Hit it off with a female work colleague, how do I approach this?

Jeffrey39 · 23-03-2009 03:46PM #1

Hi i'm a 35 year old male, who's hit it off with a female work colleague of mine who's a couple of years older than me.

She's been with our company for a while, and i really like her a lot. My company has no rules which say i'm forbidden from dating her, but i've been thinking about asking her out for some time.

At a previous festive work do, i got somewhat drunk and told another girl in my job that i liked this girl, so chances are she knows i like her.

Also, i found out from a female friend of hers at the same company party, that she was going out with a guy for five or six years but that ended badly...so i do feel somewhat sorry for her, which actually makes me like her more.

I've been advised by friends not to ask this girl out at work, which is fair enough.

I've been holding back asking her out, because of this. Also, a part of me is dreading other peoples reactions at work (mainly the lads in the warehouse) if i ask her out, as she is slightly overweight (this doesn't bother me in the slightest, but people can be cruel.)

Also, if i'm leaving work, and she's driving out of the carpark, she will offer me a lift home, which i always accept as i like her so much.

I do think that she does think about the way she looks, but i always give her a boost when i meet her during the day by telling her 'you look great' etc...i think this goes down well with her.

She's a lovely person and there is a bit of a spark there...i'm just wondering how i approach this without making a complete fool of myself (i.e asking her out)

poindexter · 23-03-2009 03:52PM

Jeffrey39 wrote: »

Hi i'm a 35 year old male, who's hit it off with a female work colleague of mine who's a couple of years older than me.

She's been with our company for a while, and i really like her a lot. My company has no rules which say i'm forbidden from dating her, but i've been thinking about asking her out for some time.

At a previous festive work do, i got somewhat drunk and told another girl in my job that i liked this girl, so chances are she knows i like her.

Also, i found out from a female friend of hers at the same company party, that she was going out with a guy for five or six years but that ended badly...so i do feel somewhat sorry for her, which actually makes me like her more.

I've been advised by friends not to ask this girl out at work, which is fair enough.

I've been holding back asking her out, because of this. Also, a part of me is dreading other peoples reactions at work (mainly the lads in the warehouse) if i ask her out, as she is slightly overweight (this doesn't bother me in the slightest, but people can be cruel.)

Also, if i'm leaving work, and she's driving out of the carpark, she will offer me a lift home, which i always accept as i like her so much.

I do think that she does think about the way she looks, but i always give her a boost when i meet her during the day by telling her 'you look great' etc...i think this goes down well with her.

She's a lovely person and there is a bit of a spark there...i'm just wondering how i approach this without making a complete fool of myself (i.e asking her out)

whats the worst thing that can happen if you ask her out??

kaimera · 23-03-2009 03:53PM

just ask her.

if it works, it works, happy days.

i'd be prepared for her to say she doesn't do the whole 'work colleague thing'.

adzer86 · 23-03-2009 03:56PM

easiest way i reckon is go for lunch with her to start. It gives you some alone time while at the same time not being to formal i.e. a date
then if it goes well and your are getting on take it from there. Fook it, no harm trying. And if the lads in weork give you stick then tell them to go and ask ur ballix. Why should ye care what they think.

Jigsaw · 23-03-2009 04:38PM

poindexter wrote: »

whats the worst thing that can happen if you ask her out??

Erm, humiliation, teasing at work, damage to professional reputation, loss of what seems a friendship as it stands?

OP that's not to say you shouldn't ask her out. Only you can really know the vibes you are getting and you'll have to take a chance at some point. I'm just saying you should bear in mind all possible outcomes from the best right down to the very worst and then decide whether you're prepared to take the risk..

Good luck OP

poindexter · 23-03-2009 05:04PM

Jigsaw wrote: »

Erm, humiliation, teasing at work, damage to professional reputation, loss of what seems a friendship as it stands?

OP that's not to say you shouldn't ask her out. Only you can really know the vibes you are getting and you'll have to take a chance at some point. I'm just saying you should bear in mind all possible outcomes from the best right down to the very worst and then decide whether you're prepared to take the risk..

Good luck OP

professional reputation how, coz he had the balls to ask someone out. humiliation and teasing, so what, next week someone else will be getting the same sd this is par for the course with lads in a warehouse. if this results in the loss of a friendship, what kind of friendship is it in the first place if this can ruin it.

take it for what it is, you like someone and want to ask her out, but thinking about it so much is now putting you off. you'll go through a few feelings, remember the thoughts of doing something are usually so much worse than actually doing it. you never know, she might think you don't like her that much and go for someone else. be sure to let us know how you get on anyway.

Genghiz Cohen · 23-03-2009 07:01PM

"So I was thinking of heading to [food place] for lunch, thought you might like to come along."

"I was thinking" leaves it open to change and "thought you might like" shows you were thinking of her.

Do it.

Jeffrey39 · 23-03-2009 10:33PM

Jigsaw wrote: »

Erm, humiliation, teasing at work, damage to professional reputation, loss of what seems a friendship as it stands?

OP that's not to say you shouldn't ask her out. Only you can really know the vibes you are getting and you'll have to take a chance at some point. I'm just saying you should bear in mind all possible outcomes from the best right down to the very worst and then decide whether you're prepared to take the risk..

Good luck OP

Thanks for the advice...actually i'm on company leave at the moment so i won't see her until Monday fortnight, just asking for a few pointers on this!

Yeah, as i've said, it's one of these really difficult situations....as regards, how do i approach this?...as you point out there could be any possible outcome.

I'll be truthfully honest with you, the vibes are pretty good...another female friend of mine has said that it might be a good idea to give it a bit more time before i ask her out, as in i can see if the vibe still exists when i go back.

I've been told that the fact that shes always willing to give me a lift, is a good indicator that she likes me, dunno what other people think on that?

As i say, she's really a lovely girl...but i do sense a lack of confidence there, as regards her previous relationship not working out..as i've said she's slightly overweight, and i've seen an indication that she's been comfort eating....

...don't get me wrong, the fact that she's a bit overweight doesn't bother me in the slightest as she's a pretty girl and there's a real genuine-ess about her which i like.

Zaph · 23-03-2009 11:25PM

Hi Matt3/Dave5/Michael39/Jessica4/Sidney2.

Guess what, I'm closing this thread. Please, please, please stop posting it, it's becoming tedious at this stage.

Hit it off with a female work colleague, how do I approach this?

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