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Out of work, mounting debts, very depressed

  • 03-04-2009 02:11AM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,005 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi everyone, I am looking for some advice apologies if this post is too long!

    I have been out of work for three months and despite two interviews and about 60-100 applications a week, I still have no job. I worked really hard to get where I was and I have no third level qualifications, so I feel like i'm at a disadvantage. It's really getting me down.

    My partner and I have so much debt that we have about 100 euro to spend after bills per month and there is no way of getting the bills down, as I have already talked to the bank.

    I feel so guilty that he goes to his job everyday to support us, and despite my best efforts I just can't get any job. I feel so depressed that I don't even want to get up anymore and I feel like i'm going a bit mad.

    I don't have any cash to go anywhere, so I end up in the house all day. I feel like there is no end to this.

    On top of it all my partners parents asked him to move back home, without any mention or consideration of me, despite the fact that we've been together for eight years.

    Truth is I'd love to move in with his parents, so we can pay off our debt, but I don't see that happening as they are very against sharing rooms, and there is no spare room in there house.

    I just feel like my life has been a big waste and I've no future and my partners parents want him to leave me behind because i'm such a burden now that I have no job but I was earning a lot more than him.

    Sorry for the rant, it's really hard to stop when it all comes out. Any advice would be much much appreciated as I am so lonely and depressed about all of this.


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Well the fact you are getting interviews every single week would suggest that your lack of qualifications is not the problem (workwise)OP.How are you in interviews?There is a fine line between too cool (they think you cant be arsed) and too eager(they will have to work with you and might think you would be annoying) so maybe talk to someone that knows.Walk into a decent recruitment agency and talk to someone about interview techniques.Even a google search will come up with key points to remember/questions to ask/questions you maybe asked etc.

    On the more personal side of things Im too sure what to say so I wont say anything except try to keep the chin up and good luck.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 818 ✭✭✭idontknowmyname


    It may be that you just aren't suited to certain roles. I'm in the same position but with 3rd level. Companies are looking for certain personality 'fits' for their teams as well as someone having the right work experience. I completely understand how de-motivating and depressing it can be getting knock back after knock back. The only thing you can do it try and stay as positive as you can- I know it's hard to do- you will get a job eventually- just make sure you're applying to jobs you are suitable for.

    As for walking into a recruitment agency and asking for interview advice as suggested- it's not a done thing and the consultant won't give you the time of day. I'm ex-recruitment and they're very busy with all their normal duties. You need to be a registered candidate with them for them to give you any interview advice and you would be attending interviews they've set up for you. Go onto the large recruitment agencies websites- they usually have interview and CV advice up on it.

    Best of luck in your search!! You will get something...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood



    As for walking into a recruitment agency and asking for interview advice as suggested- it's not a done thing and the consultant won't give you the time of day. I'm ex-recruitment and they're very busy with all their normal duties. You need to be a registered candidate with them for them to give you any interview advice and you would be attending interviews they've set up for you. Go onto the large recruitment agencies websites- they usually have interview and CV advice up on it.

    Best of luck in your search!! You will get something...

    Have to disagree with you there.Im ex-recruitment too and I would always take time to sit down with ANY potential candidate,as would all my former colleagues.Any agency or recruiter worth its salt will do the same.You will know within 5 minutes whether you have anything suitable but its no harm having as many experienced people on your books as possible.Sending in your CV means it gets stock piled with all the other applications,getting up off your arse and showing a bit of drive seperates you from others.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 195 ✭✭nedoo


    Look at other lines of work. There are jobs out there but the fact is that many people think they are too good for them. You dont need a degree to wash dishes, clean bedrooms, serve tables. It may not be advancing your career but is sitting at home? Your number 1 thing is to get money in. Where there is a will there is a way, I know is sounds sh*t but its true.


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,286 Mod ✭✭✭✭The_Conductor


    I think you are being hard on the OP to be honest.
    Its only when you actually go to look for work at the moment, that you realise just how bad things are.

    OP- I know its not ideal- but would you consider putting up an advertisement in the local supermarket offering to do jobs on a parttime basis (it could be housekeeping, laundry, child minding etc- anything at all that will bring in some cash). I know I'd be willing to pay to have loads of laundry ironed- for example.

    Times are hard- and we do need to readjust our expectations- any possibility to earn a little cash legitimately should be explored though.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,814 ✭✭✭Gone Drinking


    What are your bills exactly? rent? electricity? What do you owe the bank? Im assuming it can't be a mortgage because theres talk of him moving home, so you're renting then?

    Have you car loans? Sell up, downsize


  • Posts: 22,785 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    OP.
    Don't get depressed no matter how hard it is not to.
    There are so many now in a similar boat and theres very few ways out for the moment.

    Heres a radical plan-Assuming your partner is "the one" why not get married?
    It doesn't have to be a do-just put in the 3 months notice at your registry office right now and do it.It would also give you something secret to look foward to-just invite the parents and a few select friends.
    You can have the proper do when you can afford it.
    Then move in with the parents for a while.

    Also consider a few hours voluntary work to relieve the boredom untill something worthwhile paid turns up.
    If nothing else it will get you out of the house and get you some company :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,814 ✭✭✭Gone Drinking



    Heres a radical plan-Assuming your partner is "the one" why not get married?
    It doesn't have to be a do-just put in the 3 months notice at your registry office right now and do it.It would also give you something secret to look foward to-just invite the parents and a few select friends.
    You can have the proper do when you can afford it.
    Then move in with the parents for a while.

    Getting married in a registry office so she can stay in the same room as her long-term boyfriend is retarded.

    OP, do you have a mortgage or what?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,005 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi guys. Thanks everyone for replying. No we don't have a mortgage but I could not afford to live on my own without financial help from my partner.

    As regards interviews, I have been to interview prep courses etc. and as part of my previous job I interviewed people for my team so I figure it's not really that but more the fact that there are 100s of applications for every job.

    As regards getting married, no I would not get married just so I could share a room, and if we did it would have to take place in a church.

    A car- yep no nct needs expensive repairs which i can't afford, but it is almost paid off. Have tried to sell with no luck so far.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    Would I be right in assuming that your 60-100 applications a week are pretty generic? I would presume so given the sheer volume you are sending out every week. Now more than ever it's important to tailor your CV and covering letter to the specific job. The CVs should match the criteria in the job spec and your covering letter is your chance to outline why you are so different compared to all the other applicants for the role.

    What line of work were you in OP?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,005 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    No, I tailor my c.v and cover letter for every job. 60-100 is not actually that much when you have nothing else to fill up your day. I was a manager in a high street store, but I am applying for any and every type of job. All the interviews i've been at have at least three rounds due to the number of applicants.

    I understand that there are thousands in the same position, but I just wish I didn't feel so depressed about it all, it's very hard to handle all the rejection and makes me feel so guilty for putting all that pressure on my partner.


  • Posts: 22,785 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    :eek::eek:

    The getting married idea was just to get the better of the silly notion that some parents have that their kids don't share beds with other people.
    Thats not retarded,it's besting the objection.
    I mean it's only a piece of paper.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,005 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    am in the same position. been working within marketing/pr/office admin/accounts areas for years - have diplomas and a damn good worker.

    I apply for jobs that would suit(not many at moment) + anything else office orientated - but am ALWAYS told am too experienced. Recruitment agencies are useless. They show jobs as it looks good for them.

    Am currently cleaning in a hotel. its fine. money 10 euro an hour. have had to move back with my alcoholic folks. in my late 20's. savings gone from living off it the last few weeks.

    Welcome to the recession folks...Have been for 5 interviews and apply daily for jobs since December. LOts of people on this board seem very naive and young...lets see till it happens to you and hpw you cope.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,679 ✭✭✭Daithio


    If you are getting interviews then you are doing something right, so don't give up. You can NEVER prepare too much for an interview. I don't know what type of jobs you are going for, but no doubt google will help you find a list of prep questions for whatever job it is.

    The first thing you need to do is study the job advertisement, and whatever skills they mention, you want to make sure you have stories ready about your achievements or experience which display these skills. Be a bit creative, it just has to be based on the truth, not 100% the truth. ;)

    You need to have an answer prepared for any question that they may ask you. Again you want your answers to be backed up by stories of your achievements and to display examples of skills relevant to the job. Study your answers like you're studying for an exam. Have a word for each answer that encapsulates the point that you're trying to make, and associate this word with your prepared answer, so that all you have to remember is the word and the spiel is triggered. When you're alone in the house repeat your answers to yourself over and over again while looking in the mirror. Sounds crazy but you'll become much more comfortable selling yourself that way.

    So you should ideally be 100% comfortable talking about yourself, your achievements, and your experience, before you even apply for a job. Then when you get an interview all you'll have to prepare for is your knowledge of the place you're applying to. Again you should know what they do inside out. How many people work there, where do they have offices, what do they specialise in, what's the culture like, etc etc. Again google will help you with a list of things you should know about any company you're interviewing with. If you happen to get an interview with a company and a friend of a friend of a friend works there, try your best to meet up for coffee to get the inside edge on the place. This will educate you about the firm/ company and will also display enthusiasm and drive to the interviewer when you mention that you've met so and so.

    Then obviously smiling and eye contact can't be overstated. And don't be afraid to pause and think of an answer if you're not sure, it's much better to pause for a sec than shoot your mouth off about something you've got no idea about. If you can try to be natural and make a light joke or small talk this really helps. Talk about the weather, anything, just try your best to turn it into a conversation rather than an interview.

    Another thing that Irish people (myself included) do alot which is very bad in an interview is to talk themselves down. Don't be like "oh it was nothing", or "it was actually really easy". I mean, you don't have to make yourself sound unbelievably amazing at every stage, but you definitely don't want to put yourself down either. If you're doing that in an interview, what will you be saying about the firm in front of clients?

    And lastly, here is an absolutely awesome CV makeover site:

    http://www.lifeclever.com/give-your-resume-a-face-lift/

    It talks you through MSWord step by step, and makes it look ultra professional by the end of the process.

    Good luck, it's an absolutely miserable process but you'll get there, just try to keep focussed. There are literally tens of thousands of people out there who aren't even getting interviews, so you're actually in a very good position, relatively.

    Also maybe start going to the local public library to do your daily job searches rather than staying at home on the internet all day. Anything to get out of the house is a big help.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 949 ✭✭✭LoanShark


    Hi OP,
    I'm sorry for your situation!!
    Dont let this get you down even more,Every morning GET UP!! Go for a Walk,Cycle or do something that gete you out of the house for even an hour..Sitting at home is the killer.. In the last 12 months I been unemployed for seven, although I've worked on short term contracts throughout..

    You say you're renting,Whats your rent like? Is it possible to move to a cheaper place? If not talk to your landlord,maybe try to get them to lower their rent..or try to scare them into bringing it down by letting them believe that you are gonna move out..

    What is your budgeting like?
    Is it possible that maybe your JobSeekers could manage to buy food for the week..Shop around,It's mad what value you can get..
    Is it possible that your fella's wage could make up the rent and maybe what you have left over could be used to chip away the debt?

    Your car....Do you need it every day? To Be Honest trying to sell it in this environment is far from easy.. Leave it sitting for a couple of months..

    Speaking from experience,Forget recruitment agents...They are not interested at the moment,I have a good CV and have a lot of experience in my field and have had little or no luck with them..I got a job last week and I went directly to the company and fought my arse of for it...
    If you have any connections in business..USE THEM...

    Contact those you owe money to and come up with a payment plan..Anything you offer to them will be better than nothing..

    Be Positive,I know its hard....BUT, You have got to be....!

    De-clutter your appartment, I am a big believer in getting the things around you in proper order and then this will help you focus...

    In ever negative aspect, There is a positive...Focus on the positive!


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