Boyfriend feels I've trapped him for getting pregnant

LegacyUser · 28-04-2009 10:39PM #1

Hi there,
Ok well I'm pregnant and my boyfriend of 2 years (we're both 21) feels I've now trapped him and ruined his life as a result of this,some background-when we first got together he was very reluctant to have sex as he wsa terrified of getting me pregnant but I managed to talk him round after some time.

We both talked about if I was to get pregnant and what we'd do,he out right said there's no way he could manage a baby and would want me to have an abortion to which at the time I also agreed so everything was fine but when I realised I was pregnant I felt differently and warmed to the idea.

When I told him he almost fainted and just couldn't get over it (neither could I as I was on the pill and we used condoms sometimes too but anyway that's irrelevant now) he then went on about what were we going to do i.e have an abortion and I said I didn't want to and that I'm going to have our baby,he then went on how he would have never had sex with me if he knew I was going to have it if I did get pregnant and referred back to the discussion at the very start of our relationship and said that I've now trapped him for life and that all his plans are over cause of me.
I didn't really say anything to this and just let him vent on,then he left.

We haven't really spoke about it since last week when I told him and he hasn't said anything to me but I just know he absolutley resents what I'm doing to him by having this baby and it hurts so much,he was planning on going on to do a honours degree in college but has now decided not to and has basically just given up on everything he had his heart set on which is breaking my heart to see him do.

We still both live at home but he would spend nearly every night over at mine and now when he does he either sleeps in the spare room or if he does sleep in my bed he won't even hold or cuddle me anymore which is killer

.
Just don't know how to bring him roound or how to get him being ok about this,sorry for the long post

.

LeixlipRed · 28-04-2009 10:43PM

Did he not trap himself by getting you pregnant? He sounds like a selfish git tbh and you'd wanna tell him to cop on to himself.

amybabes · 28-04-2009 11:08PM

sorry to be so blunt, but does he not realise that the days of having to stay with someone just because they have a child for u are long over!!
i know 2 girls, who have babies less than a year old and are with new partners who arent the fathers, one of them met the new guy when she was pregnant. if he wants to leave u, theres not much u can do about it, u will be left holding the baby. think about YOURSELF first....and then consider him and his feelings, because if ye break up, YOU will be the principal carer for this child for the next 20 years....id say 18 only im in my 20s and my parents are still supporting me through uni/i live at home.

fact of the matter is, i have seen a good few of my friends have babies young....very few of them have stayed together with the mother/father of the child. put yourself first....is this what YOU want, are u prepared to do this on your own if he abandons ship.
im sorry, but u cant be blamed for this, and how dare he not cuddle you and support u....whats stopping him from doing his degree, ur the one wholl be at home looking after it!

Wagon · 28-04-2009 11:08PM

I'm going to look at this logically. And very honestly.

LeixlipRed wrote: »

Did he not trap himself by getting you pregnant? He sounds like a selfish git tbh and you'd wanna tell him to cop on to himself.

No actually, he didn't. He didn't intend to get her pregnant and he took all proper precautions.

Hurtgirlfriend wrote: »

We both talked about if I was to get pregnant and what we'd do,he out right said there's no way he could manage a baby and would want me to have an abortion to which at the time I also agreed so everything was fine

So you made an agreement on what to do...but then

but when I realised I was pregnant I felt differently and warmed to the idea.

And what...you just expect him to go along with the idea??

When I told him he almost fainted and just couldn't get over it (neither could I as I was on the pill and we used condoms sometimes too but anyway that's irrelevant now) he then went on about what were we going to do i.e have an abortion and I said I didn't want to and that I'm going to have our baby,he then went on how he would have never had sex with me if he knew I was going to have it if I did get pregnant and referred back to the discussion at the very start of our relationship and said that I've now trapped him for life and that all his plans are over cause of me.

He's right! you both decided on what to do if it ever happened and you both agreed to it and suddenly you changed your mind!?

You need to look at the facts here. he didn't want to have sex because he didn't want a child. you talked him around to the idea and then he agreed but had a long talk explaining his side and you both agreed to a solution. Just because you are pregnant doesn't give you the right to call all the shots. It's his life too. he's put it on hold for this child as well but you both agreed to something and then you just decided that it wasn't important when it happened! that's not on at all. if you want the baby, fine. but don't expect him to stay around just because you suddenly say so.

have you actually warmed to the idea? or do you just not want to get an abortion? if it's a case where you dont want to go through an abortion (which is fair enough and i can understand that) then consider adoption.

LegacyUser · 28-04-2009 11:11PM

LeixlipRed wrote: »

Did he not trap himself by getting you pregnant? He sounds like a selfish git tbh and you'd wanna tell him to cop on to himself.

Well it takes two so it's not all his fault and I just feel like maybe I am trapping him after I assured him I wouldn't want a baby either and talked him round to getting the fear of getting me pregnant out of his head and now its happened and I'm doing the opposite of what I assured him.

He's like a zombie now,gone so quiet and seems so down and sad.

neuro-praxis · 28-04-2009 11:12PM

Anyone who is not ready to face the possibility of a child in the equation is not ready for a sexual relationship. He is essentially a child. You are right to be hurt and angry: he is badly mistreating you here. You are entitled to change your mind about something as important as an abortion. He may not be ready for a child but the reality is that one is coming, he is 50% responsible and he needs to deal with this.

I don't understand why you are tolerating his silent/cold response. You need to have some hard words with him. Doesn't he have any decent men in his life who can make it clear to him that he needs to man up?

You two need to sit down and work out your future together (if you believe you have one). I have seen many young unexpected parents make it through college. It's hard but it can be done. There is a lot of support out there and families are often willing to help out.

Good luck. I hope you work it out and become a very happy family.

drunkmonkey · 28-04-2009 11:21PM

Hurtgirlfriend wrote: »

Just don't know how to bring him roound or how to get him being ok about this,sorry for the long post .

He should eventually come around, he's acting a bit childish, he can still do his degree, having a baby is no excuse just to give up...
He's going to have to straighten his head out a bit, I'm sure his mam will be having a serious word with him if he keeps acting up, if granny or grandad thought he was pushing for an abortion i'd say they'd be disgusted..

I don't agree with wagon, he's been a bit tough on you just like your boyfriend, it's happend, your going to have to work through this together weather he likes it or not...

Best of luck to the both of ye, it's eventually all make sense, keep the chin up...

Wagon · 28-04-2009 11:22PM

neuro-praxis wrote: »

Anyone who is not ready to face the possibility of a child in the equation is not ready for a sexual relationship.

Not completely true. pregnancy is always a possibility but they both agreed to a solution if it ever happened. That's a very good thing and i think he was a man about it (a lot of lads wouldn't even have it cross their minds and would happily just ride away). And then she went back on her word which in this case effects them both very deeply. so in effect, yes. she has indeed trapped him.

amybabes · 28-04-2009 11:23PM

are u prepared to do this alone?
because thats what it comes down to. u shouldnt have to talk him around, thats not a good sign that hes going to last the course.
are ur family going to be supportive?

Wibbs · 28-04-2009 11:27PM

neuro-praxis wrote: »

Anyone who is not ready to face the possibility of a child in the equation is not ready for a sexual relationship. He is essentially a child. You are right to be hurt and angry:

while agree with you on one level, he also has a "right" to be equally hurt and angry, as the OP has changed the goalposts a few times. At the start he was reluctant to engage in sex as he was terrified and obviously against the notion of a kid. Then she in her own words "talked him around" to the idea after some time. She was on the pill and they used condoms.

Then they both talk about what would happen in the event she did get pregnant and they and she agreed that they wouldn't keep it.

Then she changes the goalposts when she does find out she's pregnant. Riiiiight. It may be her body, but it's both their lives and the kids if it is born.

Now yes he does have to shoulder much of this, he stuck his bits in her bits repeatedly, but I can understand his reaction. TBH old as I am, mine would be not so far away, though there would be less of the silent treatment. I would also be suspicious of how careful she was with the pill. Now I may well be wrong, probably would be, but that suspicion would be there, especially if piled on top of her pushing the sex angle in the beginning and then discussing what would happen in the event of a pregnancy and the turnaround therein.

I find it interesting that on the one hand it seems it takes two to tango and that's a choice, yet on the other hand any thing that happens from said tango is down to the choice of one, yet both will end up with the ramifications of that choice.

There are two sides to every story. Like all threads here. His side is as valid. As it should be, because if she does decide to carry to term and give birth there will, or should be two of them in this.

While she has the choice to carry to term, he also has the choice to walk away and not be a part of that. Indeed it's the only choice he has in this. That is not a healthy situation, no matter what one's feelings are on the matter.

OP you need to let him calm down, but you also need to see his side and let him be aware of that. Then maybe you can move forward regardless of the outcome.

LegacyUser · 28-04-2009 11:29PM

Sorry but how in the hell can you get pregnant using the pill and condoms?
Scary!

I don't blame the bf. I'd be raging too.
He doesn't seem as bad as people are saying though - he has put his college plans on hold which shows that he plans to be involved anyway.

OP you need to make plans with a view to doing this on your own (with financial support from him) at the very worst case scenario. If he becomes involved then that's a bonus really. Sucks but it's life I suppose, as the only obligation he has here is a financial one.

Good luck.

neuro-praxis · 28-04-2009 11:29PM

Yes, to Wibbs and Wagon. But the fact is she is pregnant and does not want to abort. We can talk about her mistakes and his hurt but a baby is on the way, and this needs to be dealt with, as does the future of their relationship.

Every time I go for an x-ray I am asked, as every woman is, if there is a chance I could be pregnant. As I am sexually active, even though I am careful, the answer always has to be YES - of course there is a chance.

This is the reality.

herya · 28-04-2009 11:33PM

Wagon wrote: »

No actually, he didn't. He didn't intend to get her pregnant and he took all proper precautions.

While I generally agree with the tone of your post, he did not take all precautions. Pills fail - which is common knowledge - and if he wanted to be absolutely sure he should have put a condom on every single time.

mardybum · 28-04-2009 11:35PM

You know as a woman, I think the tendancy is to feel that men who don't immediately say " Don't worry love, we'll get through it, I'll support you no matter what decision you make" are sh*theads.

But the reality is that this guy, who had heightened fears of pregnancy and *told* you that he would prefer an abortion is basically in mourning for a life he had expected and now will not happen.

For you hormones kick in that make you want to nurture the baby, for him it's pretty much a realisation of a terrible fear.

That is not to say that the life that's ahead of you now won't be good or happy, but it will certainly different to how either of you had planned.

I would imagine that after a while the reality of the situation will sink in for this guy, your relationship may never be the same but the likelihood is that the guy will want to have a role in the baby's life.

Give the guy some space, then try and talk about the future you may have. Be encouraged that it's usually possible for both young parents to complete college. Tough as f*ck, but possible. Remember that however painful this relationship is atm, or may become your baby is now the most important thing for you to keep healthy.

K-9 · 28-04-2009 11:42PM

Without getting into the debate about the rights and wrongs, he needs time to gather his thoughts. The guy is basically in shock.

I was there, though obviously not the exact circumstances. It could be the making of him.

The one thing he doesn't need, is being forced into doing something.

Something to bear in mind Hurtgirlfriend, especially the irony!

Wibbs · 28-04-2009 11:42PM

neuro-praxis wrote: »

Yes, to Wibbs and Wagon. But the fact is she is pregnant and does not want to abort.

Yet she did and agreed to same? It's ok for her to change her mind and now his view being decided as "childish"? What if he wanted to keep the child and she decided nope I'm taking the boat? In that case many would be all for it on the choice and yet again he would be seen as childish for not going along with that. This BTW is not about abortion, it's about a double standard of blame that's applied here.

We can talk about her mistakes and his hurt but a baby is on the way, and this needs to be dealt with, as does the future of their relationship.

Hardly much of a relationship if he sticks to his guns. Her mistakes(and backtracking) are the cause of his hurt. I would be pretty sure that he will see this as a black and white situation. If a fellow guy mate pulled this kind of switcheroo he would be scraped off as a bad bet by most guys. She talked him around to the idea of sex, then she took the pill. Then he wore condoms sometimes. Why only sometimes BTW? His idea or yours, or just in the moment?

Yes I agree that this needs to be talked about, but giving him the impression of him being the bad boy and him not having any choice is not the way forward. If he is any way headstrong he will drop her like a hot stone if backed into such a corner on the face of such mind changing.

K-9 · 28-04-2009 11:48PM

Unregistered wrote: »

Sorry but how in the hell can you get pregnant using the pill and condoms?
Scary!

It happens for loads of reasons.

neuro-praxis · 28-04-2009 11:50PM

But what difference does it make, honestly, to ascribe blame? They both knew she could get pregnant, and they both agreed to an abortion, yes. For a woman then to change her mind has got to be acceptable - simple as. Do you suggest forcing her to have an abortion?

I don't have a problem with his view. I have a problem with his response. It doesn't need to be all jumping for joy and happiness, but it needs to be (at the very least) practical.

So he's shocked. He's also drowning in self-pity. I don't have a lot of sympathy for sulking behaviour in grown men.

Charcoal · 28-04-2009 11:55PM

I have a huge amount of sympathy for both of you. I'm inclined to agree with Wagon's perspective. It sounds like your BF holds those views for a reason - does he know someone who believes that their life was ruined as a result of a pregnancy?

What you haven't told us in your post, is how you plan to support this child yourself - and as some other posters have mentioned, there is every possibility that this could happen now or further down the line. Have you told your parents, would they help you out? Are you working yourself?

You should not have an abortion unless you are happy that it is the right choice for you, and it is unfair of your BF to put pressure on you to do so. Equally it is unfair of you to expect him to accept your decision to keep the baby and come around to it.

Have you contacted the crisis pregnancy agency?

K-9 · 28-04-2009 11:55PM

neuro-praxis wrote: »

But what difference does it make, honestly, to ascribe blame? They both knew she could get pregnant, and they both agreed to an abortion, yes. For a woman then to change her mind has got to be acceptable - simple as. Do you suggest forcing her to have an abortion?

I don't have a problem with his view. I have a problem with his response. It doesn't need to be all jumping for joy and happiness, but it needs to be (at the very least) practical.

So he's shocked. He's also drowning in self-pity. I don't have a lot of sympathy for sulking behaviour in grown men.

Not getting into the abortion point as it goes round in circles.

I don't like his response but if he's being honest? Remember, he has been honest up to now.

Many mothers are in self pity when they find out. They take time to think, come to a decision and move on.

He's doing the same.

Women generally are known for empathy. Time to use it!

See I can generalise too! Does NO good.

We can all tell him to man up etc., means nothing!

mardybum · 29-04-2009 12:01AM

neuro-praxis wrote: »

So he's shocked. He's also drowning in self-pity. I don't have a lot of sympathy for sulking behaviour in grown men.

Jesus, it's hardly sulking! FFS they both have had what amounts to a major trauma. The OP had time to slowly realise that she might be pregnant, take a test, process the info and decide to keep the baby. He had nothing.

I don't think there is right or wrong to this argument. Abortion, (especially in this country where debate is ongoing re the 'evil/'right') is a tender contentious issue, and I believe its unsuprising that a girl might change her mind.

So they're basically both in a crappy situation through no fault to her or him, they sound like they were having a normal sex life...

Enough of this 'he's a selfish/childish whatever', give the dude a break.

K-9 · 29-04-2009 12:13AM

mardybum wrote: »

Jesus, it's hardly sulking! FFS they both have had what amounts to a major trauma. The OP had time to slowly realise that she might be pregnant, take a test, process the info and decide to keep the baby. He had nothing.

Exactly! And Often forgotten!

Women often have time to consider the situation and often will not tell the man because of nerves over his reaction.

Then they they just come straight out with it and tell him just like that, despite them having spent days and weeks worrying about it, but expect joy and happiness when they just announce it!

Not being smart! Think about it!

Wibbs · 29-04-2009 12:13AM

neuro-praxis wrote: »

But what difference does it make, honestly, to ascribe blame?

Well you did and continue to do so even in this post. He's childish, he's "drowning in self pity", he's "sulking". I'm just attempting a balance. She could equally be accused of persuasive behaviour and going back on her word, when the reality kicked in.

They both knew she could get pregnant, and they both agreed to an abortion, yes.

Yep.

For a woman then to change her mind has got to be acceptable - simple as.

Yet he hasn't changed his mind, yet he has to suffer her doing so? So it's alright for her to be capricious in his eyes but not him?

Do you suggest forcing her to have an abortion?

Do you suggest forcing him to look after and support a child he doesn't want and may abandon?

I don't have a problem with his view. I have a problem with his response. It doesn't need to be all jumping for joy and happiness, but it needs to be (at the very least) practical.

And his practical answer seems to be have an abortion as they agreed.

So he's shocked. He's also drowning in self-pity. I don't have a lot of sympathy for sulking behaviour in grown men.

I reserve an equal lack of sympathy for inconstant grown women, who don't keep their word from one day to the next. As I say, this is little enough to do with abortion or not, it's down to a double standard where it's alright for her to magically change her mind that's alright, it's her right to do so, yet he must accept the consequences? Again if she wanted to not keep the pregnancy and he wanted to, this double standard would still be in play. Why should he not have the right to at least not be happy with this and want her to keep her word? It may be her choice, but his life is forfeit to that choice.

To be completely honest, if it was me in this situation? I would walk. I know, not a popular answer, but there it is. I can't abide inconstant people, men or women or those men or women who can't keep their end of a promise discussed by both. If this was about babies or a simple car loan that was reneged I would feel similar, though having a child we both decided we didn't want and then to feel I was being bullied into "manning up", while she is free to girl down and change her mind would simply not fly with me. I find it interesting when people talk about a 50/50 responsibility in many areas of life it always seems like one person usually has the heavier 50%.

K-9 · 29-04-2009 12:22AM

Wibbs wrote: »

Well you did and continue to do so even in this post. He's childish, he's "drowning in self pity", he's "sulking". I'm just attempting a balance. She could equally be accused of persuasive behaviour and going back on her word, when the reality kicked in. Yep. Yet he hasn't changed his mind, yet he has to suffer her doing so? So it's alright for her to be capricious in his eyes but not him?
Do you suggest forcing him to look after and support a child he doesn't want and may abandon?

And his practical answer seems to be have an abortion as they agreed.

I reserve an equal lack of sympathy for inconstant grown women, who don't keep their word from one day to the next. As I say, this is little enough to do with abortion or not, it's down to a double standard where it's alright for her to magically change her mind that's alright, it's her right to do so, yet he must accept the consequences? Again if she wanted to not keep the pregnancy and he wanted to, this double standard would still be in play. Why should he not have the right to at least not be happy with this and want her to keep her word? It may be her choice, but his life is forfeit to that choice.

To be completely honest, if it was me in this situation? I would walk. I know, not a popular answer, but there it is. I can't abide inconstant people, men or women or those men or women who can't keep their end of a promise discussed by both. If this was about babies or a simple car loan that was reneged I would feel similar, though having a child we both decided we didn't want and then to feel I was being bullied into "manning up", while she is free to girl down and change her mind would simply not fly with me. I find it interesting when people talk about a 50/50 responsibility in many areas of life it always seems like one person usually has the heavier 50%.

I respect your opinion, but I don't think I'd walk, but I'd say we will never agree there.

I will not get in the support a child he doesn't want point, as that leads to another can of worms, never mind the abortion one!

The inconsistentcy, agreed. Some women will say, it's about a baby etc., but yet, if it was the father wanting to keep the child, many of the same women would be arguing for the right to have an abortion, so it doesn't wash!

The responsibility part does tend to be very selective!

herya · 29-04-2009 12:31AM

Wibbs wrote: »

To be completely honest, if it was me in this situation? I would walk. I know, not a popular answer, but there it is. I can't abide inconstant people, men or women or those men or women who can't keep their end of a promise discussed by both.

Normally I'd be inclined to agree with you as I appreciate blackandwhiteness myself. But there is an extra factor called life at play - contraception fails, the girl changes her initial "reasonable" decision when she experiences actual pregnancy. Both things are not unheard of.

Could she reasonably promise their contraception will be 100% foolproof? Could she promise that she would have an abortion under any circumstances? It was naive of him to expect and foolish to believe such promises. Life's not so simple. And at 21 did he really need to be coerced to have sex with his girlfriend?

Tough situation but she's inconsistent & he is naive.

fonpokno · 29-04-2009 12:36AM

To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't blame him if he walked away. He was honest with you from the very start, aired his fears and was very practical and truthful about the fact that he couldn't cope with a baby at his age and it seems to me he was quite mature about the whole situation. I can understand why he feels like his life is over and that he's trapped. You really need to give him time to process this huge bombshell that's been landed on him.

I'm female but if I was in his situation I would be absolutely furious that you changed your mind and thus changed my life. He now has the choice to give up his own hopes and plans for his own future at only 21 or to walk away from you and the child and potentially regret it forever.

I know you've decided you want to keep the baby how are you going to provide? Do you have a job? Will you keep it after the baby is born?

You still live at home so are your parents willing to raise another child? Or will you move out, and if that's the case how will you afford that? Whether you're on your own or not it's going to be a struggle.

You have to consider the possibility that you may have to raise this baby on your own.

Edit: just reading this it may sound slightly like an attack but it's not in the least, I'm just trying to see it from his point of view.

zuroph · 29-04-2009 12:39AM

I came in here expecting to think he was wrong, but having read it, i've changed my mind.

Personally, I dont agree with abortion, but whatever, people can choose. Thats not in discussion here.

The deal is he didnt WANT to have sex, wanted to be extra safe, and explicitly talked about abortion etc. For you now to change your mind is fair enough, but you have to accept that, just as free as you are to make your mind up, he is AS free to not change his.
A lot of people in this thread have said he's being unreasonable, and that its 50% his fault. surely then, its 50% his choice?
If you want to keep the baby, its going to be time to tell him he's not trapped and he's free to leave. He didnt want this child, and now you do. You may feel differently when you think about doing it alone, but thats your choice.
If you dont want to "trap" him, let him go. sit him down, tell him why you've changed your mind, and offer to break up. Then the ball is in his court and he can freely decide what he wants.
TBH it sounds like he's trying to stick around despite the scare you've given him, and he needs an option.

best of luck with it

K-9 · 29-04-2009 12:40AM

herya wrote: »

Normally I'd be inclined to agree with you as I appreciate blackandwhiteness myself. But there is an extra factor called life at play - contraception fails, the girl changes her initial "reasonable" decision when she experiences actual pregnancy. Both things are not unheard of.

Could she reasonably promise their contraception will be 100% foolproof? Could she promise that she would have an abortion under any circumstances? It was naive of him to expect and foolish to believe such promises. Life's not so simple. And at 21 did he really need to be coerced to have sex with his girlfriend?

Tough situation but she's inconsistent & he is naive.

I completely agree with the above and I'd a point to counteract that and it's gone!

They both know 100% that contraception is not guarenteed. She knows his views, yet she continues a risky activity with somebody who has let it be 100% known, his views! He has to take responsibility, but so has she.

However, he should not use that as a get out clause. I Suppose my point is, neither should she!

K-9 · 29-04-2009 12:51AM

fonpokno wrote: »

To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't blame him if he walked away. He was honest with you from the very start, aired his fears and was very practical and truthful about the fact that he couldn't cope with a baby at his age and it seems to me he was quite mature about the whole situation. I can understand why he feels like his life is over and that he's trapped. You really need to give him time to process this huge bombshell that's been landed on him.

I'm female but if I was in his situation I would be absolutely furious that you changed your mind and thus changed my life. He now has the choice to give up his own hopes and plans for his own future at only 21 or to walk away from you and the child and potentially regret it forever.

I know you've decided you want to keep the baby how are you going to provide? Do you have a job? Will you keep it after the baby is born?

You still live at home so are your parents willing to raise another child? Or will you move out, and if that's the case how will you afford that? Whether you're on your own or not it's going to be a struggle.

You have to consider the possibility that you may have to raise this baby on your own.

Edit: just reading this it may sound slightly like an attack but it's not in the least, I'm just trying to see it from his point of view.

Damn it, I'll do the Godwin equivalent on this thread. If you have sex, there is no 100% way of guarenteeing no pregnancy! There!

Even if you are as careful as humanly possible there is that chance. After that it is up to personal CHOICE.

Choice being the important word. Nobody can force their choice on anybody else, well, barring fathers who want to keep the baby, over mothers who don't!

ronivek · 29-04-2009 12:58AM

In my opinion yes; you have trapped him by deciding to keep the baby. Whilst it is rare in life for anything to be black and white; the deciding factor for me in this instance is him seeking from you explicit agreement that were you to get pregnant you would have an abortion. Even were you not on the pill and had never used condoms; I don't believe that is relevant. You're pregnant. You agreed with your boyfriend if that ever happened that you would get an abortion. You have changed your mind and grossly abused his trust.

Was he naive to expect you to stick to that agreement? Possibly. Does it somehow justify what you're doing to him? No; I don't think it does. Whilst it is your right to decide to keep the baby; you need to accept that you are for all intents and purposes making a decision for three people. You're deciding on the well being and future of you, your baby and the father.

Have you talked to anyone who can be completely objective here? You need to seek out someone who can give you the advice you need before you completely commit to having this baby; assuming you haven't already done so.

Nevyn · 29-04-2009 01:02AM

www.postiveoptions.ie

Boyfriend feels I've trapped him for getting pregnant

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