Is it normal

fiona12 · 25-03-2009 09:19PM #1

I don't even know if this is the right place to post, but was just wondering. I am very happily married for 12 years, but find myself that I have a bit of a thing for a mutual friend. I think about that person quite a bit and will never do anything to act on this, I just think this person is cute. Does this mean I am cheating? I love my spouse.

Just wondering if everyone feels like this at some point?

Terry · 25-03-2009 09:30PM

Moved from AH.

LD 50 · 25-03-2009 09:36PM

Personally, no. I wouldn't think of it as cheating. You're allowed look, but cant touch. It'll probably pass after a while. Just try not to entertain these thoughts.
I'm sure your partner thinks like this sometimes. Or maybe not<shrug>

Otis Driftwood · 26-03-2009 12:42AM

Its human nature to look at/admire attractive individuals OP.You have done nothing wrong at all so dont be worrying!

cafecolour · 26-03-2009 01:41AM

What's the saying "Just because you've ordered doesn't mean you can't look at the menu."?

Absolutely normal. I'll guarantee you he does it too. It's why plenty of men will also look at porn, etc. after they are in a relationship as well. You can even use the thought of him to get you more turned on with your BF, etc.

That said, you can, of course, never ever say anything to your BF, and the fantasy has to remain entirely a fantasy.

MonkeyTennis · 26-03-2009 01:45AM

of course its normal. :-)

26-03-2009 11:23AM

Totally normal! Acting on it is where the problem lies

tbh · 26-03-2009 12:35PM

just a crush

acontadino · 26-03-2009 12:36PM

this reminds me of you me and dupree

rondog · 26-03-2009 01:33PM

As normal/natural as having a dump after a curry

dodgyme · 26-03-2009 04:50PM

rondog wrote: »

As normal/natural as having a dump after a curry

thats not normal. Where are you eating?

TURRICAN · 26-03-2009 05:12PM

cafecolour wrote: »

What's the saying "Just because you've ordered doesn't mean you can't look at the menu."?

Absolutely normal. I'll guarantee you he does it too. It's why plenty of men will also look at porn, etc. after they are in a relationship as well. You can even use the thought of him to get you more turned on with your BF, etc.

That said, you can, of course, never ever say anything to your BF, and the fantasy has to remain entirely a fantasy.

hmmmmm
how about thinking about themselves,what you said is out of order.

Oh The Humanity · 26-03-2009 05:13PM

fiona12 wrote: »

I don't even know if this is the right place to post, but was just wondering. I am very happily married for 12 years, but find myself that I have a bit of a thing for a mutual friend. I think about that person quite a bit and will never do anything to act on this, I just think this person is cute. Does this mean I am cheating? I love my spouse.

Just wondering if everyone feels like this at some point?

lol Totally normal, if anything you can pat yourself on the back for getting through 12 years and only noticing someone now!

Look, dont beat yourself up, if you feel guilty just remind yourself that your husband will have had numerous crushes of his own throughout the years!

Wibbs · 26-03-2009 05:15PM

dodgyme and rondog, please stay on topic thanks.

Dudess · 26-03-2009 07:55PM

TURRICAN wrote: »

hmmmmm
how about thinking about themselves,what you said is out of order.

What do you mean?

OP, it would be unusual for such thoughts not to go through a married/attached person's head.

Is it normal

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