Telling your parents about your first time.

Ah-Watch · 26-07-2008 12:18AM

Michellenman wrote: »

I did that once to my whole family, we saw one of those white and grey fluffy dogs that used to be on the Dulux ads.

''Oh look! That looks like the dog from the Durex ads!!''

SHAME!

Priceless:)lol:D

Michellenman · 26-07-2008 12:19AM

Ah-Watch wrote: »

Priceless:)lol:D

My mam just goes ''Oh those little rubbery ones, yeah?''

Ah-Watch · 26-07-2008 12:20AM

Michellenman wrote: »

My mam just goes ''Oh those little rubbery ones, yeah?''

no ma the big ones:D... oh i'd die of embarrasment!

Michellenman · 26-07-2008 12:23AM

Ah-Watch wrote: »

no ma the big ones:D... oh i'd die of embarrasment!

Oh I did, considering I was only like 14 at the time, I wasn't supposed to know what those were!

Back on topic, never would I tell my parents about losing the big 'v'.
Though when I mentioned I was going on the pill I got a big chat about ''sexual health precautions''.

mumhaabu · 26-07-2008 12:32AM

lol! at yer mans father, reminds me of my own! I guess I will never forget my first time when I was 20 :eek: (late I know). I don't know why it happened but it did.

My father's PA had come home to the home office and I never knew it, as a lazy teenager (teenager is now till 20 btw!) I was doing my usual stuff at home and never knew she was there, so I wandered into the office in my jocks (this was in 2003 during the heatwave) with a boner, (to look up prawn while we are all being honest here).

The PA was also lightly clothed (skinny white top and mini) when I walked in, I thought I'd die when she was there, instead she was shocked and then started aimlessly flirting and asking nosey q's, she asked me had I a GF? I thought does a PS2 count? She then literally dived upon me and we did it there on the desk ontop of all the papers. The disaster that ensued was when the two parents walked in ontop of us literally with a late account for filing; Mothers face was like this , I just ran to the bedroom and gave the silent treatment for like a week until counselling was suggested!

The PA as you can imagine got a new job shortly afterwards (on mothers insistence). I finished the job a few times in the days afterwards with her. The next PA was an overweight 55yr old. However the best part of it is I am meeting tomorrow to discuss old accounts she screwed up, (wish me luck:D) Czech PA's Ftw!

Beau x1 · 26-07-2008 01:02AM

^ Epic.

Dudess · 26-07-2008 01:03AM

Beau x1 wrote: »

Nice hand, but you're a terrible sailor I'm afraid and should think before you post buddy.

Haha, ask her to elaborate on what you shouldn't be doing and watch her reaction.

Beau, dr.bollocko is messing with you.

baby_blu/useful_contacts: are you the same person? If so, pick a username and sit on it. You're not supposed to have more than one account.

26-07-2008 01:43AM

This post has been deleted.

elmyra · 26-07-2008 01:51AM

challengemaster wrote: »

Incase you get the urge to rape someone? Otherwise that makes as much sense as tCN at the best of times.

I think he envisaged some sort of scene whereby I would say "Please Sir, perhaps you would be willing to wear this sheath while you ravage me?"

What's disturbing is how rational it starts to seem when you think about it - like maybe they actually would because then they'd have less chance of getting caught by what they leave behind, so to speak. Then you realise that you were right the first time and that your Dad's a bit mental and probably belongs in tCN.

challengemaster · 26-07-2008 02:02AM

elmyra wrote: »

I think he envisaged some sort of scene whereby I would say "Please Sir, perhaps you would be willing to wear this sheath while you ravage me?"

lol

bad thoughts...bad thoughts..:pac:

Manic Moran · 26-07-2008 02:16AM

elmyra wrote: »

My Dad once told me I should carry condoms incase of rape.

What, would you be doing the raping?

Otherwise, I'm not entirely sure I understand the mechanics behind this.
"*Scream! Scream!* Help! I'm being raped!!! HELP!!!"
....
"Bugger. Nobody's around to help me. Excuse me, sir? Yeah, would you mind awfully if you're going to violate me, please have a look in my bag and grab a condom out? Thanks muchly."

I think you've got more luck just quietly telling him "OK. But I've got AIDS/Herpes/STD that makes men's equipment fall off"

NTM

Futurecrook · 26-07-2008 02:46AM

Manic Moran wrote: »

I think you've got more luck just quietly telling him "OK. But I've got AIDS/Herpes/STD that makes men's equipment fall off"

NTM

Id say hed run like the wind.

Could never tell my parents about the first time coz theyre ridiculously awkward about anything related to sex. My mum tried to ask me one day if I was sleeping with my boyfriend and she got as far as "are you two having, well...." she couldnt even say the word sex in front of me. It was hilarious. I just laughed at her.

Crumble Froo · 26-07-2008 08:13AM

fonpokno wrote: »

Ha no she'd never let me out of the house again! Even if I don't agree with her on everything, she's still my mother and i'm still living in her house. most unfortunately...

And every now and again she makes scary comments. We'll all be sitting watchin a film or somethin and then a sex scene will come on and she'll say "it's not like that in real life you know"

*cringe*

oh christ! that is horrifically cringeworthy. or actually just watching sex scenes with them in general. ugh.

my ma used to wait til she had me in teh car and start reminding me about contraception, and why she thought the pill was a bad idea for me, and to remember to be responsible, and something else i cant remember cos i was busy leaving the car.

my fella though, has a 15 year old, and about a year ago they were sitting watching telly one day when he told my fella he'd done the dirty... my fella gave him a high five and reminded him that he (my fella) was too young and good looking to be a grandfather.

26-07-2008 09:39AM

Beau x1 wrote: »

I remember I had slept over at the girlfriends house at the time, and when I came home my parents asked me who was the one who used contraception. Just like that, out of the blue, assuming I had sex. I said I had (the old rubber always works well...I wasn't going to lie or anything as what was the point in that? May as well have told them when it was easiest to.

Anyway, needless to say my mom burst into tears and started calling my girlfriend a dirty slut - it was hilarious. My dad patted my brother on the back stating "well there's only one gay in the family now". Haha.

How did it go for you? Mine was quite dramatic and uncessarily so at that too.

LOL fairplay, exactly what I needed for my hangover.

My ma walked in on me once when I was 17 with GF at the time...... most awkward walk down the stairs I've ever had. Messy :pac:

NudeastheNews · 26-07-2008 11:17AM

Sometimes parents can be very slow and you just have to state the obvious

Mother: Who gave you those marks on your neck???

Me: Eh.. <boyfriend's name> obviously!

Mother: But he's so tall?? That must have been awkward for him...

Me: It doesn't matter when you're lying down

Aisling(",) · 26-07-2008 11:35AM

My mam dosent think im as pure as the driven snow but definietly dosent think ive done the dirty.if she found out id done it two years ago she'd kill me for a few reasons!
1.being too young
2.not being married
3.not being sober
4.not being indoors
5.not being in a relationship.

ive been told she would rathe if i waited till im married but if not till im at least 21.crazy old lady.

taidghbaby · 26-07-2008 12:12PM

elmyra wrote: »

I think he envisaged some sort of scene whereby I would say "Please Sir, perhaps you would be willing to wear this sheath while you ravage me?"

What's disturbing is how rational it starts to seem when you think about it - like maybe they actually would because then they'd have less chance of getting caught by what they leave behind, so to speak. Then you realise that you were right the first time and that your Dad's a bit mental and probably belongs in tCN.

does your father know jigsaw/snyper???

Magpie! · 26-07-2008 12:15PM

mumhaabu wrote: »

lol! at yer mans father, reminds me of my own! I guess I will never forget my first time when I was 20 :eek: (late I know). I don't know why it happened but it did.

My father's PA had come home to the home office and I never knew it, as a lazy teenager (teenager is now till 20 btw!) I was doing my usual stuff at home and never knew she was there, so I wandered into the office in my jocks (this was in 2003 during the heatwave) with a boner, (to look up prawn while we are all being honest here).

The PA was also lightly clothed (skinny white top and mini) when I walked in, I thought I'd die when she was there, instead she was shocked and then started aimlessly flirting and asking nosey q's, she asked me had I a GF? I thought does a PS2 count? She then literally dived upon me and we did it there on the desk ontop of all the papers. The disaster that ensued was when the two parents walked in ontop of us literally with a late account for filing; Mothers face was like this , I just ran to the bedroom and gave the silent treatment for like a week until counselling was suggested!

The PA as you can imagine got a new job shortly afterwards (on mothers insistence). I finished the job a few times in the days afterwards with her. The next PA was an overweight 55yr old. However the best part of it is I am meeting tomorrow to discuss old accounts she screwed up, (wish me luck:D) Czech PA's Ftw!

I don't think that happened. Sounds more like a storyline from the 'prawn' you were going to look up.

weeder · 26-07-2008 12:59PM

baby_blu wrote: »

" btw i rode your daughter the other week"

.

Funny remembering my dads reaction tho i was grounded for about 6 months

best comment ever

Dudess · 26-07-2008 01:03PM

mumhaabu wrote: »

I guess I will never forget my first time when I was 20 :eek: (late I know)

Of course it's not late, don't mind that crap. You shouldn't feel the need to explain yourself at all.

Sam Vimes · 26-07-2008 01:11PM

elmyra wrote: »

I never ever plan to talk to my parents about my sex life. I'm sure they'd be perfectly cool about it but kinda too cool. My Dad once told me I should carry condoms incase of rape. Overactive parenting, tbh.

when i read that at first i didn't spot the name and thought you were a bloke. I thought it was meant in a totally different context

Toto Wolfcastle · 26-07-2008 02:03PM

Meh my parents will never ask me if I've had sex, but every time I went anywhere with my last boyfriend I was kindly reminded that they didn't want any grandchildren just yet.

My mother cant even handle it when any of us says 'my boyfriend'. I was with someone for 4 years and I never once referred to him as 'my boyfriend' in front of her.

She also tried to use a book I had as a child about good apples and bad apples when I was meeting up with someone recently. It was hilarious.

Plug · 26-07-2008 02:04PM

The-Rigger wrote: »

Yore ma knows full well about my first time, so I only had to tell your da, he wasn't too pleased.

elmyra · 26-07-2008 03:52PM

Sam Vimes wrote: »

when i read that at first i didn't spot the name and thought you were a bloke. I thought it was meant in a totally different context

Lol. Nope, no plans to rape anyone

Slidey · 26-07-2008 07:49PM

When I was going out with my first "bumpin uglies" gf we used to always do the bold deed in her house as my old pair had taken a dis like to her.

Anywho, the routine i had was wrapping the rubber in a tissue and dropping it into the stanley range i as left her house every night.

The foil would go into my pocket and get launched out the window at the first opportunity.

Well one day i forgot to spin the tin and it ended up stayin in the pocket of the jeans.

Put on a wash and totally forgot about it after.

So sitting down having the bowl of crunchie nut cornflakes before work and me old wan comes into the kitchen in dressing gown and slippers with the washing for the line, as she goes past she drops the johnny rapper on the table and annouces:

"They dont always work ya know"

Now i'd just laugh but at the time I was just mortified and made an exit in a most rapid style!

Sherifu · 26-07-2008 08:07PM

Talking to parents about sex? No, I don't think so.

sam34 · 26-07-2008 08:47PM

my folks think im still a virgin, lol!
i remember having a lovebite on my neck years ago, i was about 18, and when i was at home i had to wear a scarf round my neck and pretend i was wrapping up coz i had a cold. but my mother got sight of it anyway and asked me what it was and i came up with this bull**** story about tripping and banging my neck off the door handle....
funny thing is, i got the impression she knew i was lying but that she didnt actually know what a hickie was

brianthebard · 26-07-2008 08:51PM

sam34 wrote: »

my folks think im still a virgin, lol!
i remember having a lovebite on my neck years ago, i was about 18, and when i was at home i had to wear a scarf round my neck and pretend i was wrapping up coz i had a cold. but my mother got sight of it anyway and asked me what it was and i came up with this bull**** story about tripping and banging my neck off the door handle....
funny thing is, i got the impression she knew i was lying but that she didnt actually know what a hickie was

she prolly didn't want to embarass the two of ye further,plus its not exactly a cast iron guarantee you got the ride is it?Why ask questions you don't want to know the answer to?

Slidey · 26-07-2008 08:55PM

brianthebard wrote: »

she prolly didn't want to embarass the two of ye further,plus its not exactly a cast iron guarantee you got the ride is it?Why ask questions you don't want to know the answer to?

Overheard in a pub from a young fell of about 17 sporting a ring of those durty yokes about his neck to his mates while sucking outta a bottle o bulmers

Well the tight bitch.. I didnt get the ride but i got everything else

sam34 · 26-07-2008 09:01PM

brianthebard wrote: »

plus its not exactly a cast iron guarantee you got the ride is it?

oh i know, i hadnt, i was young and innocent back then!:D

Telling your parents about your first time.

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