Really down at the moment

Hewhodares · 20-04-2009 10:02PM #1

Hey,

I've been feeling really down at the moment
Im in final year of college. I just finished my thesis today and have been really depressed all day. I've been wandering around college all day on my own. I've been on my own since thursday night with exception to talking to people in one or two of my classes, who were around finishing off their projects for a few minutes here and there.They all live at home so they dont hang around after lectures unless they have assignments to do.

Bit of a Long story.There's only 7 other people in my class and I feel I only get on with one of them even though I live with 2 people from my class. I talk to the one guy during and outside class and we do alot assignments and college work together but anytime other than that we dont really see each other even though we live in the same apartment block - In the 4 years i've been friends with him i've only been out once on a night out. He hangs around with his flatmates from home alot. I dont see my flatmates at all, we never watch tv or anything together. the only time when they are in the living room is when they have their boyfriends over. The other person im living with is from abroad and isn't around much.

I have gone out once since new years and I was on my own. Its getting to the stage where im wandering around just looking for someone I know just to have a bit of a chat to for a few minutes. Im kinda shy, so i find it hard talking to people even though i know them well, though no1 ever seems to do anything or if they do they dont ask me if i want to do anything. I was sitting out in the sun relaxing today and there were loads of other people around with their friends and I felt really lonely. After dinner this evening I sat in my room and cried I felt so lonely. I haven't been sleeping very well either lately.

They last couple of months I've been keeping myself busy with my thesis so haven't felt down too much. I'd stay in the library and work on it till 10 o'clock some nites just so i didn't have to sit alone im my apartment.

I was at a college counsiler a few times but it didn't really help. I dont really know what else to do. Im a member of the student counsil and tried doing some stuff with them but if find it hard to talk to people i dont already know in it and nobody makes any effort to talk to me, alot of them don't even say hello if they see me walking by.

I've been looking at doing another degree in another college but dunno if it would be any better.

Any1 got any suggestions as to what I should do.

Thanks Hewhodares

Kalashnikov_Kid · 20-04-2009 11:33PM

Hey there,

Sounds like youre stuck in a bit of a rut. I think it sounds like you have been spending alot of your college years with people you dont necessarily like, correct me if Im wrong? I found myself in a similar situation in my last year of college. Its not easy, especially when people presume that because your doing the coursework and living with 'friends', everything is ok!

Well first of all fairplay for sticking to the coursework. Shows that you still have enthusiasm in your field which can lead you to further things...

HOWEVER, before making any decisions about the future, I'd try to assess where your head is at the moment. Have you experienced any signs of clinical depression? Because I think its important not to make any long-term decisions if you may not be thinking rationally.

Another thing, you mention that:
'Its getting to the stage where im wandering around just looking for someone I know just to have a bit of a chat to for a few minutes. Im kinda shy, so i find it hard talking to people even though i know them well, though no1 ever seems to do anything or if they do they dont ask me if i want to do anything.'

Without sounding harsh, I'm a bit worried about this. Maybe your self-awareness towards your shyness/loneliness is causing you to become a bit too needy/arrogant in social situations? I've fallen foul to this for quite a while without realising it and this kind of behaviour brings you in danger of isolating you further.

So if I was you I would look for counselling/therapy outside of the college services. From my experience, college counsellors are good in dealing with specific, one-off problems such as relationship/family problems etc. But if you are experiencing more long-term problems such as depression (and possibly social anxiety?) I think it would be best for you to look further afield for help, as counsellors often suggest simplified solutions that may not address the issue (if there is one) at large.

Anyway I may be off the mark, but I've had a similar experience and that would be my advice. There is help out there to get your head straight again so you can make the best decision to move forward from here : )

BirdXX · 21-04-2009 12:12AM

I can't offer you too much advice except to say I've been there myself, and life did get better, you just have to give it time. There is a huge anti-climax after you finish your finals or submit your thesis, i remember it clearly although it was quite some time ago. The weather's good, get out in it again today, go for a walk, smile at someone...

lilirish · 21-04-2009 06:17PM

Sounds like your having a tough time, final year/thesis and all that is enough weight without having the additional pressure of how your feeling at the moment.

What interests/hobbies do you have? If you have something you feel passionate about or even just an interest why not look into finding a club/group that you could get involved in? That way as soon as you meet new people you have a common interest. This also take you completely away from the uni enviroment and a bit of a new start, a chance to just go for it.

I would also second looking for a counsellor outside of uni if you feel this would help.

Chin up, you sound like your focused and a good person so it will happen for you.

Karen09 · 21-04-2009 08:53PM

hiya love,

a few of my friends felt this way, basically cause after col and school their friends went different directions, one in particular found great comfort in some of the websites for meeting people these are not just dating sites and he has made loads of friends from it, two of which now live in his pocket practically!!! give it a go u might be surprised!!

Bubbles09 · 21-04-2009 11:29PM

cheer up look at all you have going for you look to the future
every morning you wake up and put your two feet on the ground be thankful for your health and all you have going for you
go out with a smile on your face and look forward to your day
make small talk with people in your class join facebook and bebo and see if you can meet up with people you know
make time for your college work but also for yourself
as annie says "you're never fully dressed without a smile!"

Dravokivich · 22-04-2009 11:39AM

Hewhodares wrote: »

Hey,
alot of them don't even say hello if they see me walking by.

Do you say Hi to them?

If yer so quite all the time and keep to yourself... people will generally leave you to it...

Really down at the moment

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