can't accept break up

LegacyUser · 03-07-2010 02:41PM #1

My boyfriend of nearly 2 years just broke up with me over the phone. We're in a LDR.

He has been extremely depressed of late and is now in a clinic for it. I'm fairly certain he is just not thinking straight. He has been on sick leave for this from work - he was having a nervous breakdown at the idea of work at the end - for about 6 months, and joined this clinic last week. He originally agreed to come over next weekend to discuss but then emailed to say no he won't, just accept it and don't contact me again.

He is the most wonderful man I have ever met, and i'm not the romantic type, I was the fine with a single independent life type. I love him with all my heart, I'm so proud of him (until now), I've never met anyone like him. He really does feel like my other half. I've never felt this way before or thought it was even possible to.

I'm fine with giving him space if he needs it. I could give him a month or two or whatever. I don't care how long it takes. I told him I can't accept something like that over the phone after 2 years when we had such plans for the future and discussed spending our lives together. My family have bent over backwards accommodating him and making offers for him to stay if he needed, so my mother is furious with him right now, heh.

I can't accept it and I won't. I guess if it really is no contact then that's it for a while but if I give him space to clear his head then I WILL contact him again.
Mum being a shoulder to cry on said he's spineless and looking for a reaction or something and don't say a word to him and he'll come back apologising. That would be ok.
I'm not a shrinking violet, I'm the first to say "f* that" if I think someone is mistreating me and i'm prone to speaking straight to people. I won't accept being treated badly. But I love him.

little lady · 03-07-2010 05:53PM

Hi

I'm pretty much in the same boat, was in an LDR for 9 months, everything going swimmingly and then bang within about three weeks pretty much all contact was cut, I couldn't handle the lack of contact from him so ended it but I do love him and would have given all the support in the world but he didn't know if he wanted it. He was suppose to come home for a visit at the beginning of June but couldn't come.

The only advice that I can give you and it's the way I'm looking at my situation is that he is depressed, he's not thinking straight and believes that your life will be better without him in it. My ex keeps telling me that he has nothing to give me and as much as it hurts I know that he is putting all his effort and emotions into over coming his depression.

When he was "well" he always told me that he takes a long time to fall out of love, and he has never told me that he doesn't love me or want me in his life. So I have to believe that when he starts to come out of his depression that he will still love me. If he dosen't he will at least be in a place where we can discuss things and end it properly.

We split 4 weeks ago, I have good days and bad days, the bads I will text or email him but I never expect a reply, if I get one, great if I don't I dont but it's the only way I can get through it and I think he knows this.

I hope some of this helps.

can't accept break up

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