Did my stint with drugs mess up my mind?

useful_contacts · 09-04-2009 12:52AM #1

hi
sorry in advance- This is long

this is probely not a problem- and maybe im crazy but i just want to throw this out.

Im a 23 year old woman, i was always a b/c student. When i was 17 i made the mistake of taking drugs for a few months , this wasnt just a weekend thing, this went on for 3 months(was during summer months just before my leaving cert year ...may - august 2003)

My bf of 2 and a half years broke up with me after promising he would take me to my debs (which was happening in sept 2003) i was in bits (sad i know) and began to take drugs with my friends- happened about 4 nights a week (went on from 7pm to 8amish the next day) my parents thought i was staying in my friends house (this was a regular thing had been staying in friends houses all my life - so they never checked up- it was "oh im sleeping in danis house bye" and that was that)

Started off with hash- then speed- then E tablets. Most nights it would be all three plus vodka and we would all be stabbing ourselves with compasses for the heck of it(thats how out of it we were)

At the time i was working in a chipper on weekends and id be so fried from the night before id burn myself on the grill and would notice,my boss screamed at me one day cos id leant on the hot grill and it took me about 5 seconds to register what i was doing

My parents were pretty clueless about drugs, i came home at 6am one morning and was off my head- was in the kitchen and dad came down and gave out to me cos i was "drunk" when i was floating and my eyes were like spaceships- he didnt even reliase how off my head i was.

Even thinking about it makes me want to punch myself for being so stupid
but a bad trip on E quickly knocked me out of the drugs (though some of my friends wernt so lucky)

Now im 23- engaged to a brilliant man im with just over 5 years, but im scared because my minds detorating bit by bit.

I first noticed it during my leaving cert( around a year after the drugs) i couldnt remember phrases id known all my life(you know like the "month ryhme "first of september- april june and november" i still cant remember it ), i put it down to stress. I passed my leaving cert( BEARLY) and was delighted.

But since then my minds been a bit ****ed up.

Example - id be chatting to my sister and someone would butt in for a few seconds, and id forget what me and my sis were talking about and she would have to remind me... and lately (last 3 months) i find im muddling my words, its a case of id be saying " im so hungry" and id say "im Ho sungry" It sounds daft but its what i say- and i laugh and say "ha im muddling my words here - but its happening so much lately-
my partner says im prob speaking before i think but i dont think thats it. ITS HAPPENING WAY TOO MUCH FOR MY LIKING AND IM GETTING WORRIED. i find im even spelling simple words wrong too. Id be spelling see and id write seeh - i mean its scaring me at this stage.

Im worried my stint with drugs has messed my mind up -ive never had that prob and i was pretty clever before the drugs.It was for a few months but was pretty heavy usage and i regulary went to work still off my face from the night before- Only a few people know about this and two of them are my current partner and my sister who is also my best friend. The others who know are v heavy drug users who i dont talk to anymore and havnt since i was 17

I dont know what im asking for here- just some advice i guess!!!
Thanks

zootroid · 09-04-2009 01:02AM

Probably not, I wouldn't worry about it. If something were to come of it, I would say it would have happened years ago.

tony1kenobi · 09-04-2009 01:05AM

I don't think it is your drug use because I have probably done similar to yourself except I've not stopped and I am 10 years older...but you might have a condition that needs to be diagnosed...

Go to a doctor...no need to mention your past unless you are asked.

Hope it works out...but as far as muddling things, it might just be age...I often stand at a door and wonder whether I just came out of the room or if I was about to go in....I've always been like that and I don't attach it to a lifestyle choice.It's just poor short term memory....or at least that's what I tell myself(then I forget :rolleyes:)

LegacyUser · 09-04-2009 01:16AM

Sorry, i fell upon this thread by accident. I had to read when i saw the title.

Don't be worrying yourself! What you're saying all sounds COMPLETELY NORMAL. We all go through stages like this and in particular if there is a bit of stress in our lives. I noticed when i hit my 20's that my mind started to play little tricks with me too. I wasn't a drug user but it still happenened. I'm 33 now and it still happens and it's happenend to everyone at one time or another. Little things like muddling sentences or not being able to think of a simple word or as you said spelling words wrong. Try not to worry yourself about it because it really doesn't sound like anyting serious and i'd say the fact that you're anxious about it is probably exaggerating the problem. My partner was a heroine addict and he's been clean for 13 years and he's as normal as they come. If you are REALLY concerned which i don't think you should be.........give your GP a visit and talk to him/her about your concerns. As i said.........don't be stressing.

Overheal · 09-04-2009 01:24AM

It could be anything. But I won't lie to you, it can happen.

A friend of mine - complete dumbass. Solvent abuse; Lynx. Got hospitalised at one stage and he's just not the same anymore - he's on a permanent tweak. He always had ADHD but now he's just, tweaked, is the only way to put it. That much weirder ever since.

Depending on what you took, how you took it and how much and when you took it, you can do some real damage. I did plenty of smoking at one stage with some poor quality hash - impurities you know, mostly plastic I gather. I even have to wonder if it didnt do damage on some level, not that I've noticed anything much. Done with that **** now obviously.

In your case, given what you're saying, I would have to strongly advise first, remain calm, because it could be stress and/or nothing; and go speak with a psychologist, who can evaluate you. A GP can refer you to one.

shinny · 09-04-2009 01:27AM

At 23 your short term memory should not be that bad. I'd go to the doctors anyway, one that you trust and mention your past, him/her. I'm not an MD but I'd imagine it could have had some impact on you but I'd think that you'd be able to rectify it. However, there are lots of things that can cause you to have memory problems; thyroid disorder, dehydration, depression, deficiency in Vitamin B1 or B12, blood sugar imbalances etc, so it may be nothing whatsoever to do with your history.

I'm 34 and my memory is pretty great. I read a lot though and I always make a point of trying to work things out in my head rather than using aids, like calculators etc.

I wouldn't worry, but for peace of mind I'd go and talk to your Dr.

useful_contacts · 09-04-2009 01:34AM

shinny wrote: »

I'm not an MD but I'd imagine it could have had some impact on you but I'd think that you'd be able to rectify it. However, there are lots of things that can cause you to have memory problems; thyroid disorder, dehydration, depression, deficiency in Vitamin B1 or B12, blood sugar imbalances etc, so it may be nothing whatsoever to do with your history.

After my bf broke up with me i was diagnosed with depression(just before the drugs) and given pills but i never took them. My ex bf pretty much messed with my head and my doc said i was depressed over him pluss the stress of my leaving cert(but it was my ex i was stressed over not the l.c)

You know when your young you think your love then is the one(bla bla bla) and i was obsessed with the guy- patehic really but i was infatuated:rolleyes:

shinny · 09-04-2009 01:39AM

useful_contacts wrote: »

After my bf broke up with me i was diagnosed with depression(just before the drugs) and given pills but i never took them. My ex bf pretty much messed with my head and my doc said i was depressed over him pluss the stress of my leaving cert(but it was my ex i was stressed over not the l.c)

You know when your young you think your love then is the one(bla bla bla) and i was obsessed with the guy- patehic really but i was infatuated:rolleyes:

It could well be related alright, plus I know drug use can make depression worse. Seriously, try not to worry too much though. Find a doctor that you trust and have a frank chat with him/her. You'd be amazed at what just talking to someone "professionally" about it can do.

Ah I know, young love and you feel like it's never going to be better than that and then you grow up

cafecolour · 09-04-2009 02:07AM

I doubt it's the drugs - they can def cause some damage to your brain when used extensively - speed and too much alcohol are the worst. But they wouldn't make you get worse after you've stopped them - if anything you'd be at your worst just after ending them and slowly get better.

It is quite possible a current, unrelated health issue. Go see your GP, get an overall physical check-up/blood tests, and ask about the memory specific issues.

In general, take vitamins and make sure you are eating your fruits/veggies, exercising regularly, minimize stress, etc. All these things have more impact then you might think - years of no exercise and poor nutrition will seriously do you far worse than the couple months of hard drugs use.

And I forget words/phrases all the time - it happens more and more as you can older, but it's always been an issue for me.

Overheal · 09-04-2009 05:43AM

I've never been able to spell begining. Beginning. Beggining. feck it.

Theres is a lot of truth in the diet argument. Vitamin deficiency can affect your mental state as much as anything else.

Silverfish · 09-04-2009 07:47AM

We are unable to give medical advice on boards.ie.

If you are concerned, please go to your GP.

Did my stint with drugs mess up my mind?

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