Can anyone give advice on the worth of life?

LegacyUser · 28-07-2006 08:19PM #1

I am going to get the the point straight away on this subject. I am a young man, relatively smart, good looking and with reasonable personality going for me. Recently, the whole world has got to me, it seems as though life is just a vicious circle, about working eating drinking having relationships etc. I have done thought into this and have come up with the conclusion in my opinion that in this world I am all alone. I have lost faith in human nature, I find people are so selfish and I have lost total faith in the finding the right woman idea I once had. It's only biological so we can have children and pro create.
This is very depressing "scientific" logic, but society has persuaded me that everything has to make sense. I used to be religious and spiritual, but society has made me doubt my beliefs. Life doesn't seem to mean anything anymore.
As a result of this, I feel depressed, pessimistic and down right alone. I used to be totally optimistic, but getting more mature has reversed this.
Is it that bad? Or am I right or wrong? Or do you have advice, please?

Nalz · 28-07-2006 08:24PM

Life is like a big big big box of chocolates....what you need to do is to pixk out the nice ones and chew on them for a while! enjoy, and stay clear of the coffee ones!

Its like a rollercoster, ya pay, ya get a certain timelimit, ya get ups and downs but the key is to enjoy it!

No seriously ya need to chill and relax. Your alive so why not live as best ya can. its simple as that really

Ruu_Old · 28-07-2006 08:24PM

We all have to deal with the selfish people in the world, thats just the way it is. Life is what you make of it and although its hard not to follow what everyone else is doing, it is possible to do your own thing and make a few changes. We only have a certain amount of time to live so I try not to think too much about it because it hurts my head and well probably isn't good for me.

Dudess · 28-07-2006 08:37PM

mind in +a_maze wrote:

As a result of this, I feel depressed, pessimistic and down right alone.

I'm wondering if it's the other way round - that as a result of already being depressed, you feel like this.
The bleak world view you're describing sounds like one of the classic symptoms of depression. It seems that you have this very common illness. I'm not a doctor so I'm not making a diagnosis but having known so many people with depression, including family members, I'm pretty sure that's what you have. If I'm right, you NEED to get help for it. There is no way you can carry on thinking like that. We all have negative thoughts but when they start to take over us, it's a problem. That's what's happening to you. And while what you're thinking seems logical in your head, it's actually not. Have a talk with your doctor ASAP. They may refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist. Maybe counselling will help you, but it seems, since you don't describe a bereavement or a traumatic break-up or other such upheaval, that you have clinical depression and you might require a course of anti-depressants. But obviously I can't say (it's not always the answer to just pop a pill so make sure you examine what other avenues there are). Whatever, though, you HAVE to get help for this. It's not just your usual being pissed off and in a mood for an hour type stuff.
There's no point in me telling you that life is actually wonderful and precious and you've got loads going for you blah blah blah. You've acknowledged that you have a lot going for you. Yet you still can't see the positive. And you won't until you get your depression treated - if you have depression and I'd be surprised if you didn't.
There's also no point in me saying to just pull yourself together and get on with it - people with depression can't do that - that's the whole point.
Finally, if you have issues with the idea of being mentally ill, you've got to change your thinking. It's nothing to be ashamed of, help is out there, and you are certainly not alone.
As I said, I'm not a medical professional so maybe you don't have depression. But you should still speak to your doctor or someone else appropriate.

mind in +a_maze wrote:

I used to be totally optimistic, but getting more mature has reversed this.
Is it that bad? Or am I right or wrong? Or do you have advice, please?

I personally have found the opposite. Your teens and into your early twenties can be fraught with difficulties. I'm in my late twenties now and have never been so confident and comfortable with myself. Not saying my teens were hellish or anything but give me this age over 18 any day.

Gordon · 28-07-2006 08:38PM

Well we are all alone to be honest, it's nothing to be scared of. You can have as many friends as is possible but it won't change the fact that you are a single entity.

I think you're putting blame on society when really you have been taking these ideas on and accepting them. If you don't accept such 'scientific logic' reasonings then go back to your roots and have a think about what you really think the world is about.

It sounds as if you have friends though, do you think you have many close friends? Could you explore different areas of enjoying yourself - like completely different social circles, nightclasses, travel? Maybe the country you are living in is not for you? Are you happy at work?

I think you should give the samaritans a call, and think about councelling also. You have the key to the life that fits you best, it's just that the keychain is infinitely large and there are a load of keys to sift through. True happiness is one of the holy grails in life I think. It's a difficult thing to obtain and everybody is looking for it.

Here's some Samaritans info, don't knock it until you've tried it.

www.samaritans.org or email jo@samaritans.org to get trained samaritan help via email. Alternatively dial 1850-609090 to speak in privacy and confidentiality.

Marksie · 28-07-2006 08:39PM

mind in +a_maze wrote:

This is very depressing "scientific" logic, but society has persuaded me that everything has to make sense. I used to be religious and spiritual, but society has made me doubt my beliefs. Life doesn't seem to mean anything anymore.
As a result of this, I feel depressed, pessimistic and down right alone. I used to be totally optimistic, but getting more mature has reversed this.
Is it that bad? Or am I right or wrong? Or do you have advice, please?

I AM a scientist by profession, but now have moved into a more spiritual pathway.
Society conditions.. so Feck society. Look at the world your way. There is immense beauty in it and a uniqueness to individuals that most do not see.

Being totally optimistic can lead to a rude awakening and it appears that you have had this.. it happens to us all. For you the pendulum has swung in the other direction into pessimism. Did for me, now i have found the balance between a fundamental belief in the world and a cynicism that is healthy.

You have to reconnect to your beliefs and re-view the world. It could be something simple to start.. you have already posted here.. look at some of the other threads... these are just ordinary pople,like yourself replying to queries like yours....
in essence they are the people in society.
There will be the ones who are off the wall, but the majority here give advice that contradict your statement that life doesnt mean anything anymore.

Society, does not yet control how you think and act (though inam sure the PDs would love that) refind the path you were happiest with and follow it..you will find there are a lot of people on the same thing
namaste

EOA_Mushy · 28-07-2006 10:00PM

mind in +a_maze wrote:

I am going to get the the point straight away on this subject. I am a young man, relatively smart, good looking and with reasonable personality going for me. Recently, the whole world has got to me, it seems as though life is just a vicious circle, about working eating drinking having relationships etc. I have done thought into this and have come up with the conclusion in my opinion that in this world I am all alone. I have lost faith in human nature, I find people are so selfish and I have lost total faith in the finding the right woman idea I once had. It's only biological so we can have children and pro create.
This is very depressing "scientific" logic, but society has persuaded me that everything has to make sense. I used to be religious and spiritual, but society has made me doubt my beliefs. Life doesn't seem to mean anything anymore.
As a result of this, I feel depressed, pessimistic and down right alone. I used to be totally optimistic, but getting more mature has reversed this.
Is it that bad? Or am I right or wrong? Or do you have advice, please?

Look mate, it normal and very true. Think of it like a game if you will. You are already playing, a new level just started. Time to do new things. Except this level depends on what you WANT to do.

antSionnach · 28-07-2006 10:47PM

My advice to you: Grow down. Its a concept of anti maturation.

If you are having these thoughts at a reasonable age where a boner is not an orthopaedic hip surgeon, where your insurance is unreasonable, and your significant other is your right hand (Ive been there), then you have simply fallen victim to the emotional version of premature ejaculation.

Thinking like this is the stuff of the pensionabled, those unfortunates who have peen packaged off to their detriment to shuffle down to some lonely suburban postoffice to collect their social welfare on a Friday morning before 10 o clock mass. They are disillusioned, cynical, cold.

Lo, go out, get locked, get the ride, and if you remember none of it, all the better! Just chill out.

Victor · 29-07-2006 12:02AM

Find a child in your life - a niece, nephew, cousin, whatever. Teach them / show them something funny. Watch them smile and laugh.

Thats what its about.

Kazaanova · 29-07-2006 12:13AM

OP, I bet you're pretty young. Nearly everyone gets depressed about life at some stage or another, some more than others. You say you're relatively smart, well you've got to be really smart about life and realise that your outlook will have pretty much 0 impact on how life is for you. So why be depressed? I don't think you actually suffer from depression. Life is mostly random, so by having a positive outlook, and hope that life will get better(finding love etc), when life is bad then you'll be doing your best.

The smartest advice I can give you is to relax, try and make things happen for yourself(a lot easier said than done, I know). And most importantly don't worry about life. You don't have to.

29-07-2006 05:43AM

Suggest you read a small book by Viktor Frankel. Think it's called Man's Search for Meaning? Been awhile since I read it. It's about surviving the concentration camps in Nazi Germany during WWII. Facinating read. Essentially it explores the meaning of "hope." I was pondering some of the same things that you mentioned in your OP and I think this book helped me.

cousin_borat · 29-07-2006 07:04AM

Victor wrote:

Find a child in your life - a niece, nephew, cousin, whatever. Teach them / show them something funny. Watch them smile and laugh.

Thats what its about.

here, here. Start looking outside yourself, doing stuff for others; even the smallest thing will change your outlook.

scojones · 29-07-2006 09:52AM

mind in +a_maze wrote:

I am going to get the the point straight away on this subject. I am a young man, relatively smart, good looking and with reasonable personality going for me. Recently, the whole world has got to me, it seems as though life is just a vicious circle, about working eating drinking having relationships etc. I have done thought into this and have come up with the conclusion in my opinion that in this world I am all alone. I have lost faith in human nature, I find people are so selfish and I have lost total faith in the finding the right woman idea I once had. It's only biological so we can have children and pro create.
This is very depressing "scientific" logic, but society has persuaded me that everything has to make sense. I used to be religious and spiritual, but society has made me doubt my beliefs. Life doesn't seem to mean anything anymore.
As a result of this, I feel depressed, pessimistic and down right alone. I used to be totally optimistic, but getting more mature has reversed this.
Is it that bad? Or am I right or wrong? Or do you have advice, please?

I think Bill Hicks summed this up the best by saying:

"The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question: "Is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and when they come back to us, they say, 'Hey, don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.'

It's just a ride and we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money, a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one." -- Bill Hicks.

Can anyone give advice on the worth of life?

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