Counselling - what to expect?

LegacyUser · 18-05-2009 12:26PM #1

For years I've suffered from what I can only describe as depression.

I have low self-esteem and confidence which affects me in everything from work to relationships. I feel like I'm not intelligent/funny/witty enough when dealing with other people and I tend to just withdraw into myself. Sometimes I get so bad that I fret about even speaking to people and the thought picking up the phone at work leaves me panicking. I have no motivation to do anything most of the time & work & college are both suffering.

I have also suffered bulimia on and off since I was about 15, nearlty 10 years now. I am so paranoid about my body. My breasts are too small and everything else just seems so big. I get worried that my boyfriend see's all these other visions of perfection that seem to be everywhere and I just don't even compare to them.

I do have periods where I don't feel so bad. And when I sit back and think rationally about things that I am being silly. I know that I am actually quite intelligent, maybe not funny but certainly I can be witty. I'm a size 8 so i'm not fat and I'm not unattractive. But I can't help feeling the way I feel.

I've had enough, I don't want to spend my whole life being unhappy and letting my moods affect people I care about. So I want to seek help. I'm no good at talking about this stuff & I'm afraid I might just clam up if I go to speak to someone about it.

Has anyone been to counselling for a similar problem. Did it work for you? How long did you ahve to go for? Do you have to be referred by a GP (the thought of talking to my GP about this is really putting me off).

Also is it expensive and can it be covered by health insurance or anything?

Any advice would be appreciated

LegacyUser · 18-05-2009 01:17PM

Hi OP,

It is scary getting your head around going but it will be the best decision of your life and the best investment you could make in yourself.

I have done a lot of therapy i just finished last november and i had been seeing that therapist for 3 years. I was in tears leaving her and she with me because it was such a great experience. During that time i went from fragile insecure abused girl to strong confident reborn woman.

You would not believe how much my life has changed, I had had a nervous breakdown and had suffered from depression for years and like you i just felt the suffering was never ending.

It really can change, it is tough in the beginning but as a female i quite liked waffling about myself each week and learning more about myself.

I had no money in the beginning to afford it but there was some government funded therapists i used before but i found a professional psychotherapist was the best person for me because she had the best technique and qualification for me, it was 60 a week but i managed to get the money every week, once i had committed to it the money just came for it, and i know it was because for the first time in my life i decided to commit to myself.

Also my boyfriend needed therapy too but he was the shyest guy in the world, like very sweet and gentle and the thoughts of him going just terrified him, so i brought him into my therapy for 6 sessions and he was so surprised with how easy it was after that time, he went on to do a further 2 years with himself and then him and his dad went to therapy together and it had such a positive knock on effect. All of his issues stemmed from his dads alcholism and when they did the therapy together they were able to find a new beginning together, when you get to that place emotionally nothing can stop you in life.

You do not have to be referred by your GP, tbh i never found my GP very good, i just looked for there best person for my issues, there is a place in Dublin called bodywise which concentrates on the eating disorder area, but once you find someone you can trust and has good qualifications you will be set.

I can only recommend it, it will really enhance your life for the long term, like it may be tough in the beginning but you will benefit for the rest of your life, thats why i think its the best investment you will ever make.

star-pants · 18-05-2009 01:19PM

Unregistered wrote: »

I've had enough, I don't want to spend my whole life being unhappy and letting my moods affect people I care about. So I want to seek help. I'm no good at talking about this stuff & I'm afraid I might just clam up if I go to speak to someone about it.

Has anyone been to counselling for a similar problem. Did it work for you? How long did you ahve to go for? Do you have to be referred by a GP (the thought of talking to my GP about this is really putting me off).

Also is it expensive and can it be covered by health insurance or anything?

Any advice would be appreciated

I got to that point - having enough and wanting help. It's a hard step to take but it's worth it.

I'm only a few sessions in but it is helpful to get things off your chest, maybe get someone elses perspective on the situation, or helping you with solutions.
As to how long you go for, everyones different, depends on what you need counselling for / and going at your own pace. There's no set time.
You don't have to be referred by your GP but it might be a good idea to get an idea of who you could go to from them (but you don't have to) to make sure you're going to a reputable place.

It can be expensive, again where you go/who you see. But some places do have a sort of sliding scale for those who are unemployed etc. Health service doesn't really cover it, some like VHI/Quinn (those types of personal health cover) do help cover a % of the cost.

It does seem daunting at first, but you know yourself you want to get better, you want to not feel like you do every day and be worried about things. It's to make a better you, a happier you, and it'll be worth it.

LegacyUser · 18-05-2009 03:43PM

Unregistered wrote: »

I've had enough, I don't want to spend my whole life being unhappy and letting my moods affect people I care about.

Go with this OP. It's bloody difficult as hell to take that first step and admit that it's become too much for you, but once you start on the journey you'll realise that holding your hands up and admitting it's too much to deal with alone is a very liberating thing.

Do your research and book an appointment for a chat with someone. You don't have to commit to anything, just go along and see if you feel comfortable with them, and if you get that gut feeling about them, commit to a few sessions and build it from there.

Basically a good therapist is like a close friend, without any judgement. You can open up, you can cry, you can bawl, you can shout and you can spend the time learning about where all your issues have stemmed from, without there being any repercussions as there usually is in your every day life. It's a safe space to do all that and learn to understand and appreciate yourself.

Personally, I went to a psychiatrist for food issues and the self esteem / identity issues that went with that, but found the treatment a bit too formulaic and not suited to my needs. Shortly after I saw a psychotherapist for about a year and it was the best thing for me - it basically ousted me from that negative place and gave me back 'me' again, if that makes any sense.

I was feeling like I had lost myself to all those issues and the therapy made me realise that I hadn't, I was just afraid and hurt and angry and any number of things...and those issues were my way of dealing with it.

There's no 'set' time on the treatment - your therapist will basically be there for as long as you need them, you will know when your work is done.

Honestly, this thread is making me consider going back to mine again, as I feel like I could do with taking the time out to understand myself again, things are getting a bit crazy at the moment and it's easy to resort back to what you know...so in a sense, it's an endless journey, you're always learning. But a good therapist will allow you to learn how to cope with life's struggles in a healthier way.

Counselling - what to expect?

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