Ditch a friend

LegacyUser · 16-05-2009 02:15PM #1

How does one go about making it clear to someone that you no longer wish to be there friend without hurting them or coming across as an asshole?
I have two friends, one has moved away but will be back someday, the other is still living not far from me, thats the one I want to cut out.
He cant think for himself and is incredibly needy despite this he is a good person and I dont want to hurt him. He has rang me numerous times and I either didnt answer or answered and said I was busy when he suggested we do something. He still has'nt gotten the hint.
I never gain anything from hanging around with this person and usually just end up frustrated with his attitude, and how he behaves. Im worried Im a bad person becasue of this. I'm also worried that on my other friends return we'll be divided becasue I no longer wish to speak to this guy but do enjoy the company of the friend who is abroad.
What can I do, I really really want nothing to do with this person. Hhe cant think for himself, he feesl he has a right of control over other relationships between other people becasue they were introduced by him, he blind to his own faults, he drinks purely to releave his insecurities about himself.
Im just different to him we were good friends once but now I just dont see his appeal as a person, he is a good person just not a very good friend.
Am I a asshole to want rid of this person??

R.D. aka MR.D · 16-05-2009 03:17PM

Hints aren't a good road to go down.

next time he calls say, listen no offence but i'd rather not hang out with you. we're just different people. maybe i'll see you when so and so gets back.

if he askes why be a man and tell him!! also remember that its your opinion just because you think hes not a good person or friend doesn't mean he isn't.

if you don't want to be friends don't but just tell him and you would be pestered anymore.

honesty is the best policy.

poisonated · 16-05-2009 06:20PM

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

Hints aren't a good road to go down.

next time he calls say, listen no offence but i'd rather not hang out with you. we're just different people. maybe i'll see you when so and so gets back.

if he askes why be a man and tell him!! also remember that its your opinion just because you think hes not a good person or friend doesn't mean he isn't.

if you don't want to be friends don't but just tell him and you would be pestered anymore.

honesty is the best policy.

although "honest is the best policy" is a bit cheesey.I do agree with him... theres no point giving these "subtle" hints... because it will just end up hurting him more.If you dont like him you dont like him theres nothing more to it just tell him that you are different people and you would rather not hang arount with him any longer...by the way for all I know he could be a great guy

by the way,your not an asshole.. if you dont like him,you dont like him...neediness isnt a good quality but ask yourself if his neediness has something to do with his fear of abandonment,did has father run out on him for example... its just a shot in the dark

Ditch a friend

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