The Escapist : Zero Punctuation Game Reviews

Mr E · 14-01-2009 06:23PM

Newsflash: Lara is Evil (Tomb Raider Underworld).

L31mr0d · 14-01-2009 06:42PM

Mr E wrote: »

Newsflash: Lara is Evil (Tomb Raider Underworld).

Yeah it wasn't a good game.

pixelburp · 14-01-2009 10:11PM

Pretty funny vid, even if the TR series is like the Sonic one at this stage. I too though share Yahtzee's belief that Tomb Raider should just die; It's like the 90s poster child for gaming as an adolescent male pastime that we should all be embarrassed about.

Oh and that "Unskippable" series at the end is really, really, really bad.

tman · 14-01-2009 10:52PM

pixelburp wrote: »

Oh and that "Unskippable" series at the end is really, really, really bad.

QFT, with added "really, really, really, reeeeeally, REALLY"

Quite how something that bad wound up at the end of something of ZP's calibre is beyond me...

Retr0gamer · 15-01-2009 12:18AM

Looks like the utterly pants boss fights from Legend are back

Don't think i'll bother with this and I haven't liked what they have done with laras character in the new games.

Still was a good ZP. Liked the bit about the french war heroes

johnny_ultimate · 15-01-2009 01:53AM

pixelburp wrote: »

Oh and that "Unskippable" series at the end is really, really, really bad.

Yeah it is pretty awful, and the producers of Mystery Science Theatre should get their lawsuit hats on. MST wasn't always the best written, but awful films are a hundred times more amusing to watch than boring cutscenes with two idiots sprouting out forced 'humour'.

But yeah good review. The autistic child / camera metaphor was deep.

L31mr0d · 15-01-2009 12:05PM

Retr0gamer wrote: »

Looks like the utterly pants boss fights from Legend are back

boss fights? At least Legend had boss fights, anniversary went a further step in the wrong direction by making obvious boss fights a quick time event. This game goes another step further, you think you are going to get to fight something, but no, you have to pull a series of levers and jump across some gaps to kill whatever boss is there waiting for you... I mean why would this huge cracken position itself right underneath this huge spiked ball hanging from the ceiling for no reason.

Even the end boss is just another series of simple puzzles while she just floats around waiting for you to ruin her plans.

Retr0gamer · 15-01-2009 12:25PM

Sounds awful especially if it's worse than in Legend whose 'boss fights' I wouldn't even classify as boss fights.

This just sounds like those awful boss fights you would have in old PC games (see the bosses in Quake) when Western developers just didn't know how to do them.

Ostrom · 21-01-2009 06:25PM

Anyone watch far cry 2 yet?

Gingervitis · 21-01-2009 06:31PM

yeeehhhhh.
accent was funny

kaimera · 21-01-2009 06:57PM

what no link?

Good review...hard man to please [as usual] but I've not played FC2 in ages and am only about 15% thru anyway.

Mr E · 21-01-2009 07:03PM

Seth Efrican accents are funny.

Kiith · 21-01-2009 08:23PM

That was very good. Love the accent.

pixelburp · 21-01-2009 09:07PM

Quite funny this week & for once is fairly spot on with the review too. As mentioned, the fake South African accents are funny, though to my untrained ears I always figured the Far Cry 2 Afrikaan accents were legit!

edit: Oh and thank zombie jesus they removed that "unskippable" video series from the end. Phee-yew!

Mr E · 21-01-2009 09:49PM

Unskippable? I just browse to a different site or close the tab when it starts.

Ostrom · 21-01-2009 10:27PM

kaimera wrote: »

what no link?

Good review...hard man to please [as usual] but I've not played FC2 in ages and am only about 15% thru anyway.

Link? I can barely log in

Hes right though, nothing wrong with linear

L31mr0d · 21-01-2009 11:04PM

Mr E wrote: »

Unskippable? I just browse to a different site or close the tab when it starts.

no, it's not unskippable, it's called "Unskippable"

anyway, good review, although it's a fairly n00b mistake to say that FarCry2 used the CryEngine when my grandmothers cat probably knows Crytek had nothing to do with it... I sometimes wonder if he purposely makes mistakes so that enraged gamers will sign up to the forums to correct him.

Ostrom · 21-01-2009 11:58PM

L31mr0d wrote: »

no, it's not unskippable, it's called "Unskippable"

anyway, good review, although it's a fairly n00b mistake to say that FarCry2 used the CryEngine when my grandmothers cat probably knows Crytek had nothing to do with it... I sometimes wonder if he purposely makes mistakes so that enraged gamers will sign up to the forums to correct him.

Probably, but should make for an interesting fanmail 2 video. Heres hoping

Mr E · 28-01-2009 06:39PM

Gears of War 2

K.O.Kiki · 28-01-2009 06:54PM

I like Unskippable (by the LRR crew), even if the other contest winners might've been more interesting ideas.

kaimera · 28-01-2009 07:02PM

cant say i found the AI crap in SP.

I did like how he tried and tried to not like Gears2 but he did...right!?!

Liked the review this week

johnny_ultimate · 28-01-2009 07:23PM

Spot on review. Gears of War is the game everyone wants to hate: generic, unoriginal, characters with about as much depth as Nuts magazine. But it really is a spectacularly entertaining game.

BlitzKrieg · 28-01-2009 07:35PM

My only complaint about his GOW 2 review is I usually give him alot more respect for liking the plots of his games so I'm surprised that seems to have been struck with a sicknesss unable to spot plotting and has failed to put the really blatant pseudo x files *we created the badguys* subplot that has been screaming its head off since halfway through Gears 1 together that explains the whole section of the game he's complaining about. Yeah its not a great plot, but marks for them trying even if they move it so slowly that everyone has put it together by the end of the first game and they already have a good idea what the third one will consist of.

Retr0gamer · 28-01-2009 07:44PM

I liked Gears of War 2, in fact just beat it last night. However after beating it I feel there was just something missing from it for it to be a classic. It tries really hard to add variety to the gameplay but it just isn't enough. I think it's just that the whole game really is just repeating the same thing over and over and the excursions from the main gameplay are kind of crap.

Have to say the story was god awful jock tripe (but did suit the game) but when

Dom does find the wife

it was actually handled really well, surprisingly so for such a braindead game, even if

prey

got there first and did it better.

pixelburp · 04-02-2009 06:10PM

Little Big Planet:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/530-Little-Big-Planet

Oh and there's another bloody "unskippable" video at the end, so caveat emptor people.

L31mr0d · 04-02-2009 06:35PM

pixelburp wrote: »

Oh and there's another bloody "unskippable" video at the end, so caveat emptor people.

what's wrong with just not watching it? I don't understand why a short video on the end is such a big deal. If you where forced to watch it, like some sites do with ads, then I'd have a beef... but it is completely optional and not forced.

Ciaran500 · 04-02-2009 06:56PM

Not impressed with this weeks one. Felt like he didn't seem to want to play LBP and when he did he didn't care about.

pixelburp · 04-02-2009 07:55PM

L31mr0d wrote: »

what's wrong with just not watching it? I don't understand why a short video on the end is such a big deal. If you where forced to watch it, like some sites do with ads, then I'd have a beef... but it is completely optional and not forced.

Yeesh I was just kidding :rolleyes: But in any case, those dastardly fiends didn't announce that they were Unskippable until seconds into the movie! I endured half a sentence of tripe, it's a wonder I can still type

Jazzy · 04-02-2009 08:37PM

Ciaran500 wrote: »

Not impressed with this weeks one. Felt like he didn't seem to want to play LBP and when he did he didn't care about.

does that not say a lot about the game then ?

noodler · 04-02-2009 08:41PM

Jazzy wrote: »

does that not say a lot about the game then ?

lol, no. This is ZP we are talking about.

If it were the game's fault every time then there would be no good games.

The Escapist : Zero Punctuation Game Reviews

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