Woman, need your input and advice...

Happy-I think · 12-03-2009 04:57PM #1

Well this is not really a relationship issue, as it is a personal issue….

Ok, just over a year ago, I met the woman of my dreams, ( after i broke up with my ex)

(for the guys reading this, imagine well, perfect 10 cover model)

We hit it off straight away, and have an amazing sex life. She stays over at my place 4 – 5 times a week, she practically lives there.

So, life has been good, I have a nice job, great sex live, with one of the most beautiful woman I can dream off.

But here is the problem…
She is very insecure….
So, I woke up last week, and realised a year have passed since we met.

We are NOT in a relationship,

She is not officially my girlfriend… We never had that chat…

So I asked her, last week, if we should make if official, so she said she will have to think about it…

AS, she said, she is to scared to loose me, if we break up, but is not yet ready for a commitment. And that I might not be over my previous relationship.
She did not say she wants for be with other people, but wanted the freedom to have the option …

And, even this morning, we had sex twice before work. we have it about 4 times a week, and more on weekends...

She knew me before we met, as I was in a 8 year relationship, and she kinda knew my ex, but never met.

She is really hot, and if she goes out, all the guys always look at her, even tries to chat her up, but she always comes home with me, even if she goes out with friends drinking, come 2am, or whatever time she is done, I hear her open the door and come sleep in my bed.

She tells me that I make her feel save, secure, and all that stuff.

I only asked her to be my “ girlfriend” not my wife…

We both have been faithful to each other, and all our friends think we are a couple.

So, could a woman please decode what she means….

What could I do to convince her, or should I give her space to come to me ?

hobochris · 12-03-2009 05:05PM

I'm not a woman(I know your were looking for womens opinions), but to me it sounds like you guy's are in a relationship.. even if you haven't had acknowledged it officially.

I really don't get why people think something huge is going to change if/when you commit to each other.

Maybe ask her what her thoughts are on it?

cantdecide · 12-03-2009 05:06PM

I'm a bloke but...

Tell her that her response was a shock and you were thrown by what she said last week. Tell her you were sure you were official for quite a while and you just wanted to see it verbalised and you're in turmoil now.

Oh The Humanity · 12-03-2009 05:07PM

Happy-I think wrote: »

Well this is not really a relationship issue, as it is a personal issue….

Ok, just over a year ago, I met the woman of my dreams, ( after i broke up with my ex)

(for the guys reading this, imagine well, perfect 10 cover model)

We hit it off straight away, and have an amazing sex life. She stays over at my place 4 – 5 times a week, she practically lives there.

So, life has been good, I have a nice job, great sex live, with one of the most beautiful woman I can dream off.

But here is the problem…
She is very insecure….
So, I woke up last week, and realised a year have passed since we met.

We are NOT in a relationship,

She is not officially my girlfriend… We never had that chat…

So I asked her, last week, if we should make if official, so she said she will have to think about it…

AS, she said, she is to scared to loose me, if we break up, but is not yet ready for a commitment. And that I might not be over my previous relationship.
She did not say she wants for be with other people, but wanted the freedom to have the option …

And, even this morning, we had sex twice before work. we have it about 4 times a week, and more on weekends...

She knew me before we met, as I was in a 8 year relationship, and she kinda knew my ex, but never met.

She is really hot, and if she goes out, all the guys always look at her, even tries to chat her up, but she always comes home with me, even if she goes out with friends drinking, come 2am, or whatever time she is done, I hear her open the door and come sleep in my bed.

She tells me that I make her feel save, secure, and all that stuff.

I only asked her to be my “ girlfriend” not my wife…

We both have been faithful to each other, and all our friends think we are a couple.

So, could a woman please decode what she means….

What could I do to convince her, or should I give her space to come to me ?

Just a guess but my gut here tells me she is still harking after someone she considers 'the one' but is for some reason unavailable to her.

As I say only a guess but to be my spidey senses are telling me she is in love with a married man/someone who emigrated....something like that....

Only a guess mind you!

jbl123 · 12-03-2009 07:57PM

So your post mentions that the woman is beautfiul, hot, makes all of the other men jealous, cover model material, is a perfect 10 and so on. You also focus on how frequent the sex is...Sounds good so far. But...

Do you actually love her? (didn't see any mention of that.)

If you do love her, have you ever expressed those feelings to her?

If not, my hunch is that's the issue she is having.

(I am a woman)

Kidchameleon · 12-03-2009 08:05PM

Hi Op,

Im a guy but +1 on what jbl123 said...

Good Luck.

Zaph · 12-03-2009 08:21PM

Other than sex do you guys actually do much together? Do you go for dinner, walks, holidays, etc., you know, the kind of stuff that couples do? If not, I can see where she's coming from, but if you do I'd be asking her what exactly are her criteria for you being a couple.

Oh, and I'm a bloke

banshee_bones · 12-03-2009 08:38PM

Kidchameleon wrote: »

Hi Op,

Im a guy but +1 on what jbl123 said...

Good Luck.

me too for this one im afraid!

Woman, need your input and advice...

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