Exit Interview - Do you have to do one?

watna · 14-06-2010 11:21PM #1

Hi, I'm finishing up in my job in 2 weeks. I've really enjoyed my job over the last few years but things have changed recently and I've been very unhappy so moving on felt like my only option.

A lot of the problems stem from the HR Manager who I work quite closely with (I'm not in HR though). I won't go in to the details but I don't trust her at all and I don't feel comfortable discussing why I am leaving the company with her, especially as some of the reasons concern her.

What should I do? Can I tell her I don't want to do one? Can I ask to do it with someone else in HR? There is one other person who works for a different area in the company (we're split in to two businesses) so I could maybe request that? I don't want to discuss with my manager as she is the CEO and also the HR Manager's manager so it would be quite awkward. Do I go and just give her as little information as possible? I'd like my issues to be heard as they haven't up until now but just not by her. I feel like they would be used against me after I left and I have a very good relationship with my manager. I don't want my bridges to be burned for me, if you know what I mean.

Any advice appreciated!

Offy · 14-06-2010 11:26PM

watna wrote: »

Hi, I'm finishing up in my job in 2 weeks. I've really enjoyed my job over the last few years but things have changed recently and I've been very unhappy so moving on felt like my only option.

A lot of the problems stem from the HR Manager who I work quite closely with (I'm not in HR though). I won't go in to the details but I don't trust her at all and I don't feel comfortable discussing why I am leaving the company with her, especially as some of the reasons concern her.

What should I do? Can I tell her I don't want to do one? Can I ask to do it with someone else in HR? There is one other person who works for a different area in the company (we're split in to two businesses) so I could maybe request that? I don't want to discuss with my manager as she is the CEO and also the HR Manager's manager so it would be quite awkward. Do I go and just give her as little information as possible? I'd like my issues to be heard as they haven't up until now but just not by her. I feel like they would be used against me after I left and I have a very good relationship with my manager. I don't want my bridges to be burned for me, if you know what I mean.

Any advice appreciated!

Keep in mind that you might need a reference some day from that company. Best to make something up rather than give negative feedback IMO.

watna · 14-06-2010 11:46PM

That's why I said I didn't want my brdiges burned for me. She is likely to twist what I say and I won't be here to defend myself. I have a very good relationship with my manager and I don't want that soured by what information she chooses to pass on.

I'd rather not do it at all. No matter what I tell her it will be the wrong thing. The whole thing just makes me really uncomfortable.

sambuka41 · 15-06-2010 12:16AM

I'm in the same position at the moment. I have mine in three weeks. Ive decided to only mention things that I realistically think can be changed. Which for me will mean not mentioning problems that I'm having with certain people,cause i know it wont matter what im saying, they wont do anything about it and i'll look bad. Just keeping it limited to aspects of the job/ company that i think can be made better to help all employees.

Its crap that some people can be so petty and as a result others have to worry about references when all they are doing is telling the truth. :mad:

Nody · 15-06-2010 04:20AM

Treat the exit interview as a interview for the other company; keep it utterly low key with out bad mouthing any one or any thing. Simply state the wish to explore a new area/closer to family or something like that and don't bring up a single bad thing about the company/the people.

suitseir · 15-06-2010 08:36AM

As well as an exit interview, why not email or put it in writing that you are leaving for "other" reasons......not the negative ones.......the HR person cannot twist your words then!!!!

As other poster said, remember you will need references and NEVER say NEVER that you would never work for them again..in this present climate, no matter how bad things are, jobs are precious! Best of luck.

bbam · 15-06-2010 09:16AM

Nody wrote: »

Treat the exit interview as a interview for the other company; keep it utterly low key with out bad mouthing any one or any thing. Simply state the wish to explore a new area/closer to family or something like that and don't bring up a single bad thing about the company/the people.

I think this is excellant advice... You have your chance to move on from whatever you aren't happy with..

Move on and leave them to it, you'll need a reference at some stage and who knows maybe you'll be looking at a job there again in the future..

deelite · 15-06-2010 10:01AM

Don't badmouth the HR Manager - the person who appointed them is probably the MD/CEO - and it mightn't be a good move to critize their judgement.....

Also I'd advise against having another party with you - unless you're being repremanded...

watna · 15-06-2010 10:23AM

deelite wrote: »

Don't badmouth the HR Manager - the person who appointed them is probably the MD/CEO - and it mightn't be a good move to critize their judgement.....

Also I'd advise against having another party with you - unless you're being repremanded...

The CEO is my boss too. I report directly to her and I have discussed the HR Manager with her briefly before, as she likes to know what people think. I was fairly non-comittal about it though.

I won't badmouth the HR Manager - the exit interview is with her, I just don't want to discuss why I'm leaving with her in particular. I guess I'll just have to say as little as possible. She really wants to know why I'm leaving because I was offered a promotion and turned it down which she just doesn't understand and she was quite annoyed about it. She's dying to know why I would leave over a promotion and has asked a number of other people in the company who I am friends with about it - they all told her they didn't know but apparently she was quite persistent. I think she's really going to try and get me to discuss what happened in depth and press me a lot but I really don't want to.

I think it will just be a test of my diplomatic skills more than anything else. The HR manager will never be the one giving me my reference, my manager or perhaps the CFO will and I'm comfortable with that. I just don't know what information the HR Manager will pass on from my Exit interview. Is it confidential? I'm presuming not as you'll have left the company.

Thanks for all the advice guys - it's a crap situation. You're leaving a company but you still have to be so careful!

bbam · 15-06-2010 10:59AM

I've seen people's file marked "DO NOT REHIRE" over similar comments in exit interviews..
Keep your options open.... NEVER is a long time

best of luck

Our man in Havana · 04-07-2010 01:35PM

Just say you do not wish to participate in any exit interview. Say nothing beyond that.

doolox · 04-07-2010 11:31PM

Employment conditions will only get worse with attitudes like that.
If there is an issue with the HR person it is better to have it aired and out in the open and maybe it will get sorted.

If people keep quiet and move away from trouble the troublemaker will keep making trouble for other people and things will only get worse.

Enough people have to stand up and not take nonsense from people who are given more power than they can responsibly handle.

So much for the "race to the bottom" being caused only by employers, if employees are so spineless they have to take their share of the blame for decreasing job conditions.

sambuka41 · 04-07-2010 11:38PM

doolox wrote: »

Employment conditions will only get worse with attitudes like that.
If there is an issue with the HR person it is better to have it aired and out in the open and maybe it will get sorted.

If people keep quiet and move away from trouble the troublemaker will keep making trouble for other people and things will only get worse.

Enough people have to stand up and not take nonsense from people who are given more power than they can responsibly handle.

So much for the "race to the bottom" being caused only by employers, if employees are so spineless they have to take their share of the blame for decreasing job conditions.

I agree with this completely but i can see why people have a hard time standing up. I know in my case i still have to work for a week after my exit interview, going to be awkward to say the least. As well as being afraid of not getting a good reference after you leave. I would imagine this stops most people from standing up.

thebman · 04-07-2010 11:56PM

I wouldn't say anything. I've been in HR after they have done exit interviews fixing computers and basically they said its there so the person can vent as it makes them less likely to vent elsewhere and they don't really give a crap what you say.

I wouldn't bad mouth any person as there is no doubt that will be viewed very negatively.

I'd just make something up or say you don't really see the point in giving an exit interview as your just looking for different opportunities that the current company can't offer such a move into this area as they it isn't an area they deal in.

mikemac · 05-07-2010 12:03AM

I had do one recently, I realy didn't want to do it.
Then I was forced to do it, it's in the employee handbook.
Realy just general questions so I went with the tactic of saying as little as possible and above all, not critizing.

Why bother, the people before me have talked for ages in their exit interviews and we say the same points to management weekly and nothing changed. Nobody cares and then they wonder why experienced staff are leaving.

So it was strictly, one word answers from me and HR still took offence and that I was uncooperative and they needed quality feedback from experienced staff to help them

If you wanted my opinion you left it too late, an exit interview is a trap and realy, honest feedback would be used against you.

I messed it up anyway, if you can get out of it then do so.
And if you have points to make, then say them while you are still employed there.

watna · 05-07-2010 11:53AM

Well, I left my job last week and went to my exit interview. I was very honest about things, after i got some good advice from a friend. I do feel my comments will be taken on board and I'm really glad I aired them. I was honest but not bitchy or vindictive. I guess there's a way to say things.

As I had the interview with the hr manager I didn't go in to too many details on the issues I had with her but I did mention them.

I'm glad I went and it made me feel a lot better too. For the first time they were listening to what I had to say and I feel I definitely made the right choice in leaving.

I would recommend to anyone else to go to your exit interview and say what you feel you can. It's not really for you at the end of the day but for your ex colleagues.

doolox · 05-07-2010 08:20PM

The way one complains about whatever issue caused you to leave is important. If you come a cross as a whinger and haven't a strong case then nothing will be done.

If however a couple of people leave at around the same time then something will be done as a company cannot afford to lose several experienced people due to the actions ( or inactions) of one errant Manager.

Keep records of all decisions made, courses and opportunites for advancement offered etc. and don't be afraid to back your assertions with facts, dates and data.

Get and read thoroughly any handbooks availiable and have a written contract detailing all conditions of employment.

Emma216 · 09-07-2010 09:09AM

If your worried about her twisting your words,as far as i know a leavers interview should be typed as it goes along,should be re read by the leaver and once satisfied signed by both leaver and interviewer.That way no one can twist your words.Also there should be no objection for a witness.I know all this as the company i work for is very into crossing the ts and dotting the i's.
I also remember when a former collesgue left and tore apart the area manager in her interview (this was handwritten) the area manager ordered my manager not to send it to head office untill she saw it and ended up throwing it out and made her own one up!!!
You have every right for all this to happen with your interview,i mean if she refuses this whats she got to hide?;)

BostonB · 09-07-2010 06:03PM

Exit interviews sound like another HR exercise to justify someones job in HR to me. Its also a clear sign that they aren't doing their job.

Exit interview. "No we'll listen to you this time... no seriously"

Exit Interview - Do you have to do one?

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