Office based injuries

petes · 07-05-2009 12:43PM #1

I'm not talking falling down stairs here or anything but minor things.

I was just wiping crumbs off the desk I sit at and a page of a notepad got under my fingernail while wiping. I now have a papercut under my nail. Hurt like a bitch.

Anyone kill someone with a stapler or the like?

ibarelycare · 07-05-2009 12:45PM

I got stung by a wasp in my ear while trying to hit it with a lever arch file

Lu Tze · 07-05-2009 12:47PM

Terrible Terry Tate FTW!

OldGoat · 07-05-2009 12:48PM

I almost got electricuted when I spat coffee over the computer while reading a funny thread. Not this thread mind you, a REALLY funny one.:)

SoWatchaWant · 07-05-2009 12:51PM

Pulled my back while I was digging a trench.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 07-05-2009 12:51PM

Insurgent wrote: »

Anyone kill someone with a stapler or the like?

I did in my old office: the harsh, unforgiving jungles in Da Nang, Vietnam, in '74.

Our "water coolers" were vine traps that could tear a man's skin off before he could breathe a reactionary gasp.

Our "photocopiers" were Jimmy's guts, sprayed all over my unit like silly string at an infants party after he stood on a landmine posing as a dead gook. I tell ya, you ain't lived 'til you've had 21 years of your best friend's developing adolescant guts spewed all over you like gunge at an MTV awards show.

Our christmas parties were good craic though.

Saibh · 07-05-2009 12:51PM

Insurgent wrote: »

I'm not talking falling down stairs here or anything but minor things.

I was just wiping crumbs off the desk I sit at and a page of a notepad got under my fingernail while wiping. I now have a papercut under my nail. Hurt like a bitch.

Anyone kill someone with a stapler or the like?

When did killing someone become a minor thing!

AnonoBoy · 07-05-2009 12:53PM

Lu Tze wrote: »

Terrible Terry Tate FTW!

Terry Tate was brilliant. Here's the original short film he came from:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lq1eUpd9dco

[edit]I can never do the Youtube thing properly. God damn it.[/edit]

petes · 07-05-2009 12:53PM

Saibh wrote: »

When did killing someone become a minor thing!

I had only posted that and realised what I wrote. Wasn't too bothered about changing it.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 07-05-2009 12:54PM

Saibh wrote: »

When did killing someone become a minor thing!

After basic training, when we jumped into the gook-swamps of 'Nam with nothin' but our balls and our rifles.

Let's see you face forty Cong, hemming and hawing over whether or not what a man's gotta do to survive is a "minor thing."

Snowie · 07-05-2009 01:01PM

OldGoat wrote: »

I almost got electricuted when I spat coffee over the computer while reading a funny thread. Not this thread mind you, a REALLY funny one.:)

I do that about once every 2 weeks

its so anoying

javaboy · 07-05-2009 01:03PM

Lainey Miniature Typesetter wrote: »

I did in my old office: the harsh, unforgiving jungles in Da Nang, Vietnam, in '74.

Our "water coolers" were vine traps that could tear a man's skin off before he could breathe a reactionary gasp.

Our "photocopiers" were Jimmy's guts, sprayed all over my unit like silly string at an infants party after he stood on a landmine posing as a dead gook. I tell ya, you ain't lived 'til you've had 21 years of your best friend's developing adolescant guts spewed all over you like gunge at an MTV awards show.

Our christmas parties were good craic though.

Lainey Miniature Typesetter wrote: »

After basic training, when we jumped into the gook-swamps of 'Nam with nothin' but our balls and our rifles.

Let's see you face forty Cong, hemming and hawing over whether or not what a man's gotta do to survive is a "minor thing."

Oh goody. Yet another gimmick poster. :rolleyes:

msg11 · 07-05-2009 01:03PM

Divorced wife...

Puddleduck · 07-05-2009 01:05PM

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

I do that about once every 2 weeks its so anoying

Maybe use sippy cups? Or laminate your computer and keyboard.

Ive put a stapler through my finger and walloped my legs off my desk a few times. Damned legs...

Saibh · 07-05-2009 01:06PM

javaboy wrote: »

Oh goody. Yet another gimmick poster. :rolleyes:

Think he was watching too many nam films when he was on his study break...

4zn76tysfajdxp · 07-05-2009 01:07PM

javaboy wrote: »

Oh goody. Yet another gimmick poster. :rolleyes:

Gimmick? If flying over to gook-country, fighting for your freedom and coming home alienated from society is a gimmick, then consider me a gimmickator. A gimmickator with blood on his hands.

Fizman · 07-05-2009 01:08PM

Paper cut. New japs eye.

Thats all I can talk about it.

/shudders

OldGoat · 07-05-2009 01:12PM

Puddleduck wrote: »

Ive put a stapler through my finger ..

:eek:

Puddleduck · 07-05-2009 01:14PM

OldGoat wrote: »

:eek:

Im a super hero..thats my job. My super power is osmosis.

Armin_Tamzarian · 07-05-2009 01:17PM

I broke a few secretaries' hearts once.

It was took much for them when they saw me striding past.
Topless with a 6-pack of Diet Coke up on my shoulder.

Professey Chin · 07-05-2009 01:21PM

The_Coon wrote: »

I broke a few secretaries' hearts once.

It was took much for them when they saw me striding past.
Topless with a 6-pack of Diet Coke up on my shoulder.

You gotta use your shoulder to carry 6 cans?
Weakling :rolleyes:

OldGoat · 07-05-2009 01:23PM

Puddleduck wrote: »

Im a super hero..thats my job. My super power is osmosis.

Your power SUCKS...gases from areas of high pressure to areas of lower pressure through semi-permeable membranes.
/Zips anorak rightup tight

Puddleduck · 07-05-2009 01:24PM

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

You gotta use your shoulder to carry 6 cans?
Weakling :rolleyes:

Shhh!! Hes the diet coke man.

*Stands with mouth open, twirling hair around finger, can of diet coke in hand*

Actually, itd be more impressive if he was carrying a six pack of ballygowan water coolers.

Puddleduck · 07-05-2009 01:25PM

OldGoat wrote: »

Your power SUCKS...gases from areas of high pressure to areas of lower pressure through semi-permeable membranes.
/Zips anorak rightup tight

We cant all be superman!!!

Armin_Tamzarian · 07-05-2009 01:26PM

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

You gotta use your shoulder to carry 6 cans?
Weakling :rolleyes:

They weren't normal cans.
They were 6 of the somewhat unpopular 500ml range.

If they had been normal 330ml cans then I reckon I could have carried at least 8, no problem.

Professey Chin · 07-05-2009 01:30PM

Puddleduck wrote: »

Shhh!! Hes the diet coke man.

*Stands with mouth open, twirling hair around finger, can of diet coke in hand*

Actually, itd be more impressive if he was carrying a six pack of ballygowan water coolers.

*Picks up ballygowan coolers. Breaks spine*

Damn you puddleduck :mad:

Puddleduck · 07-05-2009 01:33PM

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

*Picks up ballygowan coolers. Breaks spine*

Damn you puddleduck :mad:

Now see, not even the diet coke man could manage that!!

Professey Chin · 07-05-2009 01:36PM

Puddleduck wrote: »

Now see, not even the diet coke man could manage that!!

Tell that to my spine.
Tellllllllllll iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Pity lay?

omyatari · 07-05-2009 01:40PM

been plotting murderous rampage since 11.45 am.
unsuccesfull so far....
sugestions are welcome

i71jskz5xu42pb · 07-05-2009 01:42PM

Office safety is no laughing matter ....

http://img.thedailywtf.com/images/200903/safe/p/image1.jpg

Puddleduck · 07-05-2009 01:43PM

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

Tell that to my spine.
Tellllllllllll iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Pity lay?

With a broken spine you havent much chance..

not that you did anyway.

omyatari youre unsuccesful at plotting a rampage? Thats not good. Pee on some biscuits and then offer them round.
Or maybe organise some office olympics. You know partition jumping, the mouse throw, chair swimming. Then beat up all the loosers.

Office based injuries

Comments