Heathrow Airport: No Scan, No Fly

CredoInUnumDeum · 02-02-2010 09:41PM #1

They've those naked body scanners in Heathrow now. Complete with goon operator who can see your nads (as well as your wife's/children's private parts if it takes their fancy).

It seems the "terrorists" have won. Then again, the tentacles of totalitarianism are even worse than the so-called "terrorists". The fact is that you're more likely to die from MRSA in a State-run hospital than you are from the perceived dangers of Muslims in caves in Afghanistan.

smellslikeshoes · 02-02-2010 09:43PM

........

4zn76tysfajdxp · 02-02-2010 09:44PM

CredoInUnumDeum wrote: »

They've those naked body scanners in Heathrow now. Complete with goon operator who can see your nads (as well as your wife's/children's private parts if it takes their fancy).

It's such a relief to have sexy children like my kids. I couldn't imagine the embarrassment otherwise.

Run_to_da_hills · 02-02-2010 09:45PM

Not surprising, next it will be "no microchip in the hand no fly". :rolleyes:

Kiera · 02-02-2010 09:50PM

Run_to_da_hills wrote: »

Not surprising, next it will be "no microchip in the hand no fly". :rolleyes:

I'll tell you one thing RTDH, you wont be allowed keep your tinfoil hat on with that machine :P

phasers · 02-02-2010 09:50PM

Note to self: get al qaeda tattoo removed

jumpguy · 02-02-2010 09:51PM

Note to self: Wipe arse thoroughly before flight.

cian1500ww · 02-02-2010 09:52PM

phasers wrote: »

Note to self: get al qaeda tattoo removed

I don't think tatoo's show up so you should be safe enough

AckwelFoley · 02-02-2010 09:52PM

is there an email address where i can send my cv?

Overheal · 02-02-2010 09:53PM

I think for the first few days I'd be a little immature about it but after you've scanned your first ten thousand passengers or so I am sure the security agents will be bored to tears of the technology other than as a means to ensure your safety.

MagicMarker · 02-02-2010 09:57PM

How long does it take to get scanned? Can't see this helping queues!!

Mike 1972 · 02-02-2010 09:57PM

The first time I flew out of Amsterdam had to go through one of things (In retrospect It was a good decision not to bring souviners

)

The second time I flew out of Amsterdam I didnt have to go through one of things but they gave me a nice information leaflet about it

Go figure ?

Run_to_da_hills · 02-02-2010 09:58PM

Kiera wrote: »

I'll tell you one thing RTDH, you wont be allowed keep your tinfoil hat on with that machine :P

That tinfoil hat would become useful to protect your crotch from harmful backscatter radiation. :eek:

02-02-2010 09:58PM

i used one in moscow about 2 years ago. i'm so happy i could brighten up that nice blonde girls day

4zn76tysfajdxp · 02-02-2010 09:58PM

cian1500ww wrote: »

I don't think tatoo's show up so you should be safe enough

What if it's carved onto one of your bones?

...

Seriously.

phasers · 02-02-2010 09:58PM

MagicMarker wrote: »

How long does it take to get scanned? Can't see this helping queues!!

It probably depends on how good looking you are.

Prof.Badass · 02-02-2010 10:00PM

snyper wrote: »

is there an email address where i can send my cv?

.

If you were a total legend you'd leak loads of pics of celebrities and politicians under this scanner onto the interwebz, stop this thing in it's tracks (aswell as providing hot naked pics of celebs and funny embarassing naked pics of politicians

).

Mike 1972 · 02-02-2010 10:01PM

Run_to_da_hills wrote: »

useful to protect your crotch from harmful backscatter radiation. :eek:

According to my information leaflet it uses "harmless centimetre waves"

Although that might be just spoof to fool Al Quieda. I bet it uses Inch waves really

AnonoBoy · 02-02-2010 10:04PM

Oh suck it up and go through the scanner.... some of us have flights to catch!

Bajingo · 02-02-2010 10:06PM

CredoInUnumDeum wrote: »

They've those naked body scanners in Heathrow now. Complete with goon operator who can see your nads (as well as your wife's/children's private parts if it takes their fancy).

It seems the "terrorists" have won. Then again, the tentacles of totalitarianism are even worse than the so-called "terrorists". The fact is that you're more likely to die from MRSA in a State-run hospital than you are from the perceived dangers of Muslims in caves in Afghanistan.

Eh I doubt this...

Im heading there soon..cant wait to have a shot of this thing now:D

Run_to_da_hills · 02-02-2010 10:09PM

Mike 1972 wrote: »

According to my information leaflet it uses "harmless centimetre waves"

Thats what they tell us. :rolleyes:

I doub't if these devices are safe with pregnant women and just like the H1N1 Swine flu vaccine the public will of course have the wool pulled over their eyes.

Kiera · 02-02-2010 10:12PM

Run_to_da_hills wrote: »

That tinfoil hat would become useful to protect your crotch from harmful backscatter radiation. :eek:

Nah my piercings will do that

TheZohanS · 02-02-2010 10:12PM

phasers wrote: »

Note to self: get al qaeda tattoo removed

What tattoo did you give him?

Dave! · 02-02-2010 10:13PM

Must make sure I don't have a woody when I walk through ! That could be embarrassing

cian1500ww · 02-02-2010 10:14PM

Benton Obnoxious Antenna wrote: »

What if it's carved onto one of your bones?

...

Seriously.

I don't think bones show up on them, could be wrong though.

dilallio · 02-02-2010 10:14PM

.
I'm fully prepared for these scanners

.

Kiera · 02-02-2010 10:15PM

Dave! wrote: »

Must make sure I don't have a woody when I walk through ! That could be embarrassing

cian1500ww wrote: »

I don't think bones show up on them, could be wrong though.

MaybeLogic · 02-02-2010 10:15PM

You could really confuse the scanner guy/gal and wear a strap-on, backwards.

grezz · 02-02-2010 10:16PM

this is exactly what the terrorists wanted its like an ira bombscare its aim was to cause as much disruption as possible which they have achieved

Kiera · 02-02-2010 10:16PM

MaybeLogic wrote: »

You could really confuse the scanner guy/gal and wear a strap-on, backwards.

Or by putting it inside you

cian1500ww · 02-02-2010 10:17PM

Must make sure I don't have a woody when I walk through ! That could be embarrassing

I don't think boners show up on them, could be wrong though.

Kiera wrote: »

Much better :rolleyes:

Heathrow Airport: No Scan, No Fly

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