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cullinary disaster

  • 10-10-2007 04:58PM
    #1
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭


    fisrtly I am not sure if cullinary is actually a word, if not then I shall be going to the Patton office tomorrow.

    now onto the point. I was asked to look after the dinner for a while tonight. needless to say it got burnt to a crisp and mother dear is trying to save it. hopefully she learned the fact that men are no good in the kitchen and won't risk using my services for such purposes.

    have any more of the brothers let their mothers / girlfriends / lesser halfs know the futility of asking a tertosterone fueled mammal next to a boiling pot?


Comments

  • #2
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,786 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    I look after the dinner every night, from the minute it gets onto that plate to the minute the last forkful reaches my mouth I never take my eyes off it. Some nights when I'm real hungry I eat in front of the mirror. It's cycle-logical. Maybe I should Patton* that too, tanks for the idea brother.

    *Wasn't he in that picture about you're wan he was mad about? "Patton lusts for Gloria".


  • #3
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    ok, ok mr. no-one can badmouth a bad joke :D how do you spell it? Patten? ... oh wait... is that it?

    I think this is who you were talking about


  • #4
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,786 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    You can slag my crappy jokes anytime.
    Humour Charter wrote:
    Also folks - I do not want to see abuse because you didn't like their joke or it's been posted before. Even if this is the worst joke you've ever heard, please don't make a post saying "That's crap!" or whatever. Instead, please use the rating system build into the boards software (you'll see it at the top of a thread - choose from 1 to 5 stars of a rating). The only exception to this is you may slag off Hagar's so called jokes without fear of retribution.
    Nobody ever reads the Charter.:D


    Patton, Lust for Glory


  • #5
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    I have read the charter, I just think it would be better to have a thumbs up / down option. I mean a restauraunt with one star is better than a restauraunt with no stars, and a thread with no stars just means no-one has an opinion which usually means it's an ok joke


  • #6
    Zaph
    Registered Users, Subscribers, Registered Users 2 Posts: 47,397 ✭✭✭✭Zaph


    The Bollox wrote:
    how do you spell it? Patten? ... oh wait... is that it?

    The Patent Office, perchance?


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  • #7
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    ah... well what did you expect from The Bollox?


  • #8
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 5,135 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    The Bollox wrote:
    ah... well what did you expect from The Bollox?

    Bolloxology?


  • #9
    bronte
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,331 ✭✭✭✭bronte


    If it makes you feel any better I can't cook either! :D


  • #10
    The Hill Billy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,851 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    The Bollox wrote:
    have any more of the brothers let their mothers / girlfriends / lesser halfs know the futility of asking a tertosterone fueled mammal next to a boiling pot?
    'Fraid not brother. Mrs Billy does the cookin' during the week while yours truly out hard at work, she gets booted out of the kitchen at weekends.

    There's nowt wrong with a man being handy at the cookin'. How else are we going to develop our barbecuing skills? Also, lashing into a few onions & a couple of pounds of meat with a chinese cleaver is a great way to release some of the day's frustrations.

    From bitter experience - it is also best to get the chopping out of the way before you neck too many beers. There's been many a drunken Saturday evening in the Billy household frantically looking for missing fingertips in the dinner before the guests arrive. :o

    Not that it'd bother me or my mates, but the wimmins tend to get a bit nauseous about that stuff. Obviously if I manage to stop the bleeding & clean up the blood before Mrs Billy sees it I say nothing & nobody is any the wiser. ;)


  • #11
    Gillo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,566 ✭✭✭Gillo


    I used to have the same problem with losing finger's but after a lot of trial & error managed to come up with a good work around. While watching the match before you start to cook simply soak your hand's in Tabasco sauce. That way even if you can't find your finger recently severed digit and end up having to cook it, it will add a certain kick and taste amazing.


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  • #12
    ibh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,725 ✭✭✭ibh


    bronte wrote:
    If it makes you feel any better I can't cook either! :D

    Sorry Bronte, I thought you were a woman!! You're clearly not, as all female folk learn how to cook at a young age. Were usually out building forts or playing stick-ball..

    I agree with the weekend cooking for men however. And anything cooked on a bbq is to be done so by a man. It's outdoors for gods sake, of course its a mans job..


  • #13
    bronte
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,331 ✭✭✭✭bronte


    yeah...I skipped the learn how to cook classes as a youngster :D


  • #14
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    From what I've seen, most of the current generation of young women can't cook a lick.


  • #15
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 5,135 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    The-Rigger wrote: »
    From what I've seen, most of the current generation of young women can't cook a lick.

    If you want something done right Brother Rigger then you have to do it yourself. Even if that means cooking yourself.


  • #16
    randylonghorn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,509 ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    The-Rigger wrote: »
    From what I've seen, most of the current generation of young women can't cook a lick.
    But can they lick a cook?

    /borrows chef's hat


    p.s. try "culinary", Marts, me auld bollox!


  • #17
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    randylonghorn wrote: »
    But can they lick a cook?

    /borrows chef's hat

    Did you get lost?

    Good to see you in here. ;)


  • #18
    randylonghorn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,509 ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    The-Rigger wrote: »
    Did you get lost?

    Good to see you in here. ;)
    >_>

    I tend to drop in unexpectedly to here and there from time to time.

    <_<

    How do you think I found out about Damo's metal mickey? ;)


  • #19
    bronte
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,331 ✭✭✭✭bronte


    The-Rigger wrote: »
    From what I've seen, most of the current generation of young women can't cook a lick.

    yeah...that's because we found more fun things to do.


  • #20
    Thrill
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,485 ✭✭✭Thrill


    I can cook a mean boiled egg. Been known to make toast as well.

    I'm thinking of trying my hand at a can baked beens next week.

    Wish me luck Brothers.


  • #21
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    bronte wrote: »
    yeah...that's because we found more fun things to do.

    At the expense of being capable of fending for yourselves.


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  • #22
    bronte
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,331 ✭✭✭✭bronte


    Nope...perfectly capable of fending for myself!


  • #23
    KdjaCL
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,346 ✭✭✭✭KdjaCL


    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=160857&highlight=cheesecake

    search is back :D

    beat that :D

    this history of it
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=160740&highlight=cheesecake
    i did it again after i didnt learn
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055006057&highlight=cheesecake


    kdjac


  • #24
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    KdjaCL wrote: »
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=160857&highlight=cheesecake

    search is back :D

    beat that :D

    this history of it
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=160740&highlight=cheesecake
    i did it again after i didnt learn
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055006057&highlight=cheesecake


    kdjac
    Why not pictures. :D

    mmm cheese cake


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