what to do about prob nothing

Megatron · 16-10-2002 10:39AM #1

ok my GF has been away working for the last 2 months well it was only meant to be 6 weeks but she extend it , now it was hard enough for me to agree to the 6 weeks, we could of found a way to get around this but she wanted to do it for the experence, so i had no problem with that, it's jus that she has changed and she won't even talk to me about it. now usually with her it means she has something not very nice to tell me and going that this is the case it is driving me nuts , i have asked her if there is anything wrong but she always says no....

what i am looking for is a way to get her to talk to me without offending here or making her think i don't trust her, now saying that i do but it's my own wanting to know that has me going mental.

Any help here would be hot

Beruthiel · 16-10-2002 10:55AM

well, going on what you said, I am guessing that there maybe something on her mind alright, but the fact she is saying nothing probably means that she hasn't exactly worked out what she is going to do in the long run. In other words, she is thinking about the next step before saying anything to you.
or
maybe there is nothing.
or
maybe she has been asked to stay even longer and is trying to decide whither she will or not.

In otherwords, ask her again!
I don't know what your approach is, but if you say something like, I'm missing you honeybunny and I was just wondering when you are coming home.....
when talking to someone in this situation it is better to use "I" eg: I am missing you, I am feeling out of the loop... once you use the word "you" (eg: you are not being very helpful here) this tends to put a person on the defensive.....
don't know if that makes any sense....?

Gordon · 16-10-2002 10:56AM

In this case asking her what if anything is wrong will just make your situation worse. The best thing to do I think is just find out what she is up to. Is it good fun what she is doing?... Why? How does she feel when she is doing this job, what things is she getting mad at and what things are making her happy?

Don't look for what is wrong, look for what is right.

edit - and what she ^ said.

WhiteWashMan · 16-10-2002 11:05AM

duffy you scruffy bugger.

did you meet her over the internet too?

log in as someone else and see fi shes there and chat her up.
she mnight cyber you and you will know that she is doing the dirt on you.

either that or she is just missing you or something.
stop worrying about it.
something will happen, or it wont, worrying wont fix either.

i thought you were of to sweden?

daveg · 16-10-2002 01:34PM

I hate this situation. Best thing to do is play it cool. Worst thing you can do is pressure her. Just chill and let her tell you in her own time. If you keep asking her and pressuring her and acting all needy if she has doubts about your relationship you will probably push her over the edge.

frea · 16-10-2002 02:38PM

.

highlight · 16-10-2002 02:47PM

agree totally with Dave g

However original poster, there may be some clue in your original statement that it was 'hard enough for you to agree to 6 weeks'. That to me shows that you feel you have control over your gf's life. I know if my bf said that to me, I'd be off. I know he wouldn't like me going, and I know he'd miss me, but he'd fully support me. Does she feel you support her?

odee · 16-10-2002 11:27PM

It's a hard one, without knowing the girl.
In my vaaaaaaaaaaaaaast experience, the only answer is: listen to yourself.
If you are panic-strcken, tell her.
If you are jealous(without even knowing why),tell her.
If she sounds like she's having fun elsewhere, let her go.
Old cliche but if she's not running back to you, she may be happy elsewhere.
But give her the chance to explain.

Saruman · 17-10-2002 01:22PM

You sure its not you who has changed during your time apart? And there is nothing wrong with her at all? Or at least you have not changed but you are suspicous of her time away and what she got up to so you are withouth realising it imagining a change in her? Probably not the case but just make sure its not that.

sceptre · 18-10-2002 01:21AM

I think she's going to dump you.

I don't mean to be mean but that's what I'd think if I were in your situation.

Megatron · 18-10-2002 10:35AM

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
duffy you scruffy bugger.

did you meet her over the internet too?

log in as someone else and see fi shes there and chat her up.
she mnight cyber you and you will know that she is doing the dirt on you.

either that or she is just missing you or something.
stop worrying about it.
something will happen, or it wont, worrying wont fix either.

i thought you were of to sweden?

NO it was Finland and yes i am here now in finland.
DIxon is in China at the mo .....
Well things have got a bit better with my missus so we will see how things go for now. BTW she is here in finland with me she was gone for 2 months so it could be just the amount of time spent apart or something...
i don't know ...

P.S: PS2 withdrawl is nothing to be laughed at

WhiteWashMan · 21-10-2002 03:04PM

i wouldnt worry.
a lot of it is to do with feeling left out of your partners life if they are away and they are enjoying themselves.
you tend to feel as if they dont need you to enjoy themselves and it can get you down.
just try to get over it best you can.

whats dixon doing in china?
what are you doing in finland?

hahahaha, take it blackburn from last week

Megatron · 23-10-2002 03:46AM

well who ever said it in an earlyer post they were right, we have spereated while she goes off back to sea for anouther 7 weeks.

So with my money situation being as bad as it is i have moved back to Ireland so sorry eamo that question has been answered. As for dixon he is teaching english to people in China... mind you with his accent it maybe a bit strange.

Well i've been up for 28 hours now and i think i will leave now and get a bit of sleepers......

Thanks to everyone who replyed and i will ( if anyone is intered) post some of the deatils of what happend and how things came to head on Sat.

WEll good night and

Later SKaters

Beruthiel · 23-10-2002 01:16PM

Thanks to everyone who replyed and i will ( if anyone is intered) post some of the deatils of what happend and how things came to head on Sat.

sorry to hear that Meg, I hope things work out for you

WhiteWashMan · 23-10-2002 01:20PM

well, at least your mammy will make you wash behind your ears

Megatron · 25-10-2002 01:09PM

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
well, at least your mammy will make you wash behind your ears

FIrst time for everything !!!!

what to do about prob nothing

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