Social Anxiety??

LegacyUser · 08-04-2009 08:21PM #1

Hi Everyone,

Don't know where to start with this one but just wondering if anyone had any advice or opinions on the following.....Ive never had a problem socialising or mixing with people before. In school and college, I was never afraid to talk to new people, or speak up in class. In fact, I was usually the first to do it, and loved cracking jokes with groups of people and generally having a good time. Lately however, I've found myself becoming really anxious when faced with groups of people. Like my heart starts racing and I cant really breathe, I have to make myself take deep breaths to calm down. My heart even starts to race just walking down the street. Today, I was walking along the Boardwalk in Dublin, with people sitting on the benches. I found myself getting really anxious and couldnt get off the walk fast enough. It's not like I though something was going to happen or anything, I just felt really self concious. A part of me knows that the majority of people probably did not pay one iota of attention to me walk by, but sometimes I feel as if all eyes are on me, and not in a narcisstic way, if that makes sense! Even getting on and off the bus I feel really nervous and cant breathe properly.

The problem is my sister is having a housewarming this weekend and Im dreading it. While I know I probably will be ok, as I do tend get on well with people, like I said, but Im already starting to worry about what to wear, what to talk about etc. My sister is older than me and a professional, so a lot of people there will be from work.

Has anyone else experienced this? I can't really talk to my friends or family about as they would probably think I'm having a laugh. As I said I come across fairly outgoing, but it is something thats bothering me.

LegacyUser · 08-04-2009 09:18PM

Been through it.

Spent 3 years in college hating having to answer questions or do presentations... hated work as I was a nervous wreck when dealing with senior people.

Things have changed for me though - through different things and just getting older.

HAve a read of "The Feeling Good Handbook" by David Burns (I think) - lots of practical advice there.

Also, ask yourself "do I really care what other people think of me? Who would I rather control my life - them or me?"

REmember, everyone, just about, has some issue or other to deal with.

You'll be chatting to some "professional people" at the party - what does that term actually mean .... think about it..... they wear suits to work? they spent 4 years studying something? The add numbers up and balance a spreadsheet?

Try some visualisation techniques of walking confidently down the street and then when you are walking, eyes wide, head up, shoulders back and breathing deep and calmly..... it will become a habit eventually.

We're all the same - there are lots of shy people out there who mask their shyness very well.... best of luck.

LegacyUser · 08-04-2009 09:23PM

i was exactly the same as you from the ages of 17-21. in my case it was to do with taking drugs, particularly smoking hash, so if that is something you do then knock it on the head. believe me its the best thing you will ever do if you are suffering in the way you describe cos it just doesnt agree with some people. i don't suffer like this AT ALL anymore and i was worse than what you describe.

if thats not you then there is obviously something in your life causing this so try and find out what that is. apologies if this is of no use to you but good luck cos i feel your pain

LegacyUser · 08-04-2009 09:41PM

OP here,

Thanks for the replies....I generally dont have a problem in class, tho i do get a bit nervous and start to babble a bit sometimes but i usually just make light of it and laugh it off.

no I dont do drugs or hash or anything like that, so its not the side affects or anthing. Its such an odd thing to happen, because I'm 20 now and never really had this problem in my teens. Well apart from the obvious teenage things of trying to fit etc but everyone goes through that I guess. My friends perceive me to be very confidant and able to handle myself...while I would be nervous in pubs or clubs with everyone around, I dont really have an issue with a guy coming over for a chat or meeting friends of friends etc. So I dont think I can define myself as having social anxiety...i guess i just get mini bouts of it now and then. I am trying to not let it affect me but i find myself getting worked up over little things these days, like yesterday I kept checking that my skirt hadnt got caught up while I was walking along, you know?Little silly things you know?

I have little worries like everyone else, like my part time job, my parents job, money, the summer, next year in college etc.

The party is stressing me out i guess because i am worried what the others will think of me there. I'll probably be the youngest there, but i am bringing 1-2 of my own friends for some moral support

I guess I want to come across well to the people there and make a good impression. I just dont want to make a fool of myself, you know? But surely everyone gets a bit like this sometimes? I'm hardly on my own here am I?

Social Anxiety??

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