present for the bride

dohda · 29-08-2008 01:21PM #1

Hi All,

I see from an earlier post that a pressie for the bride on the morning of the wedding is the norm which is fine as I had planned on this anyway. My question is related to the speeches. Is the groom supposed to give the bride a present when he gives his speech? If so what sort of present are we talking about????

I'm not too read up on wedding etiquette I'm afraid.....

Little Miss Cutie · 29-08-2008 01:24PM

I've been to a fair few weddings over the years and never seen this happen. As far as I know it is just pressies to the mothers and bridesmaid, sometimes the bestman/groomsmen but never heard of pressie for bride!

dohda · 29-08-2008 01:27PM

Thats good news. Not because I would have a problem buying a present but I would be useless at picking something to give her in front of all those people!! Not been to too many weddings and it's been a while so I was not sure.

gaz wac · 29-08-2008 01:28PM

I had to give two prez cos it was also her b-day that day

but gave her the presents the day before the wedding on our own.

Little Miss Cutie · 29-08-2008 01:29PM

I didn't realise until recently that presents on the morning of the wedding were common either tbh. I guess it is a way to settle the nerves.

I hope your wedding goes well and you both have a great day!

dohda · 29-08-2008 01:34PM

Thanks, hopefully will go off without a hitch!

(you better all be right about this no pressie in the evening thing! Will be a wshort wedding otherwise....)

Enii · 31-08-2008 06:21PM

Generally you would give the bride a pressie the morning of the wedding (you would have arranged it with the mother). A necklace is nice because she could wear it on the day (the bride could have picked it already but if she has then send her a bunch of flowers with the pressie).

victor1 · 15-09-2008 12:51PM

maybe get her a nice picture of yourself framed for posterity, that'd be cool

barbiegirl · 15-09-2008 01:25PM

Traditionally you get her something and it's given before the church when she's getting ready. Also she normally gets you something, my oh got a lovely watch and I got the bracelet I wore on the day :-). But remember small and thoughtful can be just as meaningful :-)

tattykitty · 16-09-2008 12:37PM

Can anyone tell me when this present-buying lark became a tradition? Surely the fact that you're committing to spending your life with (and unconditionally loving) the other person is enough of a special gift? I'm assuming the gift idea was dreamed up by some corporation or other, wanting to suck yet more money out of people. All these "trimmings" drive me bats - wedding favours, gifts to all and sundry, matching this, themed that...fair enough if you have a small fortune and choose to go down that road, but it's all those people that feel pressured into following the "tradition" of spending cash they really don't have, who I feel bad for. :mad:

Sorry, rant over.

BroomBurner · 16-09-2008 01:22PM

+1 Tattykitty

I also agree that just calling something a tradition (which is what I'm assuming happened in this case), doesn't actually mean it is a tradition.

I'm guessing the first conversation came about as:

<greedy wife-to-be> Oh, honeyshnuckums, what are you getting me for our wedding day?
<more-cash-than-brains hubby-to-be> What do you mean, bunny-features? Am I supposed to get you something on top of the lavish wedding we are splashing out on?
<GWTB> Why, yes, darling, my best friend XXX received a beautiful diamond necklace from her husband, it's a tradition you know
<MCTBHTB> Oh, a tradition, you say? Oh, well in that case, I must fetch you a small castle, or what-not, as your present.

Hence, a "tradition" was born. Obviously, I have well researched this tradition...

hunnymonster · 16-09-2008 01:35PM

tattykitty wrote: »

Can anyone tell me when this present-buying lark became a tradition?

At least 36 years as my mum still has the present my dad gave her the morning they got married. It wasn't big but I remember as kids getting a big kick out of it coming down out of the wardrobe for us to look at, now, with my dad dead it's a lovely memory of him. Presents are not always commercial, hallmark invented consumerism....

NextSteps · 16-09-2008 02:11PM

I thought you were meant to give a teabag?

gaz wac · 16-09-2008 02:14PM

UB wrote: »

I thought you were meant to give a teabag?

You do..but not until the wedding night !!:D

*logs off*

nolly23 · 16-09-2008 06:52PM

My dad bought my mum pearls for her gift and that was 45 years ago. so it was definately tradition back then.

bensoneb · 17-09-2008 07:41AM

We got married a few weeks ago and actually had the conversation about pressies beforehand. I brought up the conversation as I didn't want my husband forking out any more money as he had already bought me a fantastic engagement ring earlier on in the year and had also bought me my wedding jewellery. I told him that getting married was the big thrill for me on the day so we shouldn't buy each other presents. I really didn't see the sense in it.

Having said that, I still bought him a present because I always felt that it's unfair that the guys have to fork out on engagement rings and we get off scott free. So I bought him a very expensive watch but when giving it to him, I explained that it was my version of an engagement ring.

Regarding tradition, I did some very traditional things on the day but that doesn't mean that I had to go with ALL traditions. Pick and choose the ones you like!

present for the bride

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