Help me please

LegacyUser · 25-03-2009 06:03PM #1

I'm so totally alone. All I can see are my faults and shortcomings and a life that I wish I had.

I used to want to get up every morning and do something that I loved. It wasn't much but it made me feel like I had a place and it made me proud. Now it's all gone.

I'm different and I feel like people can see and want to get away from me. So I'm critical of other people and their friendships and their relationships because I'm on the outside looking in on my own.

I'm trying hard to change my life and my feelings and my appearance and everything else about the way I am so I can be happy again.

But really I just want to curl up in a ball because no matter what I do, nobody seems to like me all that much.

I don't blame them.

I hate myself- and I know me better than anyone.

Orla K · 25-03-2009 07:35PM

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm so totally alone. All I can see are my faults and shortcomings and a life that I wish I had.

I used to want to get up every morning and do something that I loved. It wasn't much but it made me feel like I had a place and it made me proud. Now it's all gone.

I'm different and I feel like people can see and want to get away from me. So I'm critical of other people and their friendships and their relationships because I'm on the outside looking in on my own.

I'm trying hard to change my life and my feelings and my appearance and everything else about the way I am so I can be happy again.

But really I just want to curl up in a ball because no matter what I do, nobody seems to like me all that much.

I don't blame them.

I hate myself - and I know me better than anyone.

Those things are making me think depression. Which is something nobody can't handle on your own so I think you should talk to someone about it and go to the doctor.

Noelleieos · 25-03-2009 07:47PM

kinda went through the same thing over the last few years, got worse recently, i wasn't interested in anything and felt really down the whole time. I'm seeing a counselor now, which is really helping. Started on anti-depressants last year but that didn't really help much. Talking about it really help, there could be some under lying problems that you need to address. Talk to a doctor about your options, but seeing a counselor is really helping me. I hope things work out for you:)

LegacyUser · 25-03-2009 08:06PM

First of all please give yourself a break
Try not to be so hard on yourself as the negative thoughts alone about yourself are the driving force behind pushing people away. If you don't like yourself it's very hard for other people to like you. I would say to go to see a counsellor too, it sounds like depression but only your Doctor can advise you on the best course of action to take.
Also can you try and talk to a family member that you may be close to about how you feel, it helps to talk to someone about things, I know as I have been in a similar position to yourself.
Try and be positive and get back into doing things you enjoy doing as when you are keeping busy there is less time to think and overanalyse about your past behaviour.
Mind yourself,

Best of luck

2xj3hplqgsbkym · 25-03-2009 08:44PM

Everybody feels down sometimes , but if you constantly feel down you may be suffering from depression.

Depression is a medical condition, so if you are suffering from depression like thousands of other people in Ireland, you need to seek medical advice. Talk to your GP

ohanloj3 · 26-03-2009 12:56AM

Noelleieos wrote: »

kinda went through the same thing over the last few years, got worse recently, i wasn't interested in anything and felt really down the whole time. I'm seeing a counselor now, which is really helping. Started on anti-depressants last year but that didn't really help much. Talking about it really help, there could be some under lying problems that you need to address. Talk to a doctor about your options, but seeing a counselor is really helping me. I hope things work out for you:)

I agree I saw a counselor a couple of years ago and it really helped me.

Snowie · 26-03-2009 02:07AM

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm so totally alone. All I can see are my faults and shortcomings and a life that I wish I had.

No your not, your anything but alone look at the people above me and below me who've posted, some of these people have been in the exact same situation. With everything that looks good there are so many bad things for instance id love to have 5 million in the bank a beautfull island would it be the medcine to my cough I dout id probably still have the same problem's...

Unregistered wrote: »

I used to want to get up every morning and do something that I loved. It wasn't much but it made me feel like I had a place and it made me proud. Now it's all gone.

I know the feeling well I used to have a job and now I dont how do i fill that massive void, I work for free i dont get payd but shore as hell gives me the sence of satisfaction I need, so maybe find things that you need to do and do them granted motivation can be difficult at times but when you get a small job done no matter what it is there's all ways a sence of satisfaction which in turn is good for you it means you've achieved something how ever small ... which in turn will snowball into oh i wanna do that and that and change this

..

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm different and I feel like people can see and want to get away from me. So I'm critical of other people and their friendships and their relationships because I'm on the outside looking in on my own.

That's a pretty negative out look to have on your self, that does not help your self esteem, self worth and social confidence. Dont be critical of other people around you and certainly don't think, oh im different people, don't want to be near me, all it will do is reinforce that fact that people think that you don't like them...

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm trying hard to change my life and my feelings and my appearance and everything else about the way I am so I can be happy again.

feelings or thaughts ? or booth maybe thaught are in are heads we cant see them but like air there, their. Does that mean that if i think ive the bigist noise in the world? no what it does mean is im hugely critical of my self and fail to see the good points in me... I think you need to focus on the bad and look on the good how ever small, don't listen to that inner thought saying It doesn't look good when yo do your hair different, Turn around at the mirror and tell it to go Pi$$ off or other comanly used swear words, Its weird but it works ... Yep i talk to my self every body does that's what thoughts are. So when i get overly negitive with my self i tell that inner critic to go BEEP of and insted of critcising me help me .

Unregistered wrote: »

But really I just want to curl up in a ball because no matter what I do, nobody seems to like me all that much.

I don't blame them.

I hate myself- and I know me better than anyone.

nobody seems to like you much, why? Is it because your different, where all different every one on this world yet we all have a heart lungs a brain kidenys and liver and stomic to eyes and a tounge mouth and lungs ...

so what you may look different you can attempt to change how people see you but that never truly helps untill you change how you see your self, How can you do this..

some people can do it other need help if you need help a good counciller that you've been sent to buy your gp is always a good way to go..
I can speek from experiences that it will help you.. If you can afford to go there of great benefit.. suddenly you'll find you eat better have motivation, don't feel uncomfortable around people and graduly things get better with work on your side, fir what it worth op you dont sound at all like your that different.

if you had a problem any kind of problem would you ask a friend ?

LegacyUser · 26-03-2009 03:33PM

I'm living in another country. Family have their own problems. Health system fine but not really that easy to find a good doctor. Have a job, just not a good one. Have a boyfriend, we're supposed to be getting married but he's not very emotionally available and works away alot.

Thanks for the replies, I do appreciate it, just not sure how I can apply it to my life.

RossFixxxed · 26-03-2009 04:17PM

Go to your GP. Do not spend any more time on the internet reading rubbish from someone like me. Do not think about it JUST GO TO THE DOCTOR. This sort of thing can be fixed but YOU and ONLY YOU can make the step to get it fixed. You won't know yourself when you do.

Good luck OP, go get help. It is so so so so worth it!
R

Drumpot · 26-03-2009 06:20PM

This could be the first step of looking for help . . That can be the hardest step of all . . . Well done for even having the good sense to ask for support here!!

You should certainly consider professional help, or even by talking to friends or family. Never assume they are too busy to help you out. You find out who really loves you when you ask for help off those closest to you, they can also surprise you at how supportive they can be. This in itself is a huge personal boost and really and truely helps you build up your self esteem . These are the people you should surround yourself with . .

Yes we all have our own problems, but if I thought a close friend or family member was living their lives in mental torture, I would be gutted if they didnt try to enlist my help. Theres no better feeling then seeing those who love you, come to your aid, when you feel that everything you do is hopeless . . . The worst anybody can do is not help, is that any worse then not at least trying!

I know some families and friendships are not that close, but even if you havent seen these people in years, you may very well be surprised at how they react if you just reach out to them . .

Ask yourself some questions:

What makes you feel good about yourself?

Who makes you feel good about yourself?

When do you feel good about yourself?

Sometimes being stuck in a rut in life can make you feel helpless, dispondent and depressed.

What are the most important things in your life?

what did you enjoy the most when you were happy?

when did you start feeling down ?. .

Its so difficult to be positive when all you can think of is negative thoughts about yourself , the world, your life . . .

Find something you enjoy and try to get some perspective on your situation when you are feeling most grounded. This is the time when you should be able to work on improving your depressed state . .

Good luck with your rehabilitation . . It all starts here, believe me, the world can be a fantastic place if you have seen it with depressed eyes, but come through it . .

Help me please

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