Advertisement
Help Keep Boards Alive. Support us by going ad free today. See here: https://subscriptions.boards.ie/.
https://www.boards.ie/group/1878-subscribers-forum

Private Group for paid up members of Boards.ie. Join the club.
Hi all, please see this major site announcement: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058427594/boards-ie-2026

The Pump

  • 15-12-2004 03:19AM
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,478 ✭✭✭


    Two aliens landed in the New Mexico desert near a gas station that had been closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger of the two aliens addressed it. "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."
    The gas pump (of course) didn't respond. The younger alien started to get mad at the lack of response and the older one said, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."
    The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated the greeting. Again, there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I will fire."
    The older alien again warned his comrade, "You don't want to do that; You really don't want to make him mad!"
    "Rubbish," replied the younger alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and fired. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared outwards and towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him in a burnt and crumpled mess 200 yards away in a cactus patch.
    Thirty-five Earth minutes later, when he finally regained consciousness, refocused his three eyes and straightened his bent antenna, he looked dazedly up at the wiser one, who was standing over him, slowly shaking his big green head.
    "What a ferocious creature," said the young fried one. "It damn near killed us! How did you know it was so dangerous?"
    The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler onto the crispy, peeling flesh and shared some knowledge. "If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through the galaxy," said the wise old alien. "When a guy has a penis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick it in his ear, you don't mess with him."


Comments

  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 4,570 Mod ✭✭✭✭Ivan


    Nice one!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,315 ✭✭✭Chalk


    woop woop :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,984 ✭✭✭✭Lump


    HA HA


    John


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,762 ✭✭✭WizZard


    Very good! :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,510 ✭✭✭sprinkles


    Haha :d


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,375 ✭✭✭Antisocialiser


    Are you still checking the hun everyday Goneshootin? ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 94 ✭✭pancakeman


    Thats not even remotely funny. infact i feel offended :mad: :mad: :mad:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,709 ✭✭✭BolBill


    pancakeman wrote:
    Thats not even remotely funny. infact i feel offended :mad: :mad: :mad:

    The words cop,the,F**k and on come into mind....... :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,785 ✭✭✭Farls


    not 3 bad


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,478 ✭✭✭GoneShootin


    Are you still checking the hun everyday Goneshootin? ;)

    maybe I am :D


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 251 ✭✭UNIFLU


    he he he!! class


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17 Laodach


    Super joke!

    Just love it.


Advertisement
Advertisement