C&H sex discussion thread

amacachi · 17-01-2010 03:06AM

Piste wrote: »

No I didn't say that at all.

But if I were an African who couldn't afford to raise a child and knew the risks of HIV I would abstain from sex if I couldn't access condoms. It would be plainly irresponsible not to. I wouldn't bring a child into the world only for it to suffer, and I wouldn't want to contribute to the rapid spread of HIV. No sex in the world is worth that, imho. Obviously circumstances are different for those who genuinely are unaware of the risk of HIV, but it's still damn irresponsible to create a child you can't look after.

No, that's totally wrong. What about the person you give an STI to? They have to bear the consequences of your decision to have unprotected sex. What about the baby you have that you can't afford to raise? They have to bear the consequences too.

If you were an African you more than likely wouldn't have most of that knowledge and as a female wouldn't have a huge say in whether or not you get to abstain.

Jay P · 17-01-2010 03:22AM

Piste wrote: »

No I didn't say that at all.

But if I were an African who couldn't afford to raise a child and knew the risks of HIV I would abstain from sex if I couldn't access condoms. It would be plainly irresponsible not to. I wouldn't bring a child into the world only for it to suffer, and I wouldn't want to contribute to the rapid spread of HIV. No sex in the world is worth that, imho. Obviously circumstances are different for those who genuinely are unaware of the risk of HIV, but it's still damn irresponsible to create a child you can't look after.

No, that's totally wrong. What about the person you give an STI to? They have to bear the consequences of your decision to have unprotected sex. What about the baby you have that you can't afford to raise? They have to bear the consequences too.

The first part of your post I completelt agree with. It's totalyy irresponsible and irratioanal if someone wants to put their own pleasure and response before responsability to sex.
And not just an STI. What if you're 13, we'll say. How can one possibly say they know the same emotional and physical implications having sex has as someone who is 18?
Of course I am generalizing. There are some 18-year-olds who incredibly immature, and some 15-year-olds who are very mature. But the simple fact is, for the most part, this isn't true.

Ginja Ninja · 17-01-2010 09:58AM

Piste wrote: »

No I didn't say that at all.

But if I were an African who couldn't afford to raise a child and knew the risks of HIV I would abstain from sex if I couldn't access condoms. It would be plainly irresponsible not to. I wouldn't bring a child into the world only for it to suffer, and I wouldn't want to contribute to the rapid spread of HIV. No sex in the world is worth that, imho. Obviously circumstances are different for those who genuinely are unaware of the risk of HIV, but it's still damn irresponsible to create a child you can't look after.

Not to soud like a completely heartless b*stard,but this is almost irrelevant in much of africa.Culturally women don't care,having a child is seen as a good thing[whether you can feed it or not] as that child,if it grows up can help you with work or can bring an income to an already impoverished home,with survival rates what they arre the more they can have the better.We've done a few lectures on it in college,africa's poverty i it's own fault,right now africa as a whole is at 315% of it's feasible output,which means there's 3.15 times the amount of peple in africa that africa has the resources to feed,there situation is their own fault and that's the sad truth.

hitlersson666 wrote: »

c&h sex meet up anyone???? we could get the best of both worlds here
the virgins lose there virginity we they could have safe sex as well??*:cool::cool::cool::cool:

nb all mods please don't ban me im joking unless people really want this then pm me and i'll see wat i can do............

are you sure you're not Jizzler?

hitlersson666 · 17-01-2010 10:31AM

yes i even posted pics of me before if u want more proof i'll post more pics lol

whadabouchasir · 17-01-2010 03:44PM

Piste wrote: »

No I didn't say that at all.

But if I were an African who couldn't afford to raise a child and knew the risks of HIV I would abstain from sex if I couldn't access condoms. It would be plainly irresponsible not to. I wouldn't bring a child into the world only for it to suffer, and I wouldn't want to contribute to the rapid spread of HIV. No sex in the world is worth that, imho. Obviously circumstances are different for those who genuinely are unaware of the risk of HIV, but it's still damn irresponsible to create a child you can't look after.

You might think it's irresponsible to bring a child into the world if you can't look after it but the reason why poor people have so many children is because they are poor.In third world countries state pensions,disability payment and the dole are non existant.So if you have no children and become sick the chances are that you will die.However if you have several children then they will be able to work fom an early age to support the family and to support you when you get sick,old or experience financial hardship.So in reality they don't have a choice but to have many children.As for others living with the sti's you give them,well unless it was rape they had a choice in the matter so it is as much their choice and they too must live with the consequences.

TheCardHolder · 17-01-2010 05:38PM

bythewoods wrote: »

I don't think you'd be able to judge a guy in a negative light for doing that, it's definitely just responsible.
I've got friends that bring condoms with them every time they go out; perhaps it's a little bit over ambitious but tbh it's fair enough. You don't want to end up back in some chick's house and just have to spoon tbh.

This pretty much sums it up. When I go out, I usually have one in my wallet.

Is it being a presumptious arsehole? Absouletely, but better than being unprepared.

Jay P · 17-01-2010 06:01PM

whadabouchasir wrote: »

You might think it's irresponsible to bring a child into the world if you can't look after it but the reason why poor people have so many children is because they are poor.In third world countries state pensions,disability payment and the dole are non existant.So if you have no children and become sick the chances are that you will die.However if you have several children then they will be able to work fom an early age to support the family and to support you when you get sick,old or experience financial hardship.So in reality they don't have a choice but to have many children.As for others living with the sti's you give them,well unless it was rape they had a choice in the matter so it is as much their choice and they too must live with the consequences.

You're making it out like it's their own fault. It's not. I could have sex with somebody, and be under the impression that they are clean, and I could end up with HIV. Obviously I have to live with the consequences, but it's not my own fault that I got HIV.

Konata · 29-01-2010 08:55PM

Jay P wrote: »

You're making it out like it's their own fault. It's not. I could have sex with somebody, and be under the impression that they are clean, and I could end up with HIV. Obviously I have to live with the consequences, but it's not my own fault that I got HIV.

I agree with you completely.
This is why one night stands are a disaster in my opinion. Caught up in the flames of passion with someone you barely know, having little of no knowledge of their sexual past, it's unlikely that either of you are going to stop, sit down and have a chat about STIs. Not unthinkable, but highly improbable. You need to be responsible (and brave) enough to ask BUT you also need to be able to trust that person. It's very easy to lie about your past when it's a one night stand...

I'm very anti-one night stands

grenache · 06-02-2010 01:47AM

One nite stands are over-rated. They leave you feeling cold and emotionally detached. Too many of them and you turn into nothing more than a soulless sex machine. Relationships ftw.

phlegms · 06-02-2010 02:46AM

grenache wrote: »

Too many of them and you turn into nothing more than a soulless sex machine. .

This kind of sounds like my ideal state of being tbh..

Aisling(",) · 08-02-2010 10:07PM

grenache wrote: »

One nite stands are over-rated. They leave you feeling cold and emotionally detached. Too many of them and you turn into nothing more than a soulless sex machine. Relationships ftw.

ah i dont think one night stands are going to kill your soul but i know some people do feel bad the next morning where insted of being able to kiss the person and whatnot youre left with an empty bed.

one night stand aint my thing either,havent had any but i dont think i could handle the next morning feeling

grenache · 09-02-2010 02:21AM

Aisling(",) wrote: »

ah i dont think one night stands are going to kill your soul but i know some people do feel bad the next morning where insted of being able to kiss the person and whatnot youre left with an empty bed.

one night stand aint my thing either,havent had any but i dont think i could handle the next morning feeling

Trust me, if you have like 5 or 6 in the space of a month, you feel like a fcuking android, devoid of any warmth or feeling. You feel the words 'emotional attachment' are dirty ones. I couldn't do that now. If i'm going to sleep with someone, it'll be for the right reasons, because i like them and would like to get to know them better.

ItsAWindUp · 11-02-2010 12:03PM

phlegms wrote: »

This kind of sounds like my ideal state of being tbh..

Here here!

Catari Jaguar · 28-02-2010 12:48PM

Piste wrote: »

No I didn't say that at all.

But if I were an African who couldn't afford to raise a child and knew the risks of HIV I would abstain from sex if I couldn't access condoms. It would be plainly irresponsible not to. I wouldn't bring a child into the world only for it to suffer, and I wouldn't want to contribute to the rapid spread of HIV. No sex in the world is worth that, imho. Obviously circumstances are different for those who genuinely are unaware of the risk of HIV, but it's still damn irresponsible to create a child you can't look after..

You got any idea of the rape statistics for most African countries? Many women have no say whatsoever, if you were African, you'd be in that position. Information about AIDS/ HIV has to be learned, in a societies/ slums with very basic education where do you suppose will they learn that? Maybe in a Church funded school, but they're hardly going to be pro- condom use are they? Catch 22. There are old wive's tales that claim sleeping with a virgin cures AIDS, and very young girls get raped for their "purity". As for "affording" to raise a child, they need children to help them to work to survive in both slums (on rubbish tips) and on plantations working as child labour. And if you get raped and end up pregnant there's not much you can do about it.

You need to get off your moral high horse. It's a different world where sadly, your western views just can't apply.

Ginja Ninja · 28-02-2010 01:01PM

Lil Kitten wrote: »

You got any idea of the rape statistics for most African countries? Many women have no say whatsoever, if you were African, you'd be in that position. Information about AIDS/ HIV has to be learned, in a societies/ slums with very basic education where do you suppose will they learn that? Maybe in a Church funded school, but they're hardly going to be pro- condom use are they? Catch 22. There are old wive's tales that claim sleeping with a virgin cures AIDS, and very young girls get raped for their "purity". As for "affording" to raise a child, they need children to help them to work to survive in both slums (on rubbish tips) and on plantations working as child labour. And if you get raped and end up pregnant there's not much you can do about it.

You need to get off your moral high horse. It's a different world where sadly, your western views just can't apply.

I know this will sound quite racist and for that i'm sorry,it needs to be said: But why should we get off our "high horse" it's all well and good saying we don't know what it's like,which we don't,but why is that? It's the very same moral high horse that has helped stop the spread.

I'll make no apologies for being stuck up,if that's in comparision to rapists in a place where the belief that sexual/psychological and emotional abuse is a cure for your own problems,how about having the morals to live with your own problems? I hate to say it but life has to suck for someone, do the decent thing and accept it,they shouldn't go forcing it on anyone else

chriscross1 · 25-04-2010 12:01PM

the law is the law.

cocoa · 25-04-2010 07:01PM

chriscross1 wrote: »

the law is the law.

I want to join tautology club!

Insect Overlord · 26-04-2010 05:45PM

I've decided to de-sticky this thread. Everyone who wants to use it knows where to find it at this stage. I think my putting it at the top of the forum may have put people of posting in it more often.
I'll review this decision if the old issue of multiple new threads arrises again.

SarahBeep! · 28-05-2010 12:45AM

I don't care how vulgar I may sound...... No Rubber, No Ride! They're a must unless you're in a stable commited <b>responsible</b> relationship and decide to use a different for of contraception.

grenache wrote: »

Relationships ftw.

Nice to know I'm not the only one who thinks so =D

OopsyDaisy · 29-07-2010 11:11PM

SarahBeep! wrote: »

Nice to know I'm not the only one who thinks so =D

+1

I think there's alot of pressure on people my age (17ish) to have sex, which I think is terrible. I'm not one to care about peer pressure, I don't give a fúck what everyone else is doing, but for easier-influenced people it can really effect them.
Drunken mistakes are also aplenty in alot of people I know, both guys and girls, and without proper protection, these could lead to major issues.

30-07-2010 06:15PM

I haven't felt any peer pressure to have sex. That's probably one of the only things I've never seen peer pressure for.

Edit: You know, I'd say most of peer pressure to have sex is probably from a partner, so maybe that's why I didn't experience the peer pressure. Who knows...

Novella · 30-07-2010 06:32PM

There is a series on 4oD, The Hospital, and last weeks episode focuses on the rise of STI's amongst teenagers. I thought it was pretty interesting.

Tbh, I was never overly concerned about STI's, bit of an, "Oh, that'll never happen to me" attitude but seeing that really opened my eyes. The figures for chlamydia are actually pretty huge, and because so many people are asymptomatic, it really is impossible to know without having a test, well, if you've had unprotected sex before just.

Safe sex is the way to go.

Grindylow · 30-07-2010 06:56PM

Novella wrote: »

There is a series on 4oD, The Hospital, and last weeks episode focuses on the rise of STI's amongst teenagers. I thought it was pretty interesting.

Tbh, I was never overly concerned about STI's, bit of an, "Oh, that'll never happen to me" attitude but seeing that really opened my eyes. The figures for chlamydia are actually pretty huge, and because so many people are asymptomatic, it really is impossible to know without having a test, well, if you've had unprotected sex before just.

Safe sex is the way to go.

I saw that too.
And yeah I know quite a few people who have had to go get checked for STD's, even though they've only been in the age group of 16/17. Tbh, I think its quite sad for someone that age to be sleeping around at all.

Novella · 30-07-2010 07:01PM

Noel2k9 wrote: »

I saw that too.
And yeah I know quite a few people who have had to go get checked for STD's, even though they've only been in the age group of 16/17. Tbh, I think its quite sad for someone that age to be sleeping around at all.

I know. So many of the teenagers in it are like fifteen, sixteen and it's just so shocking. It kind of makes me sad, how quickly kids are growing up these days. I can say it, 'cause I'm all old and stuff, but god, fifteen year olds should not be in STI clinics.

I couldn't believe that one girl who'd gotten pregnant at fifteen or so. She went on to have a miscarriage, and then she was prescribed the Pill... but she wouldn't take it. "So, how have you been getting on on the Pill?", "Er... I haven't taken it.", "Why not?", "I dunno, I couldn't remember.". Are you kidding me? You can't remember to take one bloody tablet and you think you're mature enough to be having sex? Give me a break! Just, seriously.

XxMCRxBabyxX · 30-07-2010 07:09PM

Deleted User wrote: »

I haven't felt any peer pressure to have sex. That's probably one of the only things I've never seen peer pressure for.

Edit: You know, I'd say most of peer pressure to have sex is probably from a partner, so maybe that's why I didn't experience the peer pressure. Who knows...

I don't know if that's strictly. I know that before I lost my virginity both my boyfriend and I had a good bit of pressure put on us because we'd been together "so long" and not had sex. (We were together about 2 years by then)

I could feel people judging me if I said we hadn't had sex yet. It was really none of their business thought! i don't regret waiting and my boyfriend and I are still together a year and a half later so it clearly didn't affect our relationship

Grindylow · 30-07-2010 07:10PM

Novella wrote: »

I know. So many of the teenagers in it are like fifteen, sixteen and it's just so shocking. It kind of makes me sad, how quickly kids are growing up these days. I can say it, 'cause I'm all old and stuff, but god, fifteen year olds should not be in STI clinics.

I couldn't believe that one girl who'd gotten pregnant at fifteen or so. She went on to have a miscarriage, and then she was prescribed the Pill... but she wouldn't take it. "So, how have you been getting on on the Pill?", "Er... I haven't taken it.", "Why not?", "I dunno, I couldn't remember.". Are you kidding me? You can't remember to take one bloody tablet and you think you're mature enough to be having sex? Give me a break! Just, seriously.

Exactly! Channel 4 had another show about the teenagers being pregnant/underage and having sex, etc. and most of them were around 15 who were going out having sex with randomers/older guys, etc. I thought it was really bad. I'm 17 myself and I think its sick like. Why put yourself in the situation where you can end up getting something that can ruin your life, eg: HIV. I bet most of them don't even know about it and never think about it.

XxMCRxBabyxX · 30-07-2010 07:13PM

Noel2k9 wrote: »

Exactly! Channel 4 had another show about the teenagers being pregnant/underage and having sex, etc. and most of them were around 15 who were going out having sex with randomers/older guys, etc. I thought it was really bad. I'm 17 myself and I think its sick like. Why put yourself in the situation where you can end up getting something that can ruin your life, eg: HIV. I bet most of them don't even know about it and never think about it.

Some people see it as "cool" to sleep around for some reason. They don't appear to realise that everyone else just judges them and sees them as "easy." I'd rather be seen as completelly frigid than a slut personally!

OopsyDaisy · 30-07-2010 07:15PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRdJ49ItMnc

Probably not the place, and if it isn't soz! But wtf?

Grindylow · 30-07-2010 07:18PM

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

Some people see it as "cool" to sleep around for some reason. They don't appear to realise that everyone else just judges them and sees them as "easy." I'd rather be seen as completelly frigid than a slut personally!

Same! I'd rather take whatever crap I get for not sleeping around instead of getting an STD. :P Its far worse on girls though IMO. If a boy sleeps around its seen as being cool, etc. But if a girl sleeps around she gets a reputation as being a whore!

Insect Overlord · 30-07-2010 07:26PM

Noel2k9 wrote: »

Its far worse on girls though IMO. If a boy sleeps around its seen as being cool, etc. But if a girl sleeps around she gets a reputation as being a whore!

I really hate these double standards! If a girl sleeps with loads of guys she's called a slut, but if a guy does the same thing he's a "homosexual"...

:pac:

C&H sex discussion thread

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