Twice the fun...

jmiom · 15-09-2006 12:05PM #1

I've been with my partner 8 years, (I male, she female), we've been living together for the majority of that time, and have been engaged for 4 years. The thing is we blow hot and cold about the whole big "white" wedding thing, but we've firmly set a date (well a year) of 2008 to get married. By then we'll have had our second child (march next year) and be even more committed to eachother.

The thing is, having just moved back from the UK, we are finding lots of issues with us not being married. Employee benefits, tax issues, next of kin, health services, insurance, the list could go on when I find out even more.

So what we were thinking is....

Get married on the quick and dirty in a civil ceremony as soon as is possible, so that we are legally married and can get around the present series of problems. Then, in 2008 have a church wedding as originally planned.

1, Does anyone see any problem with this as far as the church is concerned? I don't mean opinions, but would there be technical difficulties?

2, How does one start to look for a civil ceremony? How quickly can it be done, and what's needed? (OK, I'll google that one)

3, What form could/would the church service take? Would it be a blessing, or could we go for the ... "dearly beloved, we are gathered....."

My understanding is that in a normal wedding, the church bit is usually just a religious ceremony, and the civil ceremony actually takes place out the back when they sign the register whilst the guest go outside for a smoke and a chat before the photos and the pi$$ up......

Any help/advice/guideance/shotgun pellets appreciated...

cheers

JM

babaduck · 15-09-2006 02:14PM

http://www.oasis.gov.ie/relationships/marriage/ is your first port of call.

Would you propose to keep your civil ceremony a secret from your friends & family & if so, how would they feel about being "kept in the dark" for 18 months/2 years???

You'll need 2 witnesses for a civil ceremony BTW

Also your church ceremony will be a blessing as you have already undergone the "civil" part which is the signing of the marriage register.

Either way, you need to give 3 months notice to the State of your intention to marry or else you need to visit a Judge to plead a damn good reason as to why he/she should waive this requirement

jmiom · 15-09-2006 02:20PM

Thanks

That's a great website, with even more reasons to do it now (well in 3 months....)

http://www.oasis.gov.ie/relationships/marriage/how_marriage_will_change_your_legal_status.html

Especially seeing there are young children involved.

We'd probably tell the families, they've been encouraging it for years, and perhaps invite both set's of parents, but then siblings, partners, cousins, aunts, uncles, oh $hit, here we go again....... all the way up to about 300 or so.....! Hence the quick and dirty, grab two guys/gals off the street for witnesses......

Ta

bonkey · 15-09-2006 02:46PM

babaduck wrote:

Also your church ceremony will be a blessing as you have already undergone the "civil" part which is the signing of the marriage register.

Yup, but you'd be hard-pressed to spot the difference between a blessing and a marriage ceremony.

jc

Twice the fun...

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