Table Manners

LouOB · 25-03-2008 05:14PM

Quality wrote: »

I dont think so darling, The Roast Beef was perfectly cooked....

I should report your post for personal abuse!

xOxSinéadxOx · 25-03-2008 05:14PM

i have awful table manners, oh well.

ojewriej · 25-03-2008 05:15PM

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

How does using a fork in one hand make you look like a savage but using it in the other makes you look dignified?

Knife is a trickier then fork to use, that's why we are supposed to use it with our superior hand. That's what I was told, and I think it makes sense.

But that's not the point. The point is that it's a set of rules, you don't have to agree with them all, which together make a big picture. I often find that when someone breaks one, he/she breaks more of them.

aidan_walsh · 25-03-2008 05:15PM

The way I see it, it's about having a bit of dignity while you eat. It sounds funny, but it's true. It amazes me how many people look like complete savages while they eat. Knowing how to sit properly, and how to use cuttlery is a big part of it.

Thats fair enough. To me a big part of food is in the enjoyment of the meal and the company I share it with and how I or anyone else holds their utensils has nothing to do with it. I don't begrudge people leaning on the table or counter when they're in the pub, I don't feel the need to treat those same people differently in my home.

As I see it though, being upset because someone isn't holding their fork in the right hand is pretty much the same as being upset because someone isn't extending their pinky at quite the right angle while sipping their tea - absurdity.

sharkie2008 · 25-03-2008 05:16PM

I wouldn't have a problem with elbows on table, or using cutlery in wrong hands, can't say it would annoy me but belching at the table is just rude. i have a friend who does that kind of thing and it really annoys me. she also talks with her mouth full so that bits of food fly out

ergonomics · 25-03-2008 05:21PM

I was raised to have very good manners but I would think you are overreacting a bit. If it bothered you so much that you had to make a thread online about it, why didn't you save yourself a whole lot of hassle and say 'Excuse me, but I believe it bad manners to do XYZ'.

AlmightyCushion · 25-03-2008 05:24PM

ojewriej wrote: »

Knife is a trickier then fork to use, that's why we are supposed to use it with our superior hand. That's what I was told, and I think it makes sense.

I have never noticed anyone having any problem using a knife in the "wrong" hand.

ojewriej wrote: »

But that's not the point. The point is that it's a set of rules, you don't have to agree with them all, which together make a big picture. I often find that when someone breaks one, he/she breaks more of them.

Having rules for the sake of having rules is just stupid. There should be a reason to the rules. If I was to make a rule that it's bad manners to blink at the table that would be stupid same for this left hand/ right hand crap.

In the table manners handbook is there a rule saying that you shouldn't get up and take a crap on someone's dinner? I suspect not does that mean it's perfectly acceptable to do so? Of course not.

Quality · 25-03-2008 05:25PM

ergonomics wrote: »

why didn't you save yourself a whole lot of hassle and say 'Excuse me, but I believe it bad manners to do XYZ'.

Because it would be rude to point that out.

ergonomics · 25-03-2008 05:27PM

It's also rude/bad manners to talk about someone or gossip about them behind their back. If you want to be really pedantic about rules, then that's exactly what you are doing. Rules are rules.

Run_to_da_hills · 25-03-2008 05:28PM

Quality wrote: »

I had visitors down over the weekend and the lack of table manners was unbelievable. Elbows on tables. Using the cutlery in the wrong hands. Belching. Chewing with the mouth open.
Does this annoy anyone else? Do you have manners?

Table manners went down with the Titanic.

Noelie · 25-03-2008 05:29PM

Quality wrote: »

Well it annoyed me to see one person in particular hacking into the roast beef with his knife in his left hand and his fork stabbed in with his right!!

I'm left handed and i use my knife in the left hand, it has nothing to do with bad manners and everything about being able to control both knife and fork.

ScumLord · 25-03-2008 05:29PM

ergonomics wrote: »

I was raised to have very good manners but I would think you are overreacting a bit. If it bothered you so much that you had to make a thread online about it, why didn't you save yourself a whole lot of hassle and say 'Excuse me, but I believe it bad manners to do XYZ'.

Because he'd get a smack in the mouth.

stovelid · 25-03-2008 05:31PM

Belching loudly, and especially eating with your mouth open, are a big no-no.

Using cutlery in the wrong hands, or putting your elbows on the table at an informal meal seem more like outdated etiquette issues, and I certainly wouldn't care about it.

funk-you · 25-03-2008 05:34PM

Quality wrote: »

Because it would be rude to point that out.

Oh dear god. [/Slashes wrists/]

-Funk

mickoneill30 · 25-03-2008 05:35PM

ojewriej wrote: »

Knife is a trickier then fork to use, that's why we are supposed to use it with our superior hand. That's what I was told, and I think it makes sense.

So a left handed person should hold it in their left hand?

humberklog · 25-03-2008 05:36PM

To the OP...Were the knees of your table modestly hidden by your table cloth? Elbows on table while not actually eating is fine. Fork in either hand can in no way be taken as bad manners. To pick up on those (or to take mental note) as host shows disgusting manners.
Personally i can't stand when someone reaches across my space. Pigs.

Susannahmia · 25-03-2008 05:36PM

I use the wrong hand to hold my fork. Its my mothers fault really, she never taught me that it was wrong.

I have tried my best to use the correct hand but I don't have any coordination at all and end up giving up.

It can be a bit embarrassing alright, a few snooty people have asked if I am left handed. I just don't get why it is such a big deal. I have good manners in every other way.

What really annoys me is people who chew with their mouths open, there is nothing worse imo. Or people who talk with their mouth full.

ojewriej · 25-03-2008 05:38PM

As I said before, the way I see it, it's set of social rules, which are supposed to make leving together easier and more pleasurable. It bothers me when soemeone eats slopily, this is the way I was brought up, and i'm not ashamed of it.

But i understand that it's all very subjective, I am a bit of a manner nazi, so I like to eat properly, and I like to see people eat properly. Someone above, has no problem with forks and elbows, but hates belching. I'm sure there are people who don't mind belching.

Personally, I do notice the elbows or fork in the wrong hand - but I wouldn't say anything. I would comment on belching though.

Kurumba · 25-03-2008 05:50PM

I am right handed and i use the knife and fork the 'wrong' way around.
It's nothing to do with bad manners, i'd hate to think i was offending anyone by this! .
I can tell you though I have tried to use them the 'correct' way around and the food has skid off the plate, i would more consider this to be bad manners if this was to happen

humberklog · 25-03-2008 06:01PM

jessie1 wrote: »

I am right handed and i use the knife and fork the 'wrong' way around.
It's nothing to do with bad manners, i'd hate to think i was offending anyone by this! .
I can tell you though I have tried to use them the 'correct' way around and the food has skid off the plate, i would more consider this to be bad manners if this was to happen

You relax there jess. Nothing wrong with that.
The people really offending good manners are those that notice it and think it bad manners. Nothing more offensive to good manners than sniffyness.
Very low indeed.

Mr.Plough · 25-03-2008 06:09PM

Im ambidextrous myself and use the knife with my left hand. I look like a retard using the other hand as like someone said above I have zero coordination.

Eating loudly and with your mouth open is really bad though. Belching is worse. Another one is when people bash and scratch the plate with cutlery. Obviously your going to make some noise, but when it sounds like you're eating with 12 spoons it's pretty bad imo.

keen · 25-03-2008 06:20PM

I hate eating with people who eat with their mouths wide open it's disgusting.

Elbows on the table, using a knife and fork in the "wrong" hands now that's been picky and wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

MattKid · 25-03-2008 06:51PM

I like to see good table manners.

I once made a date eat pizza with knife and fork in a pizza restaurant as she started to eat it with her hands.:o

ojewriej · 25-03-2008 07:16PM

humberklog wrote: »

You relax there jess. Nothing wrong with that.
The people really offending good manners are those that notice it and think it bad manners. Nothing more offensive to good manners than sniffyness.
Very low indeed.

You made a good point here - but where do you draw a line? Why is belching wrong, but elbows on the table ok?

It all makes me think about etiquette on boards. Txt speak can get you banned, and there is plenty of people ready to point out that you used their when you should have used they're. Why is that - you are still getting your point across.

And don't get me wrong, I don't really judge anyone based on their table manners, it's just something I notice. My GF has pretty bad table manners, i told her what i think about it, she doesn't really care enough to change them, so I made my peace with it.

humberklog · 25-03-2008 07:28PM

ojewriej wrote: »

You made a good point here - but where do you draw a line? Why is belching wrong, but elbows on the table ok?

It all makes me think about etiquette on boards. Txt speak can get you banned, and there is plenty of people ready to point out that you used their when you should have used they're. Why is that - you are still getting your point across.

And don't get me wrong, I don't really judge anyone based on their table manners, it's just something I notice. My GF has pretty bad table manners, i told her what i think about it, she doesn't really care enough to change them, so I made my peace with it.

Can't see where i made a their-they're spell faux pas. But that too is a good point oje. I think we can all find things that irritate us and taken in acultural context we'd generallly share them.
My point is that ponting out individual bad manners/annoying nuances is the hieght of bad manners. You could fart at the table with the queen however reacting to it or commenting on it is considered, in that world ,bad manners.
I too had a GF that had very irritating way of eating cornflakes.
E+OE.

humberklog · 25-03-2008 07:36PM

Then again there is belching and burping. Everyone can discretely burp but some people belchingly throw the spanners into the toilet and declare it as some sort of animalistic right. Farting too can occur. I sneezed recently in polite company and let out a very audible pant trump. I said nothing and the embarassment quickly passed. Good manners all round. Now if I'd asked them to pull my finger that would have been inappropriate and bad manners.
More tea vicar?

ojewriej · 25-03-2008 07:37PM

humberklog wrote: »

Can't see where i made a their-they're spell faux pas.

Sorry, didn't mean to make it sound like it was about you, it wasn't, just saw it couple of times. I actually saw the difference between they're, their and there explained in someone's signature.

I just wonder if any of the posters ridiculing an idea of elbows on the table bothering anyone, ever pointed out a grammar or spelling mistake on the boards.

humberklog wrote: »

But that too is a good point oje. I think we can all find things that irritate us and taken in acultural context we'd generallly share them.
My point is that ponting out individual bad manners/annoying nuances is the hieght of bad manners. You could fart at the table with the queen however reacting to it or commenting on it is considered, in that world ,bad manners.
I too had a GF that had very irritating way of eating cornflakes.
E+OE.

I wouldn't be doing that myself - unless i know someone well.

humberklog · 25-03-2008 07:40PM

ojewriej wrote: »

Sorry, didn't mean to make it sound like it was about you, it wasn't, just saw it couple of times. I actually saw the difference between they're, their and there explained in someone's signature.

I just wonder if any of the posters ridiculing an idea of elbows on the table bothering anyone, even pointed out a grammar or spelling mistake on the boards.

I wouldn't be pointing out myself - unless i know someone well.

I realised that half way through,sorry for not correcting. But you make good point.

KnifeWRENCH · 25-03-2008 09:41PM

Surely there isn't actually a designated "knife hand" and a designated "fork hand"? That is complete crap! People should use whichever hand they feel more comfortable with.
As for elbows on table - what difference does it make?

OP my father eats with his knife! I swear he uses his knife like one normally uses a fork. How would you react to that??

MizzLolly · 25-03-2008 09:44PM

Belching or making snapping noises when at a table is disgusting. Absolutely hideous.

Complaining about which hand you hold your knife/fork in is obsessive! That cannot be considered 'bad' table manners... :eek:

Table Manners

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