I hate people

LegacyUser · 08-05-2009 07:53PM #1

This isn't some teenage angsty rant, btw. Basically I've come to the conclusion that I can't stand 95% of people. I'm a 24 year old female, and I would be considered a nice person. I always give people the benefit on the doubt (without being blind or a doormat), I try to see the good in people, I'm friendly and smily to new people, etc. Yet time and time again I'm disappointed. It's not like I even expect much, but people always turn out to be fake, backstabbers, two faced, dishonest, mean. This is in a work and personal context. It's especially with women (so many times I'm bitched about and given the cold shoulder for no apparent reason) but sometimes with men as well. So many times people have done something so completely mean such as make up stories or lies about me just to make themselves look better.

I've spent years and years telling myself most people are grand but now I pretty much have given up trusting anyone but my family, 2-3 close friends and my OH. I'm lonely a lot of the time but I just can't be bothered with all the BS and fakeness anymore. I find I'm becoming more and more disillusioned and bitter. I walk around in a bad mood and glare at people where I used to be happy and smily. I hate that I'm starting to be like this but I'm just fed up of everyone.

prinz · 08-05-2009 09:47PM

What a pleasant way to look at the world. Bitter is right. You're on a slippery slope and the only way is down, more and more bitterness, detachment, apathy etc. Change your mindset now before it's too late.

trevo · 08-05-2009 09:55PM

i'm a 25 year old male and i feel the same.. nothing going right no matter what and even turning on the tv will get you down!!
thats why i'm trying to get out of here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KTRIC · 08-05-2009 10:01PM

30 year old male here and I've come to same conclusion as the OP.

People are C*unts, I really don't know how the human race has survived this long !!

John Mason · 08-05-2009 10:04PM

i hate everyone but i a happy and fulfilling life

i just ignore everyone i hate and dont let them bother me

Nervous Wreck · 08-05-2009 10:18PM

I felt the same for a good 4 years there. It's true, there are a lot of horrible, fake, untrustworthy, shallow, greedy, terrible people in the world. Some of them are totally unsalvagable.......

But as I've let myself realise lately, people have layers. And for every horrible c*nt out there, there's 100 amazing people. Some people may be fake and horrible on the surface but if you give them the chance, most can really prove themselves.

How dyou think people view you? Bitter? Cynical? Moany? That's the message you're sending out. But as you said, you're a nice person underneath. Yer not the only one with layers, OP. Take people with a grain of salt until they prove that you can take them otherwise. That way, you won't get so frustrated, and you might even make a few new friends.

LegacyUser · 08-05-2009 10:21PM

self-pity is a death that has no resurrection, a sinkhole from which no rescuing hand can drag you because you have chosen to sink.

Loads of people think that they are misunderstood and think "why cant other people be nice and friendly like me". That kind of thinking is poisonous to a person. Perhaps you backstab, bitch about people etc without even realising?

dny123456 · 08-05-2009 11:07PM

OP, i hate to admit it, but I probably agree with you on the whole. Most people are self serving, while they won't admit it, or even recognize it. Your family, you mostly can rely on. At least you have that.... and the internet, we're all nice on the internet. Well mostly. Well I am anyway. *hugs*

zardoxer bent · 08-05-2009 11:21PM

misanthrope wrote: »

This isn't some teenage angsty rant, btw. Basically I've come to the conclusion that I can't stand 95% of people. I'm a 24 year old female, and I would be considered a nice person. I always give people the benefit on the doubt (without being blind or a doormat), I try to see the good in people, I'm friendly and smily to new people, etc. Yet time and time again I'm disappointed. It's not like I even expect much, but people always turn out to be fake, backstabbers, two faced, dishonest, mean. This is in a work and personal context. It's especially with women (so many times I'm bitched about and given the cold shoulder for no apparent reason) but sometimes with men as well. So many times people have done something so completely mean such as make up stories or lies about me just to make themselves look better.

I've spent years and years telling myself most people are grand but now I pretty much have given up trusting anyone but my family, 2-3 close friends and my OH. I'm lonely a lot of the time but I just can't be bothered with all the BS and fakeness anymore. I find I'm becoming more and more disillusioned and bitter. I walk around in a bad mood and glare at people where I used to be happy and smily. I hate that I'm starting to be like this but I'm just fed up of everyone.

Chin Up!

beks101 · 08-05-2009 11:38PM

misanthrope wrote: »

It's not like I even expect much, but people always turn out to be fake, backstabbers, two faced, dishonest, mean. This is in a work and personal context. It's especially with women (so many times I'm bitched about and given the cold shoulder for no apparent reason) but sometimes with men as well. So many times people have done something so completely mean such as make up stories or lies about me just to make themselves look better.

You've had a series of unfortunate encounters and/or are not as glass-half-full about people as you would like to think.

Plus, office politics has a lot to answer for and you need to step back from the work situation and realise that it can bring out the worst in people - working in close proximity with the same group of people, with so many egos and reputations and even careers at stake, will just do that.

Step back from the bitchy girls and don't lower yourself to that, you'll only turn into someone you hate. Girls like that rarely change.

Ditch the negative attitude about people, you'll only attract more of the same, but it's ok to have your wits about you and 'love many, trust few', or something to that effect.

I don't 'hate' people but if I'm totally honest I'd say I trust my family completely and possibly one or two close friends and that's about it.

And I'm a people person

O'Coonassa · 09-05-2009 12:03AM

People are funny like cute little frightened chimpy apes, don't hate them they can't help it.

HouseHippo · 09-05-2009 12:07AM

People are A-holes......We should start some sort of group

juke · 09-05-2009 12:14AM

misanthrope wrote: »

Yet time and time again I'm disappointed. It's not like I even expect much, but people always turn out to be fake, backstabbers, two faced, dishonest, mean.
I find I'm becoming more and more disillusioned and bitter. I walk around in a bad mood and glare at people where I used to be happy and smily. I hate that I'm starting to be like this but I'm just fed up of everyone.

Your thoughts disturb me, not because you've been let down, but because it's affecting your attitude with everyone meet. These are difficult times - that affect people differently. I'm bleak these day and I suspect a moany cow to my good friends. Pay cuts do that!

You're in your 20's. Your generation is experiencing an enormous change in (economic) attitudes. The selfish consumerist mentality has no choice but to change.

But, as you can see from previous replies, there's plenty of people that think like you - so it seems maybe you need to look at the circles you frequent?

There are so many good people out there for your to meet - don't glare, Smile. Otherwise "they" are defeating you - You're not alone. In fact, I think people's attitudes are also changing.

Clearly I don't have the magic answer.... but OP you appear to be a great person - don't let previous disappointments scar you future - you are better than that.

bug · 09-05-2009 12:20AM

I'm not too fond of people either.

Although then I reconcile myself with the fact that I am people.

zuroph · 09-05-2009 12:36AM

"I hate general public!" - Alan Partridge

People are dicks mate, that's life. Just approach it with a wary and cautious attitude, and expect the worse, and people will surprise you though. You'll meet someone who proves to be the exception to this rule, and ul be amazed.

For me, for years I couldnt understand why some music was popular, why some politicians got re-elected, why some movies made millions etc etc. Then it just clicked. I had too high hopes for humans. Some people are idiots. Its evident on so many threads on Boards. Its personal taste man. some people you'll totally despise because they represent everything you hate. Some people will blow you away with their honesty. Dont hold it against people you dont like, just laugh it off.

Years ago I adopted the attitude that life is a sick sick film or computer game. Every time something is going well, its going to throw something **** at you, just to fcuk you up. I now kind of enjoy this sh1t happening, its funny in an ironic kind of way. Laugh it all off.

Sorry If I'm kind of rambling, I'm a bit pissed. But just go with the flow, and dislike people if you want, but dont let it bother you.
Today, some woman shouted at me because she walked her kid off the footpath in front of my car while I was driving past. It was my fault that I had to brake to stop from killing her kid. I laughed. Idiot. The world is full of idiots like her, and their kids are learning life lessons from idiot parents, how could they be any better? Humans arent going to be perfect, we're only as good as the idiots we learn from. If you realise this and dont let it get to you, ul be fine.

Basically, Dont have high hopes for people and time and time again you'll be pleasantly surprised. once in a while you'll meet someone who just amazes you, they'll be the person you were beginning to believe didnt exist.

Don't hate yourself for hating people. It's fine.

DarkJager · 09-05-2009 09:40AM

I'm the same. The majority of people aren't even worth wasting breath on. Some people try to be overly complex, without realising they look and act like complete tossers. Some people have extreme vanity about themselves, which is patethic to say the least. Some people are natural "snakes", they don't deserve trust as they'll more than likely disapoint or backstab you in the end anyway. Some people just try to too hard to paint some sort of glamorous and arrogant demeanor on themselves, while being completley devoid of any personality at all.

This life is one big garden, and you always have to keep your eyes open for the rats that will try to get into your space. Saying that, you will occasionally encounter someone who will break that wall you have built, and they are the people worth holding on to as friends or partners. The rest of the cesspit of humanity: the wasters, the posers, the snakes, the rats, the backstabbers, the gossipers, the vain, can all waste away and rot in their shallow vapid lives.

waraf · 09-05-2009 10:02AM

I love you guys

Seriously OP you need to chill or by the time you're 40 you will be seriously bitter. You need to surround yourself with good and decent people and stay away from the negative ones. It's as simple as that.

nyarlothothep · 09-05-2009 10:48AM

I would say the world of people is a better place than it has ever been in the past, overall although it still sucks a lot. The enlightened ones are mocked in the present but win out in the future or else there is no future and all humanity will be extinct. So its win win. Don't become an asshole though, then they've beaten you but be judicious about people.

Taltos · 09-05-2009 03:02PM

Know where you are coming from op.
Just make sure you are able to rise above that negativity and leave it either in the office or outside the house.

Think like you I always give folk the benefit and believe in the best.
Instead now I just make sure I surround myself with family and good friends, the idiots etc - well they can keep on talking but tbh it is just noise to me now. You have to realise that folk are just human and are prone to errors - case in point look at our government - can you identify one person there you could have a drink with without wanting to pour it all over them???

Don't feel you are weird or alone to be like this, it's a fact of life - you cannot like everyone, and depending on your job etc you could be exposing yourself to people you genuinely don't like. Just make sure you do not focus on this, instead find something you and your oh enjoy doing. You never know trying something totally new might open you up to meeting a whole different type of person - those that you will feel comfortable in being around.

Tar.Aldarion · 09-05-2009 03:06PM

I also don't like most people, they are cruel, greedy, petty, slow, etc. Meh. Don't let it bother you, find some good ones.

Nolanger · 09-05-2009 03:07PM

At least if you hate people you won't be foolish enough to lend a so-called friend money and waste far too much time trying to get it back.

djScarey · 09-05-2009 04:24PM

"Most people lead lives of quiet desperation." Henry D. Thoreau.

Don't believe the infamous but very popular smiley in the dark coping mechanism, misanthrope. Most of the time, people will pull it off you, some with a fist. Better be honest, open and real, as you are. It will take time, but you will find a few but quality friends and have a good laugh, not a cheesy fake grin and shallow acquaintances.......

LegacyUser · 10-05-2009 08:59AM

I hate people too, i am in my 30s, i ve work all my life with people, i do put on a smile or a friendly gesture to say yes i am happy talking to you, but sometimes you just dont be in the mood, you know its just one of those things in life. everyone goes through it.... But for people that work in the line of the public we are not allowed to let that show. Sure in offices and especially working with women it can get really bitchy and clicks are always forming for me personally i stay clear of all that crap- how can your working buddy become your best friend overnight ? - nah to dangerous i would say.
Two things i always told (1) is stay away from, self centre individuals, who love been a centre of attention and loud.
(2) Be listener but dont take part or get involved in anything, keep your head down,
also best to find people who are similar to you, who share your interest, have the same pet, dont blah blah to much and just listen.
good luck !

RossFixxxed · 11-05-2009 08:31AM

This isn't some teenage angsty rant, btw.

I'm afriad that is is mate.

Basically I've come to the conclusion that I can't stand 95% of people.

Does believing that EVERYONE else is bad make you good?

I'm a 24 year old female, and I would be considered a nice person. I always give people the benefit on the doubt (without being blind or a doormat), I try to see the good in people, I'm friendly and smily to new people, etc. Yet time and time again I'm disappointed.

Why is that, what expectation do you have that you are so often disappointed? Why do so many people let you down? And since we're quoting in this thread: "Yes, it is the children who are wrong" Seymore Skinner.

It's not like I even expect much, but people always turn out to be fake, backstabbers, two faced, dishonest, mean. This is in a work and personal context. It's especially with women (so many times I'm bitched about and given the cold shoulder for no apparent reason) but sometimes with men as well. So many times people have done something so completely mean such as make up stories or lies about me just to make themselves look better.

Why is this, nobody really ever does to me. Sure I've some total swines in my life but most people, I find, are just doing their own thing, and are busy living their lives, they're not bothered doing all this conspiracy stuff.

I've spent years and years telling myself most people are grand but now I pretty much have given up trusting anyone but my family, 2-3 close friends and my OH. I'm lonely a lot of the time but I just can't be bothered with all the BS and fakeness anymore. I find I'm becoming more and more disillusioned and bitter. I walk around in a bad mood and glare at people where I used to be happy and smily. I hate that I'm starting to be like this but I'm just fed up of everyone.

AHA!! Here we go. Bad mood all the time, glare at people, fed up....? Depressed maybe? Maybe something more major wrong in your life? I don't know but again are 95% of the people in the world bad or is there something wrong with you?

You have to look at yourself and wonder why all these people have it in for you? Is there something wrong with you?

Most people, from my experience, are actually pretty nice. They have their own lives to live too so they're not bothered with all this rubbish.

You sound like a 14 year old listening to good charlotte and writing poetry.

I think you need to grow up and maybe talk to someone about the fact you are SO PARANOID and so unhappy all the time.

Sorry to come off as attacking but you do have a problem and it seems to be with you. Do consider some councelling/GP etc.

R

Queen-Mise · 11-05-2009 09:04AM

i like the line - i like humanity but dislike people.

No one asked you to like everyone. I wouldnt think the nicest person in world likes everyone. Be grateful your not them.

I was having a coffee in a beer garden sat morning. My friend went for more coffee. I was listening to conversation at next table. 4 women and a man, it was viscous what they were saying about ppl. I was grateful i didnt know them :-):-) not everyone is nice

SueWho · 11-05-2009 09:05AM

"Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none" William Shakespeare

I agree with you that most people will let you down. I'm sure you and I(and all of us saints here on this forum!!) let people down, disappoint others etc. at times too. BUT I also believe that 99% of people are not bad, they just do bad things sometimes. We are all human and pretty weak. There's still lots of good in everyone.

I just have zero expectations of people: when they do something mean it's no surprise and when they do something nice it's a plus!

Try some random acts of kindness when you meet people in shops. on public transport etc. Help an old person or whatever and you'll feel quite happy. (A) because you'll probably get a warm welcome and (B) because you can feel smug that you're a nice person.

LegacyUser · 11-05-2009 02:38PM

OP is right. Most people are "fake, backstabbers, two faced, dishonest, mean" etc. Reason being is that everyone is out for number ONE - themselves.

Most people have a couple of people close to them (i.e. husband/wife/kids/parents/ siblings/close friend) and these are the only people they care about. It's ultimately THEM against the world! This is their little circle and nobody outside it exists.

Making new friends is over-rated and rarely turns into a long-lasting, loyal and trusting friendship nowadays. It's just the way things are. Being bitter about it won't help though.

OP: Just get on with things and be yourself. Don't concentrate on finding friends. Spend your time and energy on people that matter and care about you as much as you care about them. You are doing the right thing being nice to people when you first meet them as there's no point in being rude or ignorant. Also, because they may actually turn out to be nice people every once in a while. But I do agree with you for the most part. Most people are how you described (in my experience). It sucks, but it's the reality.

RossFixxxed · 11-05-2009 03:37PM

SueWho wrote: »

"Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none" William Shakespeare

I agree with you that most people will let you down. I'm sure you and I(and all of us saints here on this forum!!) let people down, disappoint others etc. at times too. BUT I also believe that 99% of people are not bad, they just do bad things sometimes. We are all human and pretty weak. There's still lots of good in everyone.

I just have zero expectations of people: when they do something mean it's no surprise and when they do something nice it's a plus!

Try some random acts of kindness when you meet people in shops. on public transport etc. Help an old person or whatever and you'll feel quite happy. (A) because you'll probably get a warm welcome and (B) because you can feel smug that you're a nice person.

I don't get the spirit that's coming across in this post, and I picked this one because it's not a tirade. The thing that gets me is I'm am not a particularly amazing, likable or quiet person. I'm a bit of a bastard to be honest, but people don't let me down all the time like you guys mention.... I'm self sufficient to a degree but generally if people offer to help they will, and I wonder what expectation you guys have? People aren't there to hold your hand while you wee like.. You gotta live your own life and if you're decent to people they'll usually be decent to you.

I mean if you think everyone in the world is a let down... what does that say about you?

boardinwork · 11-05-2009 03:42PM

KTRIC wrote: »

30 year old male here and I've come to same conclusion as the OP.

People are C*unts, I really don't know how the human race has survived this long !!

What a load of c*ck - stop being victims and get over yourselves. I am a nice person and know a lot of tossers in work etc. What is there to gain by calling the human race bad and acting like you're Gandhi? Stop being a victim and realise that if YOU, your close friends and family are nice, then odds are there's one or others good ones out there.

Stupid thread

boardinwork · 11-05-2009 03:44PM

RossFixxxed wrote: »

I don't get the spirit that's coming across in this post, and I picked this one because it's not a tirade. The thing that gets me is I'm am not a particularly amazing, likable or quiet person. I'm a bit of a bastard to be honest, but people don't let me down all the time like you guys mention.... I'm self sufficient to a degree but generally if people offer to help they will, and I wonder what expectation you guys have? People aren't there to hold your hand while you wee like.. You gotta live your own life and if you're decent to people they'll usually be decent to you.

I mean if you think everyone in the world is a let down... what does that say about you?

God you put it so much better than I !

Wibbs · 11-05-2009 03:44PM

00Blaine00 take a week off to read the charter of this forum.

I hate people

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