Stretchmarks and Dating, especially what do the guys think?

LegacyUser · 19-07-2008 06:35PM #1

I know stretchmarks arent that uncommon but the are new to me.

Im only 21 years old and about 9 months ago I was put on medication that made me gain a serious amount of weight. Literally overnight I went from a size 10 to a 14-16, but worst of all now Im absolutely covered in stretchmarks.

Im really really embarrassed about this and havent been out with a single guy in nearly a year as I am mortified at the thought of the relationship developing and letting anyone see my body. Guys my age, 20-30, aren't going to understand this, men are visual creatures and want something pretty to look at-especially young men.

So what do I do about this? Does anyone feel the same way? What are guys opinions on something which I feel is really ugly?

Agent Smith · 19-07-2008 06:40PM

Unless they are Like, Massaive, I honnestly wouldnt care.
even then, Not being at the peak of physical fitness myself, I would hardly be able to judge.

Dudess · 19-07-2008 06:42PM

Bio Oil is supposed to be brilliant for them.

MagicMarker · 19-07-2008 06:43PM

Yeah, unless you're going out with guys with a body hercules would kill for then you don't have to worry to be honest.

LegacyUser · 19-07-2008 06:45PM

Bio oil is only good for using beforehand to prevent them, like when ur pregnant n u know there is a chance of getting them. Its actually pretty useless after the fact

LegacyUser · 19-07-2008 06:50PM

Bio oil is only good if you use it beforehand when there's a chance of u getting stretchmarks, like when you're pregnant.

Its not much use after the fact unfortunately

ramtha · 19-07-2008 06:58PM

People like confidence. Thats whats beautiful not how big is your arse!! Everyone has body issues expect the perfect ones and they have them worse :pac: Relax.

Dudess · 19-07-2008 07:02PM

If a girl posted saying her weight made her self conscious when naked then I would advise her to work on her weight - in other words, it is possible for her to do something about it.

Stretchmarks - you're more limited in what you can do about them. As I said, you can use Bio Oil which is supposed to be fantastic. Creme de la Mer is supposed to work wonders for stuff like burns and so possibly stretchmarks, but I'd investigate that first before shelling out for it - it's very expensive. Maybe visit a dermatologist?
Other than that, eat healthily and exercise in order to keep your weight consistent - constant weight fluctuation can cause stretchmarks, and avoid caffeine and salt as these cause fluid retention, which can lead to bloating and again... stretchmarks.

But don't be a slave to them. Accepting that they're part of you now and there's not much you can do about them is important too. If you're a great person and attractive in other respects, stretchmarks will hardly cancel all that out...

Carrigart Exile · 19-07-2008 07:26PM

Ashamed wrote: »

I know stretchmarks arent that uncommon but the are new to me.

Im only 21 years old and about 9 months ago I was put on medication that made me gain a serious amount of weight. Literally overnight I went from a size 10 to a 14-16, but worst of all now Im absolutely covered in stretchmarks.

Im really really embarrassed about this and havent been out with a single guy in nearly a year as I am mortified at the thought of the relationship developing and letting anyone see my body. Guys my age, 20-30, aren't going to understand this, men are visual creatures and want something pretty to look at-especially young men.

So what do I do about this? Does anyone feel the same way? What are guys opinions on something which I feel is really ugly?

Stretch marks are a fact of life and certainly to me do not diminish a woman's beauty. Have you also considered going out with an older man, we are so much more grateful:D

taidghbaby · 19-07-2008 07:34PM

99% (at least) of people have parts of their body they're embarrassed of and would like to change, even though few would actually admit it to their friends (escpecially men)

just think of it this way: you migh be concerned about the stretch marks, but chances are the fella your talking to/interested in/dating will have similiar hang ups on some part of his body!

doctor evil · 19-07-2008 08:07PM

Nothing wrong with lady lines, the majority of people at some stage will get them.

TBH if a fella gets that far hes going to have other things on his mind than noticing the lady lines.

Bio oil is only good if they are new (pink in colour) and not establised (silver). TBH bio oil is more to reduce fresh scarring.

AARRRGH · 19-07-2008 08:09PM

I wouldn't give a damn, and I have fairly high standards...

Don't worry about it.

Toots · 19-07-2008 08:13PM

Everyone has stretch marks somewhere, or will get them some stage in their life. They'll start to fade to a silvery colour and for the most part will be hardly noticeable. TBH, any guy who has an issue with this isn't worth being with IMO.

Dudess · 19-07-2008 08:13PM

Yeah OP, nearly all girls have stretchmarks. The monthly bloating and water retention alone puts pressure on the skin to the point that it loses elasticity. And other factors cause them - weight loss/weight gain as part of growing between your teens and 20s, the Pill... And women of all sizes - skinny minnies included - can have them.

I know some stretchmarks are more noticeable than others, but stretchmarks are stretchmarks and not some sort of monstrous eyesore

LegacyUser · 19-07-2008 08:35PM

I know alot of people will get them at some stage, its just hard bn only 21.

And unfortunately its not just a few, u cant see my upper legs anymore, they're completly covered

Toots · 19-07-2008 08:51PM

A lot of girls get stretch marks on their boobs if they develop quickly. I've yet to meet a guy (well a guy who was into girls) who'd turn his nose up at boobs just because of a few stretch marks!

chopperbyrne · 19-07-2008 09:32PM

It wouldn't bother me and I reckon most men would feel the same way.

We're not all as shallow as people make out.

Alice1 · 19-07-2008 09:39PM

I have stretch marks on my thighs too. Know exactly where you are coming from....

When I met my boyfriend (now my hubby) he was so gobsmacked to find stockings and pretty underwear under my demure exterior that he never did notice my stretch marks!

I'm quite serious - try it - if nothing else it will give you confidence. You'd be surprised how many guys like to see stockings and suspender belts.

AARRRGH · 19-07-2008 09:40PM

Alice1 wrote: »

When I met my boyfriend (now my hubby) he was so gobsmacked to find stockings and pretty underwear under my demure exterior that he never did notice my stretch marks!

I'm quite serious - try it - if nothing else it will give you confidence. You'd be surprised how many guys like to see stockings and suspender belts.

Great advice.

Calhoun · 20-07-2008 12:22AM

Ashamed wrote: »

I know stretchmarks arent that uncommon but the are new to me.

Im only 21 years old and about 9 months ago I was put on medication that made me gain a serious amount of weight. Literally overnight I went from a size 10 to a 14-16, but worst of all now Im absolutely covered in stretchmarks.

Im really really embarrassed about this and havent been out with a single guy in nearly a year as I am mortified at the thought of the relationship developing and letting anyone see my body. Guys my age, 20-30, aren't going to understand this, men are visual creatures and want something pretty to look at-especially young men.

So what do I do about this? Does anyone feel the same way? What are guys opinions on something which I feel is really ugly?

have stretch marks myself :P it happens

but i wouldnt be put off by it to much as i personally believe that if your with someone they should like you for who you are.

Worst case example i could give is with a girl i was with who was afraid to show her mid rift. Kinda gave me the impression that she didnt trust me and her the perception that i cared what was down there but realistically it didnt matter, i liked her for her but she was always trying to live up to more.

Dont let it get you down, realisticly it isnt important

FabulousGirl · 20-07-2008 01:00AM

Ashamed wrote: »

I know stretchmarks arent that uncommon but the are new to me.

Im only 21 years old and about 9 months ago I was put on medication that made me gain a serious amount of weight. Literally overnight I went from a size 10 to a 14-16, but worst of all now Im absolutely covered in stretchmarks.

Im really really embarrassed about this and havent been out with a single guy in nearly a year as I am mortified at the thought of the relationship developing and letting anyone see my body. Guys my age, 20-30, aren't going to understand this, men are visual creatures and want something pretty to look at-especially young men.

So what do I do about this? Does anyone feel the same way? What are guys opinions on something which I feel is really ugly?

Everyone has stretch marks - even me!

My b/f's bro has huge stretch marks on his back after having a sudden growth spurt. They're a fact of life and most people will get them for one reason of another. I put Vitamin E cream on mine and now they are barely visible. I'm pretty sure any guy lucky enough to be with you is not going to care about a few stretch marks.

Overheal · 20-07-2008 05:03AM

I wouldn't have a problem with it. We all have them (or most of us do) so its hardly something to be embarrassed about. Its nothing to fixate on.

Amtmann · 20-07-2008 10:35AM

Ashamed wrote: »

I know stretchmarks arent that uncommon but the are new to me.

Im only 21 years old and about 9 months ago I was put on medication that made me gain a serious amount of weight. Literally overnight I went from a size 10 to a 14-16, but worst of all now Im absolutely covered in stretchmarks.

Im really really embarrassed about this and havent been out with a single guy in nearly a year as I am mortified at the thought of the relationship developing and letting anyone see my body. Guys my age, 20-30, aren't going to understand this, men are visual creatures and want something pretty to look at-especially young men.

So what do I do about this? Does anyone feel the same way? What are guys opinions on something which I feel is really ugly?

Speaking as a 25 year old man, my girlfriend went through the same situation as you, and also has lots of stretch marks. Two weeks ago, I proposed to her.

They don't bother me. I love her to bits regardless. Actually, the first time I noticed them was the first time we had sex. To be honest, I was a little relieved: I'm not very fat or anything, but I'm certainly not Mr Six Pack! I felt relieved that she wasn't perfect because then, I'd have felt inadequate.

In any case, don't worry Ashamed. And don't be Ashamed. I know it's a cliché, but any guy who'd dump you over that just isn't worth having, full stop. Men aren't just physical creatures, trust me! The most important thing for a lot of guys is the all-round package: personality combined with prettiness combined with body. Unfortunately a lot of guys in their early 20s are obsessed with looks alone -- but this is just a phase, and as guys reach their mid 20s, they begin to grow up a little.

So my advice to you is not to be embarrassed or ashamed. Very few people have perfect bodies.

Kazobel · 20-07-2008 05:14PM

OP I can honestly tell you men don't give a toss, most men couldn't even tell you what a stretchmark looks like, I wouldn't worry about it and if you're with a guy long enough to be sleeping together then parts of your skin that are less pigmentated won't bother him at all, they aren't always that shallow

Faith · 20-07-2008 05:53PM

Please, I've had stretch marks on my hips since I hit puberty, and have more on my thighs. Nearly everyone has them and I don't even notice I have them anymore. I can't imagine that they'd be that off-putting. If you're lying there naked and prepared to have sex with a guy, your stretchmarks will be the last thing on his mind!

Incidentally, I'm 21 too. Most women get them a puberty when hips and boobs start to grow.

SnowMonkey · 20-07-2008 07:17PM

Dont be silly, stretch marks arnt bad...
There just there, ok maybe there unsughtly to you but like a fe poster's hav pointed out if a bloke is seeing your streatch marks there are other womanly bits that he'l be looking at.... more...

so no wouldnt really bother me... As a bloke....

Lone Stone · 20-07-2008 08:41PM

am i the only guy with strech marks ?
got em all over my legs

altho i think they look cool so i dont care haha

Overheal · 20-07-2008 08:46PM

nope i have em at the waist :pac: im brinking teh sexy back

RedXIV · 20-07-2008 10:09PM

Stretch marks would never affect me, mainly because if i got to the stage where they became visible, i'm already getting carried away

But believe it or believe it not, guys can be self-conscious too and as such, can be alot more forgiving than women think we are.

OP, if you are getting on well with a guy, don't let something as minor as stretch marks get in the way. they shouldn't even be considered an obstacle

Deadevil129 · 21-07-2008 12:52PM

OP, I'd consider you lucky to have escaped from them for so long. I first got stretch marks when I was thirteen. They surrouded both my breasts, my hips and my inner thighs. It wasn't untill I stopped growing and my weight settled that they began to fade, the ones on my thighs were so numerous you can still see them quite well even though they've now faded to a white/silvery colour, but there's absolutely no trace on my hips or breasts. A friend's mother made me up a mix of essential oils to put on them which made them fade temporarily if I was going swimming or something, so maybe search for something like that? I never used bio oil but as far as I know it says on the box it can be used on old scars and the alike so maybe give it a go? Clarins do a stretch mark cream as well.

RPGGAMER · 21-07-2008 01:43PM

small imperfections like that are nothing to worry about. i wouldnt care less. i'd be more interested in the rest of her!

Stretchmarks and Dating, especially what do the guys think?

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