best chat-up lines

marshmallow · 23-04-2005 07:59PM #1

any one got any good chat-up lines? (preferably ones that work!) would help if male or female was written at the end of the post.

DonkeyStyle \o/ · 23-04-2005 08:02PM

Ones that work, hmm...
How about...
"Hi, my name is <your name>, nice to meet you."

tovalee · 23-04-2005 08:02PM

anything that doesnt sound like a chat up line! obvious lines are such a turn off, start a genuine conversation and you'll have a much better response.

(female)

StupidLikeAFox · 23-04-2005 08:05PM

i wish i was cross eyed so i could look at you twice

Matthewthebig · 23-04-2005 08:05PM

Are you from Jamaica?

Because you Jamaican me crazy

Male

Rhyme · 23-04-2005 08:07PM

"You'll do"

"Get your coat"

"Hello, let's make party"

23-04-2005 08:17PM

So...how do you eat your haggis?

melekalikimaka · 23-04-2005 08:19PM

Guy: Hi Im james bond
girl: what?...your names james bond???
guy: NO... POLY bond, Im hear to fill your crack

Pigman II · 23-04-2005 08:21PM

Asl?

Rhyme · 23-04-2005 08:21PM

Oh that one reminds me of this one...

"How do you like your eggs in the morning"

...and consecutively the shot down response, "Unfertilised"

Not mine mind you...

Drummer · 23-04-2005 08:27PM

melekalikimaka wrote:

Guy: Hi Im james bond
girl: what?...your names james bond???
guy: NO... POLY bond, Im hear to fill your crack

Its supposed to go - Hi, I'm Bond, Poly Bond and I'm here to fill your crack !

Only Human · 23-04-2005 08:29PM

There are 206 bones in the human body! Lets make it one more.

modular · 23-04-2005 08:30PM

A song about chat-up lines:

http://alsongs.com/index.cfm?view=alsong&SongNumber=166

Guru Maith Agut · 23-04-2005 08:43PM

Oh stick to a Pythonesque song for God sake! How about...
Sit on my face and tell me that you love me.

Worked for me!

Male (obviously)

jellybabyjane · 23-04-2005 09:19PM

hi is your name jacobs 'cause your a cracker?

4Xcut · 23-04-2005 10:08PM

I'm having a little trouble with calculus, can you integrate my natural log?

Pick up an ice cube and smash it on the bar and say"Now that i've broken the ice can i buy a drink"

Do you follow snooker, maybe i could sink your pink

Pigman II · 23-04-2005 10:15PM

4Xcut wrote:

Do you follow snooker, maybe i could sink your pink

I reckon any woman would be more impressed by an offer to 'kiss the pink' tbh

Le Rack · 23-04-2005 10:16PM

Guy: "Do you work at the post office?"
Girl : "No, why?"
Guy: "I just noticed you've been checking out my package"

and the 206 bones in the human body one works on the right girl when delivered right!
just for clarification Im a girl!

StupidLikeAFox · 23-04-2005 10:40PM

al your parents al qaeda because you are the BOMB

also, there appears to be a stairway in your tights, a stairway to HEAVEN

Ro: maaan! · 23-04-2005 10:43PM

Oh god! There's nothing worse than a bad joke, that's not even being told right.

Pigman II · 23-04-2005 10:45PM

ColHol wrote:

also, there appears to be a stairway in your tights, a stairway to HEAVEN

Eh I think thats meant to be 'Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?"

stagolee · 23-04-2005 10:45PM

ColHol wrote:

al your parents al qaeda because you are the BOMB

also, there appears to be a stairway in your tights, a stairway to HEAVEN

should that not be a ladder? if the girl has something resembling a staircase in her tights you could be in for a crying game moment later on

Raphael · 23-04-2005 11:14PM

"Look Babe, your ugly and I'm desperate, waddya say?"

StupidLikeAFox · 23-04-2005 11:42PM

Pigman II wrote:

Eh I think thats meant to be 'Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?"

heh, close enough!

''Hey baby, you make my software turn to hardware''

PS, would any of these actually work?

Tiffany · 24-04-2005 02:00AM

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

spoon · 24-04-2005 05:47AM

your hair smells nice, can i stand here?

wheres me jumpa · 24-04-2005 11:50AM

"you must be a parking ticket cos youve got fine wrote all over you"

"do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again"

Scarinae · 24-04-2005 12:01PM

I'm a necrophiliac, wanna play dead?
Nice legs, what time do they open?

wheres me jumpa · 24-04-2005 12:03PM

i was watching family guy last night and quagmire came up with some brilliant ones, the ffirst of mine above is a direct quote.

argh but i cant remember the rest of them!

24-04-2005 12:18PM

wheres me jumpa wrote:

i was watching family guy last night and quagmire came up with some brilliant ones, the ffirst of mine above is a direct quote.

argh but i cant remember the rest of them!

QM - "hello little girl, what age are you?"

Girl - "16"

QM - "18? You're first"

Girl - "MOM!"

QM - "I like where this is going"

Only Human · 24-04-2005 12:18PM

"Roses are red,
violets are blue.
I'm schizophrenic,
and so am I"

best chat-up lines

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