Why do men cheat?

AngryBadger · 05-01-2006 04:20PM

quacker wrote:

I know, you are right. I have told him to get lost and be with her, but he doesn't want her. He wants us now forever, I do feel that in someways I pushed him as we were have problems and our sex life had really suffered which I really feel pushes couples apart. I do love him though, my heart is breaking.

Ok, that really sucks. Sorry to hear that. But all the stuff you're feeling, it really doesn't exist. If I may, and feel free to bawl me out of it at any juncture here,

You feel:
He should have been totaly lost without you.
He shouldn't have even felt the need to look at another woman, and if he ever did it should only have reminded him of how much he missed you.
He went and met up with someone else, so first you feel he's a ****er, and how dare he, but that's really overshadowed by the fact that oyu're wondering what's wrong with you, or what did you do wrong that this hapened.

The reality is, people hit pot holes now and then. life is stressful, there are all kinds of problems,and issues going on in the backs of our minds that we arent even aware of.

The only way to move on from here it to remember that by now,

You've emotionally pistol whipped him by telling him to shove off, so at the moment he's feeling exactly the same way you are. He's feeling that he ****ed things up, and has no idea how to mend it.

I'd say give him a call. Say all this to him, try not to rage at him because of how you're feeling. and just see where it goes, i think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

PS. This may involve crying, some of it done by himself

AngryBadger · 05-01-2006 04:22PM

akw wrote:

slightly harsh there mate, calm down

Second that, also "Hottie ville" lol

alfa147 · 05-01-2006 04:25PM

PowerHouseDan wrote:

Thats a Very General and Very Untrue Fact.

is it really though.. ive been around the mill now a fair few times and its happan again and again with people i know.. always ends the same way. ive done my time in long term relationships and not many last past 4 years between the age group i mentioned.

azezil · 05-01-2006 04:26PM

Ever hear the expression "love untested isn't true love at all"?

He was curious, you've been together 4 years, so he met someone else while you on a break, and he now knows for certain he wants you

akw_old · 05-01-2006 04:29PM

azezil wrote:

Ever hear the expression "love untested isn't true love at all"?

He was curious, you've been together 4 years, so he met someone else while you on a break, and he now knows for certain he wants you

probably true

quacker · 05-01-2006 04:29PM

Thanks for this, its sweet and very true. We both cried alot over the last few days as its all very recent and raw. One thing that gets me is that she slept in his bed (the bed we have shared for nearly four years - however we don't live together), is this forgiveable, I don't know I've never been in this situation before - hence the need for your advice and help?!

Firewalkwithme · 05-01-2006 04:32PM

akw wrote:

slightly harsh there mate, calm down

Sorry, I was going for the Short Sharp Shock effect there. You know, sometimes people just need to break things down to basics instead of analysing problems to death. You just end up second guessing yourself all the time if you over do it.

azezil · 05-01-2006 04:33PM

As you said it is a bit soon after the event, feelings running high, just take it easy for a while, if you truely love each other it'll work itself out.

god i'm in such a soppy mood today lol

toffeapple · 05-01-2006 04:37PM

quacker wrote:

Thanks for this, its sweet and very true. We both cried alot over the last few days as its all very recent and raw. One thing that gets me is that she slept in his bed (the bed we have shared for nearly four years - however we don't live together), is this forgiveable, I don't know I've never been in this situation before - hence the need for your advice and help?!

f*ckin get over it love...count your self lucky your still with him go home jump his bones get on with your life forget about it...he still wants you after being with someone else..good sign...you should probably make him brekfast for the next couple of moonths and iron his shirts just to be sure he doesnt run away again..and if that fails bl*w jobs on the hour should see him right.

akw_old · 05-01-2006 04:40PM

AngryBadger wrote:

also "Hottie ville" lol

first one to say anything. no laughing matter, that where they put people like me and derek zoolander. there must be more to life than being really really ridiculously good looking

AngryBadger · 05-01-2006 04:43PM

akw wrote:

there must be more to life than being really really ridiculously good looking

We can only hope!

AngryBadger · 05-01-2006 04:45PM

toffeapple wrote:

f*ckin get over it love...count your self lucky your still with him go home jump his bones get on with your life forget about it...he still wants you after being with someone else..good sign...you should probably make him brekfast for the next couple of moonths and iron his shirts just to be sure he doesnt run away again..and if that fails bl*w jobs on the hour should see him right.

Would one of the mods just ban this guy already? this is the 6/7th posting TODAY i've read where he's just giving someone abuse

Sarah** · 05-01-2006 04:48PM

I think he's funny!! Let him stay he lightens the situations!! I've gotten abuse of him today but its all good! He's allowed to voice his opinion!!

toffeapple · 05-01-2006 04:50PM

how is that abuse? where are the other 6/7 posts you talk about??

opinions are like ar*eholes ..everyone has got one no matter how clean or dirty..sorry if you dont like my language but its hardly abuse

toffeapple · 05-01-2006 04:51PM

its only a bit of banter............but ban me if you like i couldnt give a fiddlers w*nk

ianmc38 · 05-01-2006 04:54PM

I'm getting flashbacks of an episode of Friends - "WE WERE ON A BREAK"

AngryBadger · 05-01-2006 04:54PM

As you say everyone's entitled to their opinion, and I'm all abnout the banter, but there's a line, and my opinion is that a lot of what you're posting strays onto the "abuse" side of the line.

But then I'm only one guy.....

toffeapple · 05-01-2006 05:04PM

AngryBadger wrote:

As you say everyone's entitled to their opinion, and I'm all abnout the banter, but there's a line, and my opinion is that a lot of what you're posting strays onto the "abuse" side of the line.

But then I'm only one guy.....

yeah maybe im not the most sensistive bloke when it comes to advice but im just telling it how it is..how i think it is.

akw_old · 05-01-2006 05:13PM

AngryBadger wrote:

As you say everyone's entitled to their opinion, and I'm all abnout the banter, but there's a line, and my opinion is that a lot of what you're posting strays onto the "abuse" side of the line.

But then I'm only one guy.....

"I'm only one guy in a world of forum abuse. my secret weapon is the LINE"

AngryBadger · 05-01-2006 05:19PM

akw wrote:

"I'm only one guy in a world of forum abuse. my secret weapon is the LINE"

you know I once shot a rocket full of racoon into space....crazy fury little bastards never knew what hit 'em, but they cam sure knew where the line was!

nitrogen · 05-01-2006 05:37PM

What the f**k do you expect a break to be? You either break-up or not. Enough of this American nonsense!

By all means, you can still be a couple and take time apart from each other, holidays separately and many relationships survive long distance. So what do you expect a break to be? He / She can do what ever they want then.

Dustaz · 05-01-2006 06:01PM

toffeapple wrote:

but ban me if you like i couldnt give a fiddlers w*nk

lol, that phrase is the funniest thing ive read all day. Thanks toffeapple:)

Op: Yoiu were on a break, you want him back, he wants you back. bygones etc. Count yourself lucky you got the second chance.

quacker · 05-01-2006 06:53PM

Thanks all for your support / advice etc I'm going to meet him now so we'll just let the future take its own course for now - whatever that may be.

I guess at the end of the day what will be will be.

Seraphina · 05-01-2006 08:41PM

well while its great that after shagging someone else that he still wants you and knows it now - i'd still feel a little uncomfortable about the fact that HE was the one who wanted the break. of course if you both agreed to it etc. then its not really a prob, i guess you're just a bit shocked because you didn't think he'd be out sleeping with other women while you were probably worrying about the relationship.
be glad that he didn't shag someone else and decide **** this relationship, im off to get my rocks off with lots of random women.

Hagar · 05-01-2006 08:46PM

Remember the slogan "Have a break, have a [Strike]Kit-Kat[/Strike] Kwik-Shag"

quacker · 06-01-2006 10:02AM

we did both agree to the break as things were not going well at all between us as we felt that a break would be good and would help us both to see how we felt about eachother - I never thought that he would use the time to f**k another girl, he says that it was all about s*x but I don't know . . . . . should I give him another chance??

toffeapple · 06-01-2006 10:19AM

yes of course, you know you have already made up your mind so be positive and stick to it

Duckjob · 06-01-2006 10:21AM

quacker wrote:

is this forgiveable

quacker wrote:

should I give him another chance??

Nobody can answer these questions except you. Its how you feel about it that matters.

If you feel there might be something worth saving, have a go at rebuilding the relationship and see how it goes. Its only then you'll know whether you're capable of putting the past behind you or not.

Vangelis · 06-01-2006 06:25PM

If you didn't agree that you could meet others in the "break" you can call that cheating. Find out what exactly you mean with "a break".

elexes · 06-01-2006 06:32PM

imo you dont want to be in this relationship and are nit picking .
its clear to me and many other users and almost everyone whois ever watched friends that you clearly were on a break .

if you cant get over the fact well then thats fine but dont be expecting for him to say sorry for it cause imo hes no reason to say sorry . after all when you were on a " break " what did you do ? sit around moap watch some tv eat ice cream ?

cause if you did you didnt do the correct thing at that time

cheer up . you live you learn . go out and have some fun

Why do men cheat?

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