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Some Funnies

  • 25-07-2009 05:59PM
    #1
    Rufus.T.Firefly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭


    Three buddies die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the pearly gates.

    They are all asked,

    "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?

    The first guy says,

    "I would like to hear them say that I was the greatest doctor of my time, and a great family man."

    The second guy says,

    "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

    The last guy replies,

    "I would like to hear them say... LOOK!!! HE'S MOVING!!!!!"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A Wilkinson Sword lorry almost crashed into a Gillette truck earlier today....

    Both drivers said it was the closest shave they've ever had...

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    At the first hole on a golf course, a man tees off and hits a hard drive, but the ball hooks badly and goes off the course entirely.

    The man figures it's a lost ball, puts another ball down and starts again.

    He plays nine holes when a policeman comes up to him:

    "Sir, did you lose a ball a while back?"

    "Yes, I did. Why?"

    "Well, sir, I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you.

    You see, your ball struck a cyclist, causing him to swerve right into the path of an oncoming bus.

    The bus hit the cyclist and then rammed head-on into a truck coming from the opposite direction.

    At the moment the casualties are twenty-one dead and we don't know how many injured."

    The man says,

    "Oh, this is dreadful!.... I ... I had no idea.... is there anything I can do?"


    "Well, sir, the next time you want to hold the club a little more to the right, like this..."


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