Should I have told her?

useful_contacts · 22-03-2009 11:59PM #1

Ok this is kind of long winded but ill do my best here

Theres this girl i know, only met her about 5/6 times, went out drinking with her once(as part of a group) Shes dating a guy my boyfriend works with, They are together 5 years, not living together, she has kids and he lives with his elderly mother. They are both in their mid 30s.

Shes a lovely woman, v friendly. Her boyfriends a bit of a nutter and i think hes sound. Him and my bf are always going out together and get on great.

Anyway this guy told my partner last month hes been cheating on his gf, has had constant one night stands, and he went to Manchester for the liverpool/united game 2 weeks ago and had a one night stand( and is still texting the girl and planning to go back over to her)

My partner said this to me and i considered telling her, but the fact is i hardly know the girl and its none of my business. Her bf text me and asked me not to tell her. I just told him that it was not my business and i wasnt getting involved

Anyway Today i get a call from her - she found out about him cheating when she looked at his phone- and she knows i knew and she is FURIOUS with me for not telling her. Now TBH it wasnt my business i hardly know her like. If some girl ive only met a few times came over and told me my bf was cheating i wouldnt believe her.

If it was one of my friends id have told her- but shes not a friend shes just someone i know to see.

But even though it was none of my business Should i have told her?

PK2008 · 23-03-2009 12:23AM

No good deed goes unpunished

Stay out of it

Abi · 23-03-2009 12:48AM

If it was someone closer, They'd take a chance on your word.

Then again she saw the text. If you do happen to see her, tell her you wanted to say but didnt know her well enough.

She has no right to take it up with you. She needs to focus on her boyfriend, and quit the blame game.

sambuka41 · 23-03-2009 06:06AM

Wouldnt have told her,that never works out well!!!!!!!! I know a girl who actually was a really close friend and she didnt believe me when i delivered news about partners(im sure everyone knows someone!!)never mind someone who barely knows ya!!!!!

Id say she is just finding it easier to be mad at you rather than the boyfriend. Steer clear!!!!!!!

Zambia · 23-03-2009 06:28AM

There is a few smacks going around for this story

useful_contacts wrote: »

he lives with his elderly mother. They are both in their mid 30s.

smack him for this

useful_contacts wrote: »

Anyway this guy told my partner last month hes been cheating on his gf, has had constant one night stands, and he went to Manchester for the liverpool/united game 2 weeks ago and had a one night stand( and is still texting the girl and planning to go back over to her)

He needs another one for this and another for telling people

useful_contacts wrote: »

My partner said this to me

Your fella needs a smack for telling you

useful_contacts wrote: »

Her bf text me and asked me not to tell her.

Your fella needs another smack for telling him he told you

useful_contacts wrote: »

I just told him that it was not my business and i wasnt getting involved

Probably would have done the same thing

useful_contacts wrote: »

Anyway Today i get a call from her - she found out about him cheating when she looked at his phone- and she knows i knew and she is FURIOUS with me for not telling her.

Go smack both your bf and this other eejit for getting you into this
and give the other eejit another smack for letting his missus near his phone

If you meet her again just say listen I should have told you but I really did not know how to I was afraid you would think I was interfering.

If she does not accept that she can head off.

wasper · 23-03-2009 01:29PM

useful_contacts wrote: »

Ok this is kind of long winded but ill do my best here

Theres this girl i know, only met her about 5/6 times, went out drinking with her once(as part of a group) Shes dating a guy my boyfriend works with, They are together 5 years, not living together, she has kids and he lives with his elderly mother. They are both in their mid 30s.

Shes a lovely woman, v friendly. Her boyfriends a bit of a nutter and i think hes sound. Him and my bf are always going out together and get on great.

Anyway this guy told my partner last month hes been cheating on his gf, has had constant one night stands, and he went to Manchester for the liverpool/united game 2 weeks ago and had a one night stand( and is still texting the girl and planning to go back over to her)

My partner said this to me and i considered telling her, but the fact is i hardly know the girl and its none of my business. Her bf text me and asked me not to tell her. I just told him that it was not my business and i wasnt getting involved

Anyway Today i get a call from her - she found out about him cheating when she looked at his phone- and she knows i knew and she is FURIOUS with me for not telling her. Now TBH it wasnt my business i hardly know her like. If some girl ive only met a few times came over and told me my bf was cheating i wouldnt believe her.

If it was one of my friends id have told her- but shes not a friend shes just someone i know to see.

But even though it was none of my business Should i have told her?

Damn if you do & damn if you don't. If you had told her, her BF would have had gripe with you. Not getting involved is the best method. Don't bother arguing with her, you might not be seeing her again. Don't let it upset you.

useful_contacts · 23-03-2009 01:40PM

Zambia232 wrote: »

smack him for this

Well his mothers 92 and has ammnesia so he has no choice

Zambia232 wrote: »

He needs another one for this and another for telling people

Id say it was just him boasting- hes told all the boys, but my bf ate him over it cos my bf hates cheating /cheaters

Zambia232 wrote: »

Your fella needs a smack for telling you

Your fella needs another smack for telling him he told you

It wasnt a "OMG have i got gossip for you type thing". We were out for a meal for our annivsery and during the meal he said "i dont know how X can cheat on X after 5 years, im with you 5 years and it wouldnt ever cross my mind". As far as i know my bf didnt tell him he had told me. He prob knew he would tell me anyway.

Zambia232 wrote: »

If you meet her again just say listen I should have told you but I really did not know how to I was afraid you would think I was interfering.

If she does not accept that she can head off.

I said it to her on the phone and she was just screeching saying "I thought we were friends" - i was like "Ive only met you a few times we are not friends i hardly know ya" She just said "Either way you should have told me" and hung up

Like i dont even have this gals no and she doesnt have mine, she only managed to call me when she got my no off her bfs phone

Zambia · 23-03-2009 02:15PM

useful_contacts wrote: »

I said it to her on the phone and she was just screeching saying "I thought we were friends" - i was like "Ive only met you a few times we are not friends i hardly know ya" She just said "Either way you should have told me" and hung up

Like i dont even have this gals no and she doesnt have mine, she only managed to call me when she got my no off her bfs phone

Ah she has just flipped out over finding out she is throwing punches in all directions. She says she thought you where friends because it sounds better than

"I thought we where casual aquaintances !!!!! "

And when you corrected her she hung up as she has at more people to ring and go nuts at.

She will calm down in time, chances are she will take him back and not talk to you again.

Yet talk to him about what a b1tch you are for not telling her he was sh@gging someone else.:rolleyes:

the more I know people the more I like Dogs

rondog · 23-03-2009 04:46PM

Zambia232 wrote: »

There is a few smacks going around for this story

smack him for this

He needs another one for this and another for telling people

Your fella needs a smack for telling you

Your fella needs another smack for telling him he told you

Probably would have done the same thing

Go smack both your bf and this other eejit for getting you into this
and give the other eejit another smack for letting his missus near his phone

If you meet her again just say listen I should have told you but I really did not know how to I was afraid you would think I was interfering.

If she does not accept that she can head off.

:D:D
Savage

biko · 23-03-2009 04:51PM

Typical catch 22. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Tell her you wanted to tell her but knew she would not believe you. She'll understand, hopefully, eventually.

Redpunto · 23-03-2009 06:11PM

Nope - I wouldnt have told her and you did the right thing to stay out of it.

Snowie · 23-03-2009 06:19PM

it sounds more like just anger really I mean her boyfriend has been cheeting on her and people knew and didnt tell her....

reverese the situation and i think you find that'd you feel the same maybe...

Clueless09 · 23-03-2009 06:20PM

Hilarious post Zambia!!:D

OP-your boyfriends friend sounds like a complete t*sser and his bragging to his friends hasnt really paid off for him.

Your BF shouldnt have told you-anyway who needs to know that kind of useless info?? So his friend is a man whore-who gives a f*ck??

And your right not to have told her-if someone i met 5 times told me my bf of 5 years was cheating on me-i would probably be dragged off them! Dont worry about it-they obviously had a wierd relationship anyway, if she is going through his phone in the first place....

Zambia is rite-smacks all round for them

Bottle_of_Smoke · 23-03-2009 06:47PM

You did nothing wrong but I'd say ease up on the girl, she's just had horrible news and just wanted someone to blame.

She'll probably apologise to you in the future if shes anyway half decent.

Dublinstiofán · 23-03-2009 06:53PM

Its over, forget all about it.

Who gives a **** what some chick you don't even know thinks about you.
You did nothing wrong.

Snowie · 23-03-2009 07:05PM

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

it sounds more like just anger really I mean her boyfriend has been cheeting on her and people knew and didnt tell her....

reverese the situation and i think you find that'd you feel the same maybe...

that doesnt mean i think you did the wrong thing actuly to be honest i think id of done the same as you

... i would'nt involve my self ...

useful_contacts · 25-03-2009 12:09AM

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

that doesnt mean i think you did the wrong thing actuly to be honest i think id of done the same as you ... i would'nt involve my self ...

i know:)

its ok she has **** to deal with, but she would want to take it out on him not me

lolli · 25-03-2009 12:12PM

People always end up shooting the messenger so you did right not to tell her. Don;t worry about her being mad at you, shes not somene close so I wouldnt even bother with her if shes going to be mad at you for something that isn't your business in the first place.

Should I have told her?

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