :D

    The lads are normally quiet as mice too in this scenario :eek:

    reminds me of a tucker max story...


  • #49
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    fakearms123 wrote: »
    i once pulled my girlfriend down under the covers, pulled my boxers down and let out a wet fart on her face, I might of got kicked out of bed and eventually broken up with over this but she got pink eye the next day, dirty bitch!



    Lies :pac:


  • #50
    fakearms123
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,381 ✭✭✭fakearms123


    Snow-Monkey wrote: »
    Lies :pac:

    FACT son!


  • #51
    Kiera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    I'd be lucky to get someone into my bed so i'd never ever kick them out!


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  • #52
    fakearms123
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,381 ✭✭✭fakearms123


    Kiera wrote: »
    I'd be lucky to get someone into my bed so i'd never ever kick them out!

    i.e. you have a face of a dog who got kicked in the face with a brick...


  • #53
    Kiera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    fakearms123 wrote: »
    i.e. you have a face of a dog who got kicked in the face with a brick...

    Yup. But bricks dont have legs, silly.


  • #54
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Kiera wrote: »
    I'd be lucky to get someone into my bed so i'd never ever kick them out!

    Shall we get the violins out........


  • #55
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    fakearms123 wrote: »
    i.e. you have a face of a dog who got kicked in the face with a brick...

    Well, with your charm .. I'd say you have no problem getting women into bed.


  • #56
    fakearms123
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,381 ✭✭✭fakearms123


    OutlawPete wrote: »
    Well, with your charm .. I'd say you have no problem getting women into bed.

    girls be squirting left and right for me, filthy sluts!


  • #57
    Kiera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    fakearms123 wrote: »
    girls be squirting left and right for me, filthy sluts!

    You're a virgin, arent you?


  • #58
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Squirting mace......


  • #59
    Banned Account
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,553 ✭✭✭Banned Account


    OutlawPete wrote: »
    Well, with your charm .. I'd say you have no problem getting women into bed.

    Add to that the fact that it must be nigh-on impossible to 'shake hands with the unemployed' when you have fake arms and all of a sudden the frustration is understandable.


  • #60
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Fitzcaraldo wrote: »
    Add to that the fact that it must be nigh-on impossible to 'shake hands with the unemployed' when you have fake arms and all of a sudden the frustration is understandable.

    Well Heather Mills managed to open her legs to anyone with money and she has a fake one!!!


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  • #61
    punchdrunk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,355 ✭✭✭punchdrunk


    I wasn't so much kicked out of bed as launched out of it!

    myself and a German lady friend were doing the bad thing in her apartment she rented in town with her mate,they had a tiny room with a bunk bed and she had the top bunk
    as we hit "full flight" the slats that hold up the mattress must have buckled with the motion and the weight of the two of us and gave way,so the two of us and the mattress went into freefall! :eek:

    thankfully my mate had taken the other wan home with him otherwise she'd be dead,and I'm not sure how I could have defended that one in court!

    landlords take note,buying cheap furniture for your tenants could end in death!


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